...You don't like NICE guys or BAD guys. You just plain don't like guys.
Originally Posted by charlestudor2005
Dude,
stop being a shmuck and then defensively blaming women for not digging you. Oh wait, someone else already said that.
Alright, I had to say something like that to keep up my bad boy rep
but let me try to add something constructive as well. I'll tell it in the first person, but it could apply to a lot of guys.
I learned back in middle school that the girls-who-like-bad-boys are going to be my friends (if they are bad
and smart), not my lovers. Since I'm now several years past puberty, let me make a couple observations.
(1) I'll never fit that mold. Momma just raised me too damn well. It's off the table.
(2) From a mature perspective I'm very thankful I don't fit that mold. Those guys have some significant developmental challenges and personality traits that cause them trouble in many aspects of life (save bedding the bad girls
) that I enjoy having success in. Thanks, Mom.
(3) From a mature perspective I'm very thankful I don't fit that mold. In a young man's eyes those gals are very attractive, socially and sometimes physically. But how do YOU spell headaches? Those girls face challenges in life, too, and do not complement my lifestyle (which is, briefly, "Leisure with Dignity").
(4) Early romantic experiences are influential but not defining. Had I stopped in junior-high I would have reason to consider my self sexually unattractive and, as Summer follows Spring (let it be soon!) I might resent women, considering their behavior the actual cause of my unhappy situation.
I'm gonna let ya in on a secret here, fellas.
It doesn't require a genuine bad girl to engage in bad boy sex. Miss Cums's earlier post is right on target:
...we don't want someone who lives like this, we just want someone who has this attitude in bed. ...Nice guys are totally capable of doing this, just give in to your animal lust!
I never have an extended sexual relationship (P4P or civilian) in which my partner does not, at some time, say something to the effect of, "Oh god yes, baby, just TAKE me!" Much of the female population (enough so that you can safely forget the rest...unless of course you're married to one of the rest) responds well to that.
I'm well aware that not all men are equally adept at Women. For instance, to make "giving in to one's animal lusts" pleasant for all parties requires that a gent have not only some familiarity with his own animal nature and how to express it sexually, but also an inner assurance (remember, if you start askin' permission or a lot of procedural questions you ain't a bad boy yet)... an
inner assurance that your partner is gonna like this a lot and (particularly important for the less assured) is not going to reject you.**
Here's the beauty part: Most men can handle this if they have an interest in doing so and the opportunity to practice and develop. I trust you see where I'm going with this -- all the tools you need are available to you.
I'm wordy these days and this is already too long, so I'm not going to tell my story here or try to detail how a guy might go about strategically and purposefully developing this quality with the assistance of this community, but it can be done.
You don't have to be a bad guy to beat them at their game.
** Just a note while I'm feeling loquacious: While a regular lover will know your ways, it's not a bad idea to mention to a first-time partner something along the lines of, "Baby, I'd never hurt you but I'm feeling a lot of pent-up energy (tension, power, whatever) today. I hope I'm not too rough on you." Say it with a smile and a hint of promise and not only will there be less chance that you'll frighten her when you start to growl, but you'll also give her something to anticipate. If she expresses concern promise that you'll start slow.
Maybe just need to act on those fantasies with my favorite lady and do as jfred says, pre-warn her. Just my thoughts…..
