What was your worst provider visit?

My worst session with a provider was better than my best session with my wife!

Let's see....provider stared at me and didn't talk at all...gave bad cbj..took 5 mins to get hard...gave covered hj using 3 fingers...took 5 mins to get hard, then 5 more to pop

I had another one, maybe second place....Went to see a massage lady in East Ft. Worth that is still around.... How I don't know?
I took this from something I wrote almost 3 years ago....

Before I start, we have never met, but understand that I'm very clean, I would NEVER go see a provider without a fresh shower, I'm well groomed, that being said, you ask so here it is.......


Was set up at 10:00, so I left my house to make my way to far east ft worth at 9:30. right after I left she text me says "are we still on for 10:00" I text her back and confirm. 5 min later she calls me, why I did not response to her text , I told her I did but no worries I'll be there, she great but she will be 15 min late, called her at 10:12 she said sorry going to be another 10 min. , all this time i'm setting in a business park. she finally calls me at 10:35 and I go in. She ask me to set down and we can talk.

Next she has on her profile she is mid 40's, if she isn't 60 yet she will be soon, not a deal killer but why lie to me. The only pic on P411 with her tits hanging out, well if it's her, it was 20 years ago.


She gives me her Menu $100 fbsm 120 with top view 140 bottom view with mutual touching. $160 has an added surprise She says she has $200 L-3. But would like to get to know me first.

I then told her That if the $160 is a PM, it's really not my thing so if it is we should leave it off. She told me I would not be disappointed, but she was not willing to reveal was it was. so time is wasting and it was $20, okay.

I guess we are 10 minutes into the hour and we start, she come back in and sprays me down with some kind of what I think had alcohol in it, I guess to sanitize me and wipes me down. Then she has me hand sanitize my hands. She tells me that she will get naked on the flip. The Massage really was not a massage at all lot of light touching playing with my junk, with dirty talk. That part was OK. She ask me to pull her panties aside and feel her clit. Then she told me how tight she is and would I like to put my finger in it. Of course I said yes, She said if I want to do this she will go get me a finger condom that is the only way she would do this. I passed on that. She ask again I told her not at this time.

So after about 15 min she said I should flip, and she took her top off and told me that she does not remove her panties, she likes them pulled to the said, she thinks its sexy. At this point I should have left and said "is this for your satisfaction or mine?" but I did not. She does bend down and let me rub and kiss her tits, I surprised at this, because there has to some germs in my mouth?

She starts L-1 after wiping me down me down sanitize wipes. She continues with dirty talk and I'm going along pretty good. Then she stops for some reason and walks across the room for something.....I reached down to scratch near my near me junk and she turned around and told me that if I want her to touch me I can't touch my mtself or play with it. I guess cross contamination?

She ask me If I would like her to suck it, of course we know the answer, she then states that I'm a little big for regular condoms and she would go get a mag. and she was gone for about 3-5 min. By the time she got back I was limp. She did start working on it again and got me back up and then she told me that the extra $20 was for a PM, but since I had paid for it I would love it; other providers do not know how to do it like she does. She then slips on a disposable glove lube and starts in on my ass. I finish pretty quickly. I then told her that i still do not like PM. I'm not sure what happen to the BJ but it never happen.

Little small talk she tells me that I'm now on her L-3 list, small talk and gone.

I'm sure some of you guys have been there as well.....

I've had a few from friend in the shower to a bp whore pulled out a used condom for me to use, I was out of there in a flash and laughed all the way home.

About 6 years ago I pm'ed a provider out in Greenville TX. She said she couldn't come but had a friend. We ended up meeting at a Starbucks parking lot off 30. It was raining very hard and it was cold. AS she got closer she called me so we talked. Said the weather sucked but she could give me a BJ in my truck in the parking lot. Of course we got all frisky and primed up talking sex shit back and forth. She said keep my dick out and she will pop right in and blow me away. She pulled up, walked to the truck, opened the door sat down and I swear to you, she had a 5 oclock shadow.. She/he went straight for my cock... I grabbed her hair and it moved... I said hay, this is not my thing stop!!!!! she/he looked right at me feet apart and it was a very ugly man in makeup and a dress. She tried to tell me she was a lady. I was show me your pussy.... She started to lift the dress then opened the door and ran off... LOL.. I was fucking cracking up....

About 6 years ago I pm'ed a provider out in Greenville TX. She said she couldn't come but had a friend. We ended up meeting at a Starbucks parking lot off 30. It was raining very hard and it was cold. AS she got closer she called me so we talked. Said the weather sucked but she could give me a BJ in my truck in the parking lot. Of course we got all frisky and primed up talking sex shit back and forth. She said keep my dick out and she will pop right in and blow me away. She pulled up, walked to the truck, opened the door sat down and I swear to you, she had a 5 oclock shadow.. She/he went straight for my cock... I grabbed her hair and it moved... I said hay, this is not my thing stop!!!!! she/he looked right at me feet apart and it was a very ugly man in makeup and a dress. She tried to tell me she was a lady. I was show me your pussy.... She started to lift the dress then opened the door and ran off... LOL.. I was fucking cracking up.... Originally Posted by nothingbuttfun69

LMFAO, You win for fucked up story.

thank you!!!!

true story

In a word, Tara Evans...........enough said

Let's see if I can remember this at all. It happened to one of our legendary gents back in the ASPD days. As I recall he was out of town on business and ordered up a little room service. When he opened the door who should appear but his ex-wife. I believe we all wanted to know which party was more surprised and/or embarrassed.

If any of you really old-timers can recall this, maybe someone can post a link. Originally Posted by Traveler64

The Scot

I don't think he's a member here, but someone re-posted it here: http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?...post1055028543 and here: http://eccie.net/showthread.php?p=10...post1051797700

A scarier one was his review of a psycho that kept mumbling and talking to his coat. I couldn't find it here but think I may have a copy I made before ASPD closed down. If I can find it, I'll post it (assuming that's not against the rules).

In the bad old days before resources like this - you guys are really spoiled - ive been mugged and slipped a Mickey Finn. But The Scot's two reviews are legendary, both for the extreme situations and his well-written, self-deprecating description.

Kinda surprise to see Tara pop up on this list. I have seen her a number of times and always had a wonderful experience. Maybe it was just an off day, you really didn't elaborate on why it was a bad experience. Course could be nothing more than the reflection you see in the mirror.

Kinda surprise to see Tara pop up on this list. I have seen her a number of times and always had a wonderful experience. Maybe it was just an off day, you really didn't elaborate on why it was a bad experience. Course could be nothing more than the reflection you see in the mirror. Originally Posted by Knighthawk

Dude you act like he is the only one that has had a bad session with her, there are several guys who have said the same. Are you really surprised or are you just wk-ing?

I keep waiting to see my name pop up.

Everyday i check in and I'm like, "Whew! Bullet dodged!" hajajaja

I keep waiting to see my name pop up.

Everyday i check in and I'm like, "Whew! Bullet dodged!" hajajaja Originally Posted by THN

LMAO! I know right!

My first appointment with Leilover was fun...the second she was an incredible bitch. I left pre activities and she texted an apology. ..was not my imagination

I've never had a pimp jump out from under the bed, or ran into someone I knew from the real world, but my VERY FIRST experience was definitely a let down.

It was the quintessential "BP" (CL, actually... way back when) experience. No kissing... not even "CBJ"... she just laid back and turned her head like it was the most awful thing that could possibly be happening to her.

She even had a ton of good reviews and she'd obviously been in the business a while.

Sometimes people don't "click" or "shit happens", and that is one thing.... but some people just make no effort/apologies at all, and that is completely different