Virginity

While I hold no love for Middle Eastern countries nor how they view religion, how can you judge someone just because of where they are from. How is their view of waiting really any different from a 'true' Christian's? There are many religions that 'preach' the marriage before sex mantra. Does it make them right? No! But that is how they choose to believe..

But before i get bashed, I am a white 43 yo atheist that has a broader view and truely believes in 'to each their own'. Originally Posted by wackatronic

Not going to bash you. You are right to a certain point. There is little difference between Islam and Christianity in terms of chastity and sex with in marriage. The problem is intensity. When is the last time a Christian committed an honor killing because his "virgin" daughter had pre-marital sex? Not at all. As for Islam, it happens all the time in the Middle East. They are more repressed sexually than are Christians, and this in turn leads to issues being discussed here.

It seems to me that these individuals had sexual issues before they saw you and still have those issues. It had nothing to do with you, just their beliefs. I'm sorry someone would take their issues out on you. We live in a world with many wide beliefs. And in our current information age, people are getting bombarded with information and visuals from everywhere that sex is good and it sells. This is in direct opposition to some of the beliefs that certain people have.

Oh, c'mon, Britt -- I already know you're a smart girl. Haven't you figured it out -- there's a reason those dorks were still virgins!

middle eastern explains it....but either way...it is difficult when you are saving yourself for the right person, wife, dear loved one etc...no matter what the reason is. Guilt always settles in...afterwards. It the plan of the devil to get us to feel bad once we have gone over the edge. And unless we are cold-hearted and lack feelings, then we will feel some remorse.

Religious values not matter how one was or is raised stick ...even in trying times. They were tempted, curious, probably tired of waiting on an approved mate, etc...and wanted one hell of a lay.

Shake it off Britt....it is not anything you could have done differently. When I first started hobbying....I made a choice to play or pass. I felt bad after the fact...and still do but it is a choice that I make. Our conscience tells us how to act and feel based on our upbringing.

if these guys would donate the unused portions of their appointments to me [like rollover minutes] at least one guy would leave happy me. while the first time thing and religion sure comes into the equation with time and experience they might come to realize that good sex with a nice lady like this is actually a good thing and each minute should be enjoyed

I am "newbie" friendly, so if the man is a gentleman, sometimes I will take a chance on him.


TWICE I have had an issue with virginity. My original stance was that if a man wanted to lose his virginity to a provider, then that is his prerogative.

However, both times, each man left upset. I asked each why he wanted to leave so quickly and that he still had several minutes left. Both men replied that they felt guilty. Guilty for:

-losing "it" to a random girl and having no feelings for me
-not being married when losing it
-offending God


My intention is NOT to have people leaving my house upset and confused, and while I understand that sexuality is complex and different for everyone, I really think that "losing it" should be done with someone special. Originally Posted by brittanylennox

I don't know if this helps in your quagmire of thought concerning the "de-flowering" of men....but....I've decided not to be responsible for a provider's choice of a career....and recommend you not accept responsibility for a client seeking your services. Others have said it....internal issues can provide guilt after partaking in something that your inner compass says is wrong....however the inner drive to participate soon will suppress that inner compass/guilt feeling....and again one seeks out what one needs/requires/must have...

While many participants in this forum are used to having sex with multiple partners with no bonding etc. this is NOT the norm.

There are numerous sources, surveys and studies where this number may differ +/- 1, but the average man has sex with 7 women in his entire life. (And we KNOW men over-report these things!) Moreover half of single men under 30 aren't seeing any women at all, and the vast majority of Americans are both monogamous and happy with it.

Mr. Datecheck #32674 meeting Ms. Fakename in order to accomplish sex is most assuredly NOT the norm for most people. Maybe it is the norm for the group represented here; but it is not the norm overall.

In ordinary dating, outside of people whose levels of promiscuity fall outside the norm, there is seldom sex within the first hour of meeting -- though I admit to having had two dates like that. But during my "dating phase" I dated (not had sex with) well over a hundred women; so just statistically I was likely to encounter things that were outside of norms. For me, sex within an hour was 2%, sex within the first date was 5%. For everything else -- sex came later (usually third to fifth date) or not at all.

Most typically, sex happens when the people know each other reasonably well, and the woman has developed a reasonable level of comfort. The man finds the woman attractive; and the woman finds the man attractive -- albeit often for very complex reasons in both cases. The sex is one aspect of the culmination of a phase of courtship. If there were zero prospects for anything long term, the woman wouldn't want the sex.

Again, I DO realize there are situations outside what I have just described. There are men out there who have slept with thousands of civie women; and women out there who have slept with thousands of civie men. But, OVERALL, sex is something EXTREMELY SIGNIFICANT AND MEANINGFUL within a relationship between a man and woman. (Yes, I realize other sexualities exist and I'm not denigrating that. But lets keep things simple for now.)

Now -- just a quick refresher. Sex produces bonding hormones. Their effect can be quite profound.

For those used to ignoring or recasting the effects; maybe it is no big deal. Or, for those who are emotionally unavailable due to pre-existing bonding or other conditions; it may also be no big deal.

But it typical human experience the effects of bonding hormones are quite substantial. So substantial that people kill themselves and do all kinds of crazy stuff. These effects are, I am sure, one of the primary reasons why providers often take great pains to assure their anonymity. 99% of those efforts won't throw off an LE trace; but they put substantial barriers in front of the non-LE client who just needs to wait 3 days for the effects of the bonding hormones to abate and not have them reinforced.

This effect, again, is powerful and intentionally so. It is there to induce men to hang around a pregnant woman for months while she carries a baby and provide for her needs during and for the first year after pregnancy.

So this issue is NOT, IMO, tied to the guys' religion. It is tied to their virgin status.

It is all well and good for a bunch of 40-50 year old guys who have had sex with untold numbers of essentially anonymous women to poo poo the effects.

Moreover, sex with a provider is usually about 7 points higher on the Richter scale than what is usually seen with a guy's first sexual partner who is unconfident, inept, has no idea how a penis works, etc etc etc. The average healthy male experiences orgasm within 3 minutes of putting his penis in a vagina. (2.5 if he is a premature ejaculator.) (Yes, I realize it takes longer with a condom.) But imagine, for a moment, the incredible build-up with a provider. No three-minute orgasms there!

A provider, at least those I have seen, is a sex expert beyond compare. She can make kissing alone more erotic than some inept civie women can make a blowjob. She has seduction down pat and expertly excites every aspect of a man's senses; and knows what she is doing so well that she can adapt on the fly. And the 45-minute buildup she gives to an orgasm is something that is ungodly pleasurable.

Take a virgin who has never had sex with a woman, has never experienced the effect of bonding hormones, etc. -- and then let his first sexual experience by with an incomparable sex expert. Make sure sex (and its effects) can't be discussed in advance, so he has no warning about what he will be FEELING.

And then give the juxtaposition of an unfamiliar flood of bonding hormones combined with the fact it is inappropriate with Miss Anonymous to feel such things.

And you have a recipe for EXACTLY how those guys reacted.

People have a right, so long as they hurt nobody else, to do whatever they wish up to and including suicide, IMO.

But just because people have a right to do something, doesn't mean it is their enlightened self-interest.

I would never recommend that a guy's first sexual experience be with a GFE provider; particularly if; unlike an earlier poster; he had no experience with lap dances and the like.

I personally believe that, at least ideally, a guy's first sexual experiences are best undertaken with a woman whose name he knows, who he actually likes, and who actually likes him and truly finds him attractive.That way, his feelings will be in an appropriate context where they can even be reciprocated.

Obviously, there are exceptions. I am speaking generally, and it is only my opinion.

Also, earlier in this nation's history; fully 30% of guys had their first sexual experience with a provider. But, given what I have read about it, these ladies really don't compare with the GFE provider of today.

Those that I have seen, with all due respect, provide an experience that is so intense and all-encompassing that it is like getting hit in the head with a hammer. (In a good way) It's not something I'd throw at a virgin unused to dealing with the after-effects of sex.

Again, just my opinion.

Laurentius, your post may be based solely on your opinion, but your opinions are often well-thought out and logical.

Brittany, I hope you appreciate the outside perspectives of these fine people. I would like to add something as well. Even more important than the fact that the fault lies completely on the clients is the fact that there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. I suppose the only thing you could do in the future is politely decline to see clients who confess this to you in advance.
This is not to say, of course, that I don't understand where you're coming from. It's all well and good for me to tell you not to feel bad....but I would imagine I would feel bad if I were in your shoes. Let's face it: We like to make our guys happy! I suppose we'll just have to console ourselves with the knowledge that we make 'em happy most of the time.

God,

Protect me from your devout followers

Rogue Gent, amen to that!