As for cheating, most women can get over the "act"...it's the lies/deception that it is hardest to forgive.
Originally Posted by Nicole Preston
I don't presume to judge a person in this regard, since I don't have to live that person's life. I suspect that cheating falls into two categories: (1) Those who are in a sexless relationship, who choose to remain married for some reason that they can reconcile with their desire to have sex occasionaly and; (2) Those who simply want to have sex with many women, despite a perfectly adequate sex life at home.
I understand the actions of the first category, because divorce may be a detriment to both the husband and wife. But, the wife is being a little unreasonable if she is not having sex with her husband who desires it
and she expects her husband to remain celibate. I don't really understand the second category, probably because I'm not wired that way. In any case, the decision to stray is a personal one which primarily affects the person straying, in struggling with his choice, so I try to not make any general judgment about that sort of thing. I have not been in a situation where I had to make such a decision, so I can't really judge those who have, based on only cheating vs. not cheating.
Personal opinion, cheating is a selfish act.
At the very lowest level, all actions are selfish. That is why you never see an athiest martyr. Martyrs martyr themselves for the rewards they perceive their martyrdom will gain them in the afterlife for being an heroic person in this one. Ultimately, martyrs are the ultimate egotists. Altruists are altruists because their acts of altruism fulfill a personal need that their altruism satisfies. Selfishness which accomplishes socially acceptable goals are simply more socially acceptable than selfishness which tends to benefit only the actor and possibly a few cronies.