Your Thoughts on a Hobbyist/Provider Dating?

TexasGator's Avatar




You won't catch me doing it - not once, I tell you!
Htowner's Avatar


- not once, ....! Originally Posted by TexasGator
The gist , I tell you.
ThatManFromTexas's Avatar

Oh you cant so I want to continue my job, then you get jealous/vindictive what have you and then get mad and want to ruin my rep.. ??
Originally Posted by Jaleh
Now THAT sounds like a real relationship...


Ive had a guy hit me with the "L" word ...
Originally Posted by Jaleh
I LOVED THAT SHOW...
Jusanotherdude's Avatar
Anything is possible. Providers are people just like anyone else. They live, they love, and they can be very caring souls. Originally Posted by Guilty Pleasures

Now don't get anyone wrong, or take anything that anyone is saying in a bad way.

Fact of the matter is, that people get all fucked up (for the most part) when you bring the erotic world into the mix of things. For most people (both male and female) this things tend to strike down to the very core of a person and have the abiltiy to drive one completely MAD!! As said before, it takes a special type of person who can handle the continuation of the hobby/providing world once a relationship is established, and it is a difficult world to completely cut ties with on the flip side.

Very difficult, and like I said before.... the odds are just heavily stacked against it.

Best of Luck.

JaD
proper's Avatar
doomed to fail because the foundation itself is very shaky to start with.
Brooke Wilde's Avatar
Never ever.
nightdiver's Avatar
Never ever. Originally Posted by Brooke Wild
I won't say that, because the opposite happens when I do.
caramelqtee mila's Avatar
Jaleh the key word he used was free! Because he is having feelings of Love he no longer wants to pay you. Sometimes guys use that as a ploy to get out of the compensating part of it(i've been there). Ive had clients ask to date me and immediately input a statement in there about liking for more than bcd,but also saying they can't afford to pay everytime they see me,lol. However i do know a lady who met her now husband doing this and they have been married 5 years now and very happily I might add. The thing is she is not a provider anymore and he is a cardiologist who took very good care of her while she was in school prior to their marriage. They occasionally swing too so for them it worked out great! All the guys i've ever heard try say it was a no go. if you are seeing someone you have feelings for and he does too then be open,honest and see for yourself how it goes. Only you know what works for you!xoxo
ThatManFromTexas's Avatar

Guilty Pleasure, I agree with you with we do have sould and longed to be loved and cared for just like anyone else. Just because we are providers doesnt mean we are exepmt from this. I think it just makes it a bit harder to date, maybe we close off that part of our life if not really interested.

Babydollsnow these are the common things Ive ran across. Im not interested in dating a hobbyist, rather dating at all for that fact but its been brought to my attention on more than one occasion and seems to be something I am struggling with. I value a long term and meaningful relationship still NSA, but if we met in the hobby, thats a bit awkard for me. Ive had a guy hit me with the "L" word and want to become exclusive, see me for extended amounts of time for free and etc simply because hes develpoed feelings. I honestly am lost when it comes to this and I just want to end our friendship all together. I dont see how it can work, Are you going to stop seeing ladies? And you want me to retire, too... So are you going to take car of me persae. Oh you cant so I want to continue my job, then you get jealous/vindictive what have you and then get mad and want to ruin my rep.. but you "L" word me??

Quote from a friend: A common problem with a 'relationship' that starts as a hobbyist/escort relationship. The ladies want to continue to be taken care of, the guys don't want to pay because, after all, you are BF/GF.

Another is the guy wants you to 'retire'... Find another way to make a living, but not as an escort. Oh, he can't take care of both of you, or all of you if he is married.


This tpye of relationship can work, anything is possible but my motto is an understanding is the BEST thing in the world. Originally Posted by Jaleh
Did he say the "L" word ... before or after sex ...
Been there, done that, got the shirt.....

It did not work out well. Too much baggage and problems to deal with. Originally Posted by texasjohn1965
Same here.

It was fun (VERY fun) while it lasted, but eventually, reality rears it's ugly head and real life steps into the picture.

Ask yourself a question ... are you going to be able to deal with her "profession" day in and day out without it becoming a problem? It wasn't a big deal for me, as we met in the hobby and I understood the "life" that we both led.

Here's another kicker ... is she going to be able to live with the fact that you seem to be OK with her being a provider? That one threw me for a loop.



Hobbyist/Provider relationships are fun and can actually last if both people try, but don't be surprised if it turns out to be a very short affair.

Good luck. Originally Posted by john353
Epic fail... Originally Posted by Wakeup
Like others, bad mistake all the way around. Broken dolls... a truism if ever there was one.
Been there done that. It was great while it lasted, but in the end she couldn't handle a real relationship.
CivilBarrister's Avatar
ALL relationships are fraught with drama and issues - the Hobby probably more than others.

And the majority of relationships FAIL - for a zillion reasons.

I lived with a provider for almost a year. I can honestly say the 1st 6-8 months was some of the best time I have ever had with any woman. But it ended, like most relationships.

This is not a dating site and the illusions that providers give us often give a very false sense of what is going on - after all it is her JOB to make up believe the fantasy.

AND like Guilty Pleasures stated Providers are women also - it is not all fantasy, great sex, perfectly accommodating/understanding partners.

Not only is it difficult for most guys to think about his GF doing what is written in reviews - think about the days where she has had XXX sessions and is too tired or plain not in the mood for YOU!!!!! (no different from Civilian Women - except you will be thinking, damn she fucked everyone else.....why not me!)

And yea a lot of women get very jealous if you keep hobbying - the theory being its her JOB, and you are off playing around????

If you are serious, start slowly with a lot of up-front communications/boundaries/ etc.

Good luck either way.
Trey's Avatar
  • Trey
  • 08-12-2010, 09:49 PM
I say HELL no to that. This has been brought up many times not many think its a good idea. The best hobby boy friend, girl friend relationship to date is the pimp. Look how many of these girls we see then say they have a pimp. They call him the boy friend. So if you want a guy that would be cool with you being in the hobby and not get jealous of what you do get a pimp.
Its a bad bad idea... too many things to deal with. I dont for see any man 100% respecting a girl enough to marry or really treat her right if he knows that she is or was a provider. But even if the guy could get over that there would always be issues because of it. And I dont think any girl would trust a guy who used to hobby. Its just too difficult of a situation. It may be wrong but I think anyone who hobbys or provides should keep quiet about it to anyone you date.... just my opinion


Babydollsnow these are the common things Ive ran across. Im not interested in dating a hobbyist, rather dating at all for that fact but its been brought to my attention on more than one occasion and seems to be something I am struggling with. I value a long term and meaningful relationship still NSA, but if we met in the hobby, thats a bit awkard for me. Ive had a guy hit me with the "L" word and want to become exclusive, see me for extended amounts of time for free and etc simply because hes develpoed feelings. I honestly am lost when it comes to this and I just want to end our friendship all together. I dont see how it can work, Are you going to stop seeing ladies? And you want me to retire, too... So are you going to take car of me persae. Oh you cant so I want to continue my job, then you get jealous/vindictive what have you and then get mad and want to ruin my rep.. but you "L" word me??

Quote from a friend: A common problem with a 'relationship' that starts as a hobbyist/escort relationship. The ladies want to continue to be taken care of, the guys don't want to pay because, after all, you are BF/GF.

Another is the guy wants you to 'retire'... Find another way to make a living, but not as an escort. Oh, he can't take care of both of you, or all of you if he is married.


This tpye of relationship can work, anything is possible but my motto is an understanding is the BEST thing in the world. Originally Posted by Jaleh

is this guy that is saying the L word married???? if soooo leave this alone, he married seeing a provider and know whats is free, grl dont let this business get to you right now, he just dont wanna pay...never know his wife maybe of gave him shit about where his paycheck is going, and he cant really say, oh to this provider but dont worry she gonna be free once i say i love you....i could be wrong on this but i doubt it


your very pretty find a single guy that has never gave you a cent and fall in love with him....life will be easier