Tell me a joke!!!!!!!

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

Probably Hurricane Kaylen

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job! Originally Posted by SexyKaylen

ROFL now that was funny!

I thought you would babe..

A woman walks into a bar and orders a double entendre, so the bartender gives it to her.

A woman asks her husband "Do these pants make my backside look too big?" To which he replied, "No, dear. Your ass would be big no matter what you were wearing."

What do you call a naked blonde doing cartwheels ..............a burnet with bad breath !!!!!

This is one of those jokes that's better told in person.

{Joke contains forbidden subjects-- sorry guys-- CK}

Q: What did the right 60 year old tittie say to the left 60 year old tittie?

A: If we don't get some support soon people will think we're nuts!

Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock?
A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A. Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.

A Jewish daughter says, "I'm divorcing Irv. Al he ever wants is sex, sex and more sex.

My vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece when it used to be the size of a nickel."

Her mother says,"You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman,
you live in an 8 bedroom mansion,
you drive a $250,000 Ferrari,
you get $2,000 a week allowance,
you take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away...Over 45 cents?"

Now that's a Jewish mother!!!

One of my favorites

Drop dead gorgeous bartender she's serving drinks and this guy who's clearly had a few comes up to her
He says to her "I'd love to grab you and suck kiss and bite those big red lips baby"
To which she replys " man I don't want no trouble my boyfriend is the bouncer don't even try anything with me or else"
The man replys " okay okay I'm sorry" staggers off and has a few more drinks comes back " I'd love to put my face in your boobs and suck your tits hard"
She replys " once again sir my boyfriend is the bouncer come at me again ill tell him and have him throw u out"
He replys " okay I'm sorry won't happen again"
A few more drinks in he comes back " hey baby you know what I wanna do is fill your love canal with whiskey and drink it dry"
"That's it sir" she storms off to the back room where her boyfriend is sitting playing cards,
And now she repeats all that's happened
"There's a man out there who's saying he want to kiss suck and bite my lip"
Bf throws table up "what!"
"He says he wants to suck on my tits too!"
He rips off his shirt her boyfriend exposing his massive muscles,
To which she says "and he says he's gonna fill my love canal with whiskey and drink it dry"
Her bf calmly puts the table back up puts his shirt back on and goes to his games again
Girlfriend in disbelief says " well are you gonna do something"
Boyfriend calmly turns to her and says
"Any man that can drink that much whiskey must be one hell of a man"

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps
into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into
her breast. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your
heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She
replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221

A man finds a lamp while walking on the beach. He brushes sand off the lamp and suddenly a genie pops out.

The genie goes through the usual litany - thanks for freeing me, yada yada, I'll grant you one wish, anything you ask for.

The man thinks for a while and then says he has always wanted to visit Hawaii.

The genie says no problem! Two first class tickets to Hawaii coming right up, 5 star hotel accommodations, the works.

But the man interrupts the genie and explains that he has always had a fear of flying, and could the genie possibly find another way to get him to Hawaii.

Sure, says the genie. Two first class tickets on a cruise liner coming right up with all the trimmings.

But the man stops him again and explains that he also has a fear of water.

So now the genie is stumped and asks the man what he suggests if he can neither fly or sail to Hawaii.

Well says the man, what about building a bridge to Hawaii? That way he could just drive there.

Sorry, says the genie. There is just no way. The labor involved, the cost of materials, it would just be impossible. So the genie tells the man that he will just have to make another wish.

The man thinks for a while and finally says, "Well, I've always wanted to understand women. How they think, how they feel, why they do the things they do."

The genie just stares at the man. Finally, he says "So, do you want that bridge to be 1 lane or 2???"

Little Timmy went with both of his parents to a nude beach one afternoon. Seeing all the naked people walking around was a new thing for him.

Timmy saw a woman walking around with large fake breasts and asked his mom "Why does that woman have really large boobs?" To which his mother replied "Because she is rich."

Timmy then saw a man walking around wih an erection and asked his mom "What is going on with that man?" To which his mother replied "That man is very dumb."

Timmy went on his way and began to play on the beach. After dozing off for an hour Timmy's mom couldn't find her husband. She called out to Timmy and asked where his dad was, to which Timmy responded "Dad was over talking to a very rich lady, and the more they talked the dumber he got!"