Wife threatens to "out" Husband

Well all these analogies are good in a conventional sense. If they don't get divorced and decide to remain married, I see something different happening. I think she'll agree to try a threesome with his escort. From there they'll engage in the swinging lifestyle and he may even pimp her on the side. Being that deviations in their sexual practices harmed their marriage. Deviations in their sexual practices as a married couple will bring it back into sync again.

I would suggest a period of marriage/family counseling. A lack of intimacy always stems from a lack of emotional connection in a marriage. Divorce should be a last resort only after all other options have been exhausted! Originally Posted by Casanova69

Both have to want counseling and you only get out of it what you put into it. You have to be ready to dig deep and put it all out on the table and most are not willing to do that.

First of all why does the wife want to stay married? Is it because she does not want the shame of a divorce or is she worried that she will no longer live a financially stable lifestyle?

Wife finds out husband has been using escorts (his best friend was only "trying to help " when he told on him whom is no longer a bf lol)
She refuses to be intimate with him and has for a long time, yet if he discusses divorce she threatens to tell EVERYONE he has seen escorts-family, friends etc.

Long time marriage, 3 kids etc. I can't imagine someone wanting to do damage like that to keep from getting a divorce at the same time I cant imagine someone staying in such a miserable marriage, him or her.

Advise? What would you do? Originally Posted by Sweet N Little

First of all why does the wife want to stay married? Is it because she does not want the shame of a divorce or is she worried that she will no longer live a financially stable lifestyle? Originally Posted by mikkifine

both of those are true milki,
He describes it as she got what she wanted , A husband, kids, financial stability the so called dream lol and wants to keep it for what mainly sounds like keeping up with the Jones's and outward appearances. ....Wants everyone to think she has the perfect life and a divorce would change all that.
He said, she said "if you try to divorce me I will expose your being with prostitutes to everyone"

In this situation things will not improve with time, just get worse. When kids are involved it is much better to end it and stop all the harm that can happen to them if the two stay together. It is never better to stay together solely for the kids sake. Not good for anyone.

In this situation things will not improve with time, just get worse. When kids are involved it is much better to end it and stop all the harm that can happen to them if the two stay together. It is never better to stay together solely for the kids sake. Not good for anyone. Originally Posted by elgato111

I agree. It does the children no favors by carrying on this way.

I agree as well about the kids , I guess he could say she was a sex therapist he was seeing to try to improve there marriage since she has refused him sexual intimacy for years LOL.

First of all why does the wife want to stay married? Is it because she does not want the shame of a divorce or is she worried that she will no longer live a financially stable lifestyle? Originally Posted by mikkifine

Maybe she is opposed to the idea of obtaining a divorce for moral/religious issues.

I agree as well about the kids , I guess he could say she was a sex therapist he was seeing to try to improve there marriage since she has refused him sexual intimacy for years LOL. Originally Posted by Sweet N Little

Here's a novel idea. Why don't you suggest they get divorced. Then, you could marry this fellow. He would receive a hot wife and you would receive some stability so you won't have to do what you do for a living. I crack myself up!!

I'm going to take a counter POV. Let me get the facts straight before I go off shooting my big mouth. 1) Dude boinks provider(s) 2) Wife finds out 3) Wife doesn't want a divorce but guy does. Why would the guy want a divorce? Only piece of missing info is this; has the wife demanded that he stop seeing providers?

For the most part, this guy should consider himself one of the luckiest guys on the planet. Wife knows about the prostitutes, AND she doesn't want a divorce nor has she CUT off his balls. If the wife doesn't want the divorce, the simple answer is stay. Divorces are ugly. They split families and friends. Given this is a small town, that only exacerbates things. Divorces are always a financial drain for all parties. I'm no therapist here, but it sounds like both parties have issues and most likely they are unwilling to do anything about it. To me, the status quo makes most sense. If she wants to keep up appearances, fine; don't divorce. On the other hand, he has to get something out of the deal. If she is unwilling to be intimate, then hubby dearest should be allowed to play (if done discretely). Finally, they just need to stop the fighting. Obviously, there is something deeper down (other than seeing providers) that has led to hostility. They just need to be civil with each other while kids are in the house. BTW, if the best friend knew, then word will get out anyway.

I'm going to take a counter POV. Let me get the facts straight before I go off shooting my big mouth. 1) Dude boinks provider(s) 2) Wife finds out 3) Wife doesn't want a divorce but guy does. Why would the guy want a divorce? Only piece of missing info is this; has the wife demanded that he stop seeing providers?

For the most part, this guy should consider himself one of the luckiest guys on the planet. Wife knows about the prostitutes, AND she doesn't want a divorce nor has she CUT off his balls. If the wife doesn't want the divorce, the simple answer is stay. Divorces are ugly. They split families and friends. Given this is a small town, that only exacerbates things. Divorces are always a financial drain for all parties. I'm no therapist here, but it sounds like both parties have issues and most likely they are unwilling to do anything about it. To me, the status quo makes most sense. If she wants to keep up appearances, fine; don't divorce. On the other hand, he has to get something out of the deal. If she is unwilling to be intimate, then hubby dearest should be allowed to play (if done discretely). Finally, they just need to stop the fighting. Obviously, there is something deeper down (other than seeing providers) that has led to hostility. They just need to be civil with each other while kids are in the house. BTW, if the best friend knew, then word will get out anyway. Originally Posted by Cpalmson

All good points. Again, if there is a lack of intimacy in their relationship, there is usually a deeper reason. They both need to be honest with each other and seek help. It isn't easy, but if they both want to, they will salvage their relationship.

when are these women going to learn if you dont fuck your husband i will!!!

Here's a novel idea. Why don't you suggest they get divorced. Then, you could marry this fellow. He would receive a hot wife and you would receive some stability so you won't have to do what you do for a living. I crack myself up!! Originally Posted by Casanova69

Not in a million years my dear!! I have stability , I happened to have stumbled on something I love to do anyway and to get paid for it? Well... what a country!!


CPalm, Yes he does want a divorce because they no longer love each other and are in a sexless marriage
In fact they way he talks he almost hates her.

It sounds like his "ex best friend" wants in his wife's pants. If he knew and it is a small town, it is likely everyone already knows.

He has to decide if he wants to stay the way things are or go. I wouldn't suggest he stay solely because of fear of being outed since it is probably out already. It sounds like his wife is keeping him around to punish him for being such a bad boy.

Damn. That sucks.

Umm get an attorney. There are ways to shut up an ex or future ex legally thru the court system. They can prevent derogatory statements from being told to the children if they are minors. I had it done with my ex and his family.

Should be a lesson to the married guys, you take this risk while playing and could lose everything so you need to CYA! I for one do not feel sorry for the guy, he made his bed now lay in it. He should have never shared this part of his life with his buddy or anyone in his personal life. I sure as hell wouldnt tell anyone.