Can women sense it? Really?

I have to chime in here.. I have been on a MISSION for 7 years to verbally tell me wife that to me she is HOT I tell her she has a beautiful ass and body all the time even when we are out in public. I tell her that in my eyes she makes me smolder in my shorts.. And yet to no avail.. I have even told her that I need more passion and romance in our life. As well as telling her I need more touching..
I am a very touchy person and touch her constantly which she tells me she enjoys but after years of telling her that I need that touch too it still does not translate to anything than a very occasional backrub... IF I ASK..
I love my wife but the passion is gone and I have worked like a dog to get it back... She LOVES her work and wants to be a millionaire when she retires. I on the other hand Love the people in my life that give it meaning and want to die pennyless..
Anyone have any advise for me???
!!~~FRUSTRATED IN NY~~!!

sorry know the above post it a bit of topic but I too think that she senses that I am straying and really does not mind as long as it doesnt interfere with her plans or our relationship??????

Same advice I would give to anyone in that situation...don't stay if you're unhappy. If all she is concerned about is money, it's not going to work at the cost of her family.

I have to chime in here.. I have been on a MISSION for 7 years to verbally tell me wife that to me she is HOT I tell her she has a beautiful ass and body all the time even when we are out in public. I tell her that in my eyes she makes me smolder in my shorts.. And yet to no avail.. I have even told her that I need more passion and romance in our life. As well as telling her I need more touching..
I am a very touchy person and touch her constantly which she tells me she enjoys but after years of telling her that I need that touch too it still does not translate to anything than a very occasional backrub... IF I ASK..
I love my wife but the passion is gone and I have worked like a dog to get it back... She LOVES her work and wants to be a millionaire when she retires. I on the other hand Love the people in my life that give it meaning and want to die pennyless..
Anyone have any advise for me???
!!~~FRUSTRATED IN NY~~!! Originally Posted by NIgel007

My advice will seem harsh: cut her off. If you are feeling continuously rejected (and rejection is one of the strongest emotions there is--it's why shunning works so well), then you should do the same. Reject her. Stop telling her she is hot. Stop touching her. Ignore her.

What will that get you? Probably nothing. But at least you won't be as frustrated. You've been investing w/o results. Invest that effort in some of the escorts in your neighborhood. There are some beautiful ones. (Maybe you'll even begin to swagger, lol.)

She'll notice, sure. If she doesn't mention it, you're home free. If she does, it's an awkward conversation, but you can at least tell her that you concluded the attention and touching didn't matter to her because there were no tangible results. If she changes, you've met your goal. If not, then you know she was never interested in the first place and you can move on.

Remember, some guys out there develop regulars because of this kind of passionless marriage. But for the area in which I live, I would be in that situation. But I don't have the ability to develop a regular.

Good luck.

I wonder how many, who say they love their wives and want tgem to cone around, if their wives started to come around that they would cut off the hobby?

I wonder how many, who say they love their wives and want tgem to cone around, if their wives started to come around that they would cut off the hobby? Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

If she really came around she'd join me!!!

I wonder how many, who say they love their wives and want tgem to cone around, if their wives started to come around that they would cut off the hobby? Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

I don't think there would be enough to do a statistical measurement. Women are notoriously hard headed. I don't think they come around very easily.

Edit: double post... Sorry

Charlse- I agree there wouldn't be enough but you know as well I do that men are just as hard headed. The fact that mist if not all men would not leave the hobby if they finally got what they desired from their wives proves it. What if the wife was getting help with her issues without the man knowing and she finally resolves her issues then he just basically said that it didn't matter.

My advice will seem harsh: cut her off. If you are feeling continuously rejected (and rejection is one of the strongest emotions there is--it's why shunning works so well), then you should do the same. Reject her. Stop telling her she is hot. Stop touching her. Ignore her.

What will that get you? Probably nothing. But at least you won't be as frustrated. You've been investing w/o results. Invest that effort in some of the escorts in your neighborhood. There are some beautiful ones. (Maybe you'll even begin to swagger, lol.)

She'll notice, sure. If she doesn't mention it, you're home free. If she does, it's an awkward conversation, but you can at least tell her that you concluded the attention and touching didn't matter to her because there were no tangible results. If she changes, you've met your goal. If not, then you know she was never interested in the first place and you can move on.

Remember, some guys out there develop regulars because of this kind of passionless marriage. But for the area in which I live, I would be in that situation. But I don't have the ability to develop a regular.

Good luck. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Every one should get out their pens and notepads and take notes. Sound advice Charles!

I also agree with London. If you're really miserable in your relationship .. why stay?

(cross-posted from the Oklahoma forums)

My wife of 12 years has been unwilling (except for the rare occasion) to participate in sexual activity with me for the past few years, citing her dissatisfaction with the way her body looks to her.

Since I started hobbying though, she has suddenly performed a 180, and now can't seem to keep her hands off of me. At work, I find female co-workers overtly flirting with me considerably more than in the past.

Do women have an innate ability to know when you're sexually active, resulting in them wanting a piece of the action?

This is fascinating to me...maybe it's complete coincidence. I don't know...


Thoughts? Originally Posted by IDMT

This is a really great topic! (And kindof heartwarming as well! Lucky you!)

My first thought is, and I don't know her age, but something chemically has happened to her. She has either gone through the change and getting her mojo back or something just "clicked" and she's feeling more sexual for whatever reason.

I'm thinking that this just happened to coincide with you messing around on the side.

Also, again personal observance, men get better sexually when they're with escorts. I've seen it with my clients/friends over the years. See them one year a few times and they're fine but well, they're fine.

They see escorts for a few years and then another visit and it's like, "Holy crap"! Their game is ON.

So it could be a combination of the two. Also, Ansley is probably right as well. You're just feeling sexier and it shows.

Why don't you come to Dallas and let a few of us take a look at you? (I'm in a smiley mood this morning!)

Good luck,
Elisabeth