Boyfriend and The Business. Can you have both ?

isn't the whole point of being in a relationship with someone else is to love them enough to not want to fuck anyone else but them? Originally Posted by speeedracer

Well then, should that extend to not wanting to eat dinner with anyone else but them? Or go to the movies? Or have a conversation?

Where does the line end? Does it end (or is it more like a rope that strangles)? Should there be a line drawn between two mature adults? Isn't it just sex?

One can mask their primal instincts for a while, but eventually they will boil over. Walk away from one of them, preferably the boyfriend, because the damage has already been done. If a man is OK with his woman seeing other men then he doesn't really give a shit about her. The Harem mentality is natural for women, that is the way it evolved. Men have never thrived in harems so you are fighting the laws of nature. Primal feelings ruled by your reptilian brain will eventually surface and it will get ugly.

Well then, should that extend to not wanting to eat dinner with anyone else but them? Or go to the movies? Or have a conversation?

Where does the line end? Does it end (or is it more like a rope that strangles)? Should there be a line drawn between two mature adults? Isn't it just sex? Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

I don't know that you should equate actions that can easily be done independent of a partner with those that require a partner. Sex is the only thing in life that fits this description. Yes there is a double standard, but that was determined by evolution not man, and we can rationalize this all day, but we are bound by the laws of evolution. You will not find dining or going to the movies listed as a primal function. The reptilian brain is not civilized in any way, manner or form, it only know what it needs. A man can pretend he is OK with his women seeing other men for a time, but unless he is a sociopath he is just lying, and will face the music some day, probably in a violent eruption. If the man doesn't give a shit about the woman his reaction may be tempered.

Most of the guys who are on here are probably married or in a serious relationship. I presume a good share of them think they can have a loving primary relationship, and still have sex with other women. Qualitatively, how is that different from what we are discussing here regarding a woman in this hobby?

As some others have said, working as a sex provider will complicate things but I see no reason it can't work--could even work very well with the right two people. Especially 2 people who aren't wired to be sexually monogamous. I absolutely do not buy the idea that loving someone means you must give up the desire to be physically or emotionally intimate with anyone else.

Plus, no two people are a perfect match on either the sexual or non-sexual front. I'm married to my best friend and sex is good, but she isn't nearly as adventuresome as I am. Fortunately each of us has the other's permission to play discreetly, and potentially fill a few gaps in a wonderful relationship. I think my freedom to do so has only made my primary relationship better, and less free of resentment than might otherwise be the case, and the same for her.

Well then, should that extend to not wanting to eat dinner with anyone else but them? Or go to the movies? Or have a conversation?

Where does the line end? Does it end (or is it more like a rope that strangles)? Should there be a line drawn between two mature adults? Isn't it just sex? Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

dude, that's comparing apples to oranges...

For the ladies that do have relationships & in the business.
1. Does he know?
2. Would you let him hobby?
2a. If yes. Is he/would you mind him being on the boards too?

^^^^ No, no, and no... my mother taught me to not let your boyfriend know EVERYTHING - he'll just throw it back in your face during a fight ... luckily Ive never had to face this problem as a provider...its really hard for me to have relationships and be affectionate and passionate for free - I can't even hold hands with a guy without feeling weird inside. It kinda sucks and is lonely, but it's what I choose instead of getting broken hearts.

My SO's only beef is that I work for hours a day and I'm home I'm turned off by him (he's an idiot and my lack if drooling over his dick is more of his own fault than the hobby). Other than that, he's fine. He hires hookers so he can't complain.

DG...your question #2 assumes that simply being on the board means that a guy is hobbying. I know several who participate in the board but are not hobbying. Either they are retired completely or are on a long hiatus for personal reasons. I imagine that a person like you would enjoy being on the board socially whether you are hobbying or not. But then again...your review titles would indicate that attending after parties works better for some than others, Mr. Vanity incarnate...and as long as you keep attending them, you'll probably always be a hobbyist.

For the ladies that do have relationships & in the business.
1. Does he know?
2. Would you let him hobby?
2a. If yes. Is he/would you mind him being on the boards too? Originally Posted by Dorian Gray

I have been in a relationship before which failed due to other reasons...

1. He knew.
2. I would have been open to the possibility (each relationship is different, so that's not a blanket statement)
3. I encouraged him to navigate the board but it never interested him.

Now...

1. I can not imagine hiding my profession from an SO.
2. Case by case basis.
3. I would be okay with him being on the board.

In any case...it takes a special person and solid and open relationship to make it work.

One word....imfuckingpossible

One word....imfuckingpossible Originally Posted by jamiejo

+1

the question is ... how many/what percentage of these "open" relationships (her being a provider) stand the test of time?

quote---In any case...it takes a special person and solid and open relationship to make it work.

AMEN!!

Well, anything is possible but it's highly, highly unlikely to work for very long.
Sure, it may work for a while, but the normal hurdles that any relationship encounters will collapse that house of cards.

For you, it's a case of wanting to have your cake and eat it too. You want the security of a relationship and your lifestyle, but your lifestyle works completely against earning or deserving it.
It worries some men for their lady to drive to work in bad weather, I can't even imagine what it would feel like knowing your lady is going to meet complete strangers behind closed doors. "Oh hey honey, how was your day?"

About the only one you can have is with a shell of a man, who has little to no self esteem, no employable skills or talents and you support him financially. He has no choice but to surrender to this "open" relationship.
If you find someone who is accepting of it, he is probably missing a few parts in his brain that may leave him deficient in other elements of human qualities as well.

Well, anything is possible but it's highly, highly unlikely to work for very long.
Sure, it may work for a while, but the normal hurdles that any relationship encounters will collapse that house of cards.

For you, it's a case of wanting to have your cake and eat it too. You want the security of a relationship and your lifestyle, but your lifestyle works completely against earning or deserving it.
It worries some men for their lady to drive to work in bad weather, I can't even imagine what it would feel like knowing your lady is going to meet complete strangers behind closed doors. "Oh hey honey, how was your day?"

About the only one you can have is with a shell of a man, who has little to no self esteem, no employable skills or talents and you support him financially. He has no choice but to surrender to this "open" relationship.
If you find someone who is accepting of it, he is probably missing a few parts in his brain that may leave him deficient in other elements of human qualities as well. Originally Posted by TheWanderer

i.e pimp? Where do we draw that line?? I mean, he's going to be benefitting from the $$ too - especially as it rolls in fast. Not going to go there - but ...nope, not going there.