NSNC two way street

Chevalier's Avatar
Now I am not talking about some calling an hour ahead of time to cancel. This is going to happen and everyone should accept that. Originally Posted by ControlFreak
I don't see things as quite as black and white as some. Personally, I think sometimes a NCNS is excusable . . . and sometimes a cancellation an hour in advance is not.

Excusable NCNS:

I give an email address but not cellphone # to the lady (because a phone call while I'm at work can attract too much unwanted attention) and she's somewhere she doesn't have access to a computer.

A couple of very reputable ladies have overslept, not because they were unprofessional but under abnormal circumstances where it was understandable. If she's sleeping, she can't call in advance. But both were very contrite in their apologies and offered discounts of 1/3 or 100% on the next session. [If you want their names, Sophie and Caitie Mae.]

One lady NCNS'd me because she accidentally wrote the wrong date down in her schedule. She didn't realize she'd NCNS'd me until later. Again, very contrite and insisted on no charge for the next session. [If you want her name, Nicole Sanders.]

The above, to me, would not indicate a lack of integrity. At most, not being as careful as they might have been and not necessarily even that. [On the other hand, Rebecca, Casey (Texas Tiger), Madison Taylor, perhaps Dayin Park . . .]

Inexcusable cancellations:

If I don't like studios or AMPs, and I can't easily schedule on short notice with the ladies I like to see, even a cancellation an hour in advance will screw up my window of opportunity. If a lady cancels without any explanation or any signs of being sorry, or gives one of those fake-sounding explanations . . . that gives me the impression that she doesn't respect my time or schedule and just blew me off. Or if she gives an explanation that should have allowed her to let me know not an hour in advance but one or two days in advance . . . I would consider that irresponsible.

Either of those, to me, would indicate a lack of integrity.

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I think you can report no shows on any site. There's nothing really stopping us, is there? It wouldn't be a perfect system, because the nuances that tell the rest of the story aren't always presented (particularly if we hear from only one side) and some instances will reflect honest misunderstandings or miscommunication. But it can be done with what we have now.

Perhaps your question is more along the lines of: "people can do it, but they don't; what can we change so that they will?" That depends on why people don't now, and there are probably lots of reasons. Some because they have thin skin and their feelings are bruised by WKs? Some because they consider the violation trivial or excusable? Some because they consider compensation received to have wiped the slate clean? Some because they think it will be blown out of proportion? Some because they just don't post much, period? Or, in the case of the ladies, because of the firestorm and possible loss of business when they post complaints about clients?

First rule of management: beware the "oughta wanna" mindset. Just because people ought to want to do something, that's not enough. You have to figure out whey they don't, and either provide a stick or a carrot to influence their behavior. At the first level, what you're talking about is a stick to influence the behavior of those who NSNC. At the second level, you have to consider a stick or carrot to influence the behavior of those who experience the NSNC and who you want to share that information somehow.

Then design the incentives so the information will be shared and the safeguards (if even feasible) against false information.
Introuble's Avatar
Is this really what we are about as a hobby? It is one thing to post a review of services rendered for a TON of money, but to simply attack and hurt people over a NSNC with unknown reason or circumstances is a little childish to me. So what if you are out a little time? So now you want revenge and have the deisire to go on the attack to let the world know of your "loss"?

Why not just remember that person and not ever see them them in the future? To post a warning is as much or more vindictive than it is informational.

FACT: A provider with a lack of "integrity" that would NSNC a client is probably not a good session anyway.

To me, you will never control the pettiness of posting NSNC reports on each other. Some provider will do it, the client posts a warning as suggested, she comes back and says her baby was sick and fell off of a 10 foot ladder and broke their neck, and then all the white knights come out of the wood work to defend her (give her the benefit of doubt) and BECAUSE you cannot prove it one way or another you have a less than civil situation. More importantly people get hurt.

I could care less about why she did it. I do not really care if she DID do did it other than it SAVED me a bunch of money. Besides, which is worse? Suffereing a NSNC or spending $250 on a bad session?

I simply curse at her while driving, move on to plan B or better yet SAVE MY MONEY for another day, and go home to plan the next hunt. I hesitate to encourage open war on providers and clients as long as their are WK's around to defend them and stir up shit for favors. Someone will most likely end up looking foolish regardless of being right or wrong.

Just let it be what it is and REMEMBER not to see her. This is a can of worms.
My comments were both observation and humor. Not really intended as a solution.

Call me jaded, but it is part of "the game". It is not going to change. That is why the guys read reviews and locker room comments and the gals have their areas to bitch about some of the worst male offenders. The worst offenders will be talked about.

For me acceptance of the NCNS problem came when I quit thinking of it as "a biz" like any other and got real about who the vendors and clients were. The best we can do is arm ourselves with information so we can make choices to provide the outcome we want.

When it comes to reporting NCNS, I only do it when the gal makes no attempt to get back with me sometime during that next week and I have tried to communicate also. If a gal has proven to be a flake with me over time, then I will let others know when they are seeking info on her, usually privately or in a men's only area.

I try and return the favor to the community when it comes to information. Some may not care for the manner in which I do it sometimes. They are entitled to their opinion. I just hope the information is valuable to someone else.

The rest of this noise being written about has nothing to do with a no-call/no-show, IMO.

chipper's Avatar
I think public floggings would be more appropriate.
Kelly TNT's Avatar
I think the men should have to wear this for a day! That's your punishment!!



~Kelly TNT
And the women should have to make an outcall to the guy's place:

  • YSD
  • 06-25-2009, 01:16 PM
So many comments and so many diverse opinions---totaly cool!! LonesomeDove, FatManHobbyist, Introuble, KellyTNT all have differing views and I have enjoyed the reading.

My take is that NCNS is unacceptable by either party BUT we should all (providers and hobbyists alike) adhere to the rule of 48. Let it simmer down for awhile before reacting at all. This cool down time often sees the scenario playout best. This way the provider can explain her side and the hobbyist could make a wiser decision on how to react. As Chevalier said, there ARE legitimate times for NCNS such as wrong date in calendar, kid sick etc... the cooling off time let's this come to the surface and solve itself.It strips the emotion out if you will.

On another thread and perhaps another board, I related that one of the better sessions I had, came after a NCNS whereby the provider offered me a free session which I parlayed into a pay for one hour but get two. Session was fantastic and the memories to this day are good. And to clarify, the provider was legitimately sick and she more than made up for it.

So rule of 48 before emotions get out of control.

And for providers I think the same should apply. Before smacking the guy over the head see how it plays out. If it is a pattern or if the hobbyist was screwing with your valuable time, after the 48 hours you ladies should post his info as well (wherever that might be). What's good for the goose has to be good for the gander.