To all the married men that hobby

JM and PF say it well.

Sometime it just may not be anything that the SO can do that will rectify this situation. May not be in their hands but at a young age you may think that you can overcome anything and have solution for these marital problems. Aging is a bitch - more so for women than men.

I wonder how many women have said that or thought that before they got married? Nearly every single male friend I have or have ever had that was married more than ten years has the same complaint about their wife. No more BJs, wife has no real interest in sex, when they do get sex five or six times a year the wife acts like she is doing the husband a favor.

Before marriage women have sex with their boyfriend because they like the sex and because they know it makes the boyfriend happy. The whole story changes after a few years of marriage. They no longer want to have sex, sex is not fun for them, and they don't care if their husband is happy or not. Just my experience from my own marriages and from what I have been told by 95% of my married friends.

Also well over 75% of the wives of my married friends are obese.

That's why married men hobby. Originally Posted by JohnMacnab

Hmmm I'll be simplistic about it.
I am in my late 40s, my SO is in her 50s, most providers I see are in her early 20s and I seek variety. Why I hobby? because I like to live my fantasies. Get the picture?


It is not about making him happy, it is about keeping him interested, and giving him good sex may not be enough, "good" sex with the same woman over and over eventually becomes ordinary sex, sorry to be straight forward about it, it is just my opinion. And it probably works the same both ways. Originally Posted by Pica Flor

For me it is my midlife crisis - I have pretty good sex at home and my wife looks great. But when I was 21 I wasn't the best looking and had no money. Now I am "distinguished" and have some cash to spare so for a few bucks I get to nail the chicks I wanted to 20 years ago with no drama or strings. And to be honest, I would have to spend more on dating to get laid, and then have to figure out how to hide an affair. No thanks. As Sheen said, "I don't pay them to come, I pay them to leave."

Most men are just dogs.

Me on the other hand.........

Im not judging anyone im plainely stating an observation. Im not really asking why u guys hobby but its when men say they love their wives but yet they can hobby? But still love their wives, isnt that kinda polar opposites? Originally Posted by Harmony<3

Very simple, men can separate love from sex. We don't have to be in love with a woman to enjoy sex with them, conversly we can still love a woman even though there is no sex or very little sex.

And to take it further. Some men are capable of loving more than one woman at the same time. Do a Google search for the word POLYAMORY.

I think you should seek to change your perspectisve on relationships. Being a tomboy, and having almost more brothers than I have fingers, I have never been they type of lady where fidelity was my biggest worry in a relationship. Although I'm not a cheater, I just don't care what goes on behind my back. It's a sure way to get a headache. Going through phones, email, and Facebook accounts to make sure he's not cheating on you is only a sure way to get your feelings hurt.

It's the other attributes that matter. You find a man that values your opinion, and not trying to compete with you for the 'crown' of BOSS in a relationship, you hold on to him. You find a man that you don't have to pacify and make FEEL like a man because he IS the man, hold on to him. You find a man who genuinely loves you, caring about what you feel and think, and is not just looking for help with bills and at-home sex, you hold on to him. He's human. Fidelity is a religious concept.

I would rather a man hire a prossie any day than try to go to a bar, pick up some random chick because he's trying to see if he's 'still got it'. Think about it. We take care of business and send him HOME. Probably with a little advice to make his home life better. The crazy chick who had a one night stand with him after too many drinks, and a bad breakup is going to text his phone constantly, and send requests to add him as a Friend, and have him on his laptop in another room giving him cam shows. The way I look at it, we're a wife's helper .

I encourage you to open your mind and heart during your appointments. Without thought, and over time, you can develop a negative attitude toward men, and the thought of committing to a person. Seeing the humanity in what we do will help you be a better companion, girlfriend, and/or wife.

All the best to you!

Women look at sex as truly emotional. Originally Posted by datyking

.. or obligatory.

I encourage you to open your mind and heart during your appointments. Without thought, and over time, you can develop a negative attitude toward men, and the thought of committing to a person. Seeing the humanity in what we do will help you be a better companion, girlfriend, and/or wife.
Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

Well said Tiff!!!
The whole post, not just what's quoted.

And to the OP, not ALL men cheat.
I've been pretty promiscuous most of my life, but never cheated in a committed relationship.
As long as you take care of business in the bedroom and stay fit and interesting/interested, the man you marry may never have a reason to stray.
Just realize, that if he does, it may have nothing to do with you or how he feels about you and you'll be fine.

Hmm points well taken

Most men are just dogs.

Me on the other hand.........I'm a Pussy. Originally Posted by boardman

Fixed it for ya

T&T, apparently she believes that the "oldest profession" known to MANkind serves guys who cannot find anyone else that will "service" them.....or ...

this is just another "threadAD" to drum up more than one review. Originally Posted by LexusLover

This may b a new handle.on eccie and it may show me as a new member.but please dont get constrewed, ive be en on this site a while and have over 35 great reviews, i dnt even advertise with eccie on the weekend/week line up, so sumebody PLEASE tell me what this.guy is talking about :-) id surely love to know.....lexuslover i have a fine rep on thid site is just most of u dnt know my old handle

Fixed it for ya Originally Posted by Big Joe

Lmao, i <3 b.m. :-p

I'll go ahead and throw my 2 cents from a woman's side (or just my own experience)

I was married for about 6 yrs...(we met when I was 19).
I was a dancer and pretty sexually enlightened even for such a young age. I also thought I could keep my man happy with 3-somes and wild ass sex, but it was ME that became bored.

Our sex life diminished towards the last couple of years and there was no romance or even foreplay. I knew he was in the mood when he came behind and pulled at my belt loops. (yep that was the signal). SO I ended up cheating, on a couple of occasions. I needed to feel desirable and not like "a hole" to fill the need. (Granted I HAVE to have sex at least 3-4x a week just to stay sane). But once you feel taken for granted, there is little that can be done if the partner refuses to change. (Yes I did talk to him beforehand about how I felt).

Now, I'd rather have the pleasure of having the fun and desire for hr(s) at a time then knowing I have no obligation to them beyond that...

I agree whole heartedly with Tiffany. I like the thought that I helped a man fulfill his needs or desires yet he can go home and still kiss the wife and deal with the relationship issues. I'm a friend, confidant, therapist, whatever name you want to attach to what we do.

You will find (with age) that not everything is black and white. There will always be grey areas. And the things we THINK will/would never happen always comes back to surprise you.

I never thought I would cheat, but I did. Didn't mean I loved my husband any less. (Still do). I just needed to get what I NEEDED too.

Once again, just my 2 cents and my observation from my own marriage.

Genesis Nicole

And I'm being REAL general here and INTENTIONALLY making a blanket statement that may not be everyone's case, but the reason you guys are having these issues with your wives and girlfriends is because of the traditional relationship mess. It means that there are certain things that you won't share with her for fear of judgement. Then some of you are not marriage material, or really are loners, and only get married because of your families. Marriage is a contract, and not a guarantee of happiness. But for women, it's supposed to be. You're supposed to be a provider. And you're not into kinky sex, nor do you have any thoughts about it. You forsake all others, and only have eyes for her.

Women are more intuitive than you give them credit for being. You are more transparent than you know. Really, it's a rather depressing state of affairs for her. I'm not saying she's depressed and that's why things go downhill, but just that tradition sets expectation that humanity just doesn't live up to. Here are a couple examples:

You get married early. She's mentally ready to give herself to you. At 22, you are not. You cheat, hurt her feelings, etc. due to lack of maturity, you argue, break up, then you're back together. Repeat this pattern for a few more years, and by the time you're both 30, you've matured and ready to settle down, and she is sick of your ass. After you screwed your whore of a neighbor, although she forgave you, you didn't notice she stopped giving you BJ's. And the only time she doesn't elbow you for the 1am pole-poke is on your birthday. Where are you going to get your satisfaction?

You're not the lovey-dovey type. Really, you just want to be left alone. When you get home, you just want to surf the net, watch the game, play Call of Duty, eat and go to bed. She's saying something to you about her day, how the lady down the street said something smart. Whatever it is, you wish she'd shut up. She used to dress up in the cute lingerie, and parade around the house, and in front of the TV (while the fucking game is on. Damn woman!) and try to distract you from COD with a massage and kisses on your neck, but that's stopped. Now after 20 years, you're horny and she's on strike. What're you gonna do?

Trust me, the wives have it way worse than we do. They're crossed between loving your dirty drawers and being too hurt to care like she used to. Like most people, we're only aware of how people treat us. We don't consider what we did to make it that way. You did something, you don't think she knows, and she does.

Harmony, it's a rarity for a man to find a woman he can be totally honest with about who he is, what he wants, and his intentions. We are their confidantes. They may not talk about childhood mommy issues, or things like that, but they need the time they share with us. Take that into consideration when you meet someone. Being the thing that's missing.

Ps. Sry for any mistypes, im on my droid and dnt feel like editing any posts tht have errors

I'll go ahead and throw my 2 cents from a woman's side (or just my own experience)

I was married for about 6 yrs...(we met when I was 19).
I was a dancer and pretty sexually enlightened even for such a young age. I also thought I could keep my man happy with 3-somes and wild ass sex, but it was ME that became bored.

Our sex life diminished towards the last couple of years and there was no romance or even foreplay. I knew he was in the mood when he came behind and pulled at my belt loops. (yep that was the signal). SO I ended up cheating, on a couple of occasions. I needed to feel desirable and not like "a hole" to fill the need. (Granted I HAVE to have sex at least 3-4x a week just to stay sane). But once you feel taken for granted, there is little that can be done if the partner refuses to change. (Yes I did talk to him beforehand about how I felt).

Now, I'd rather have the pleasure of having the fun and desire for hr(s) at a time then knowing I have no obligation to them beyond that...

I agree whole heartedly with Tiffany. I like the thought that I helped a man fulfill his needs or desires yet he can go home and still kiss the wife and deal with the relationship issues. I'm a friend, confidant, therapist, whatever name you want to attach to what we do.

You will find (with age) that not everything is black and white. There will always be grey areas. And the things we THINK will/would never happen always comes back to surprise you.

I never thought I would cheat, but I did. Didn't mean I loved my husband any less. (Still do). I just needed to get what I NEEDED too.







Once again, just my 2 cents and my observation from my own marriage.

Genesis Nicole Originally Posted by GenesisNicole

Thanks for ur imput hun