Do you ever feel judged by people for your fetish ?

I don't know about judeged but definitely always false assumptions. I like strap on play and TS ladies. That doesn't mean I want to be a bitch or sissy or whatever. I can like it in the ass and still be a man

I have some very extreme fetishes but for the most part i'm discreet because i have a vanilla job. This is a great thread btw.

My fetish is "out there" but I'm surprised.....about as many agreeable women as unagreeable. Split about 50-50. Raise your freak flag high

I have a big fetish about wanting to try deep rimming on a lady. I havent done DATO in probably 25 yrs but remember I totally loved it.

So, with my next date, I was very selective and got good input from others. I selected a nice gal whos pics really excite me. Im anxious to try TUHA, but will be conservative and safe and do it with a dental dam. Might just actually help me want to do deeper so Im going to try it.

I do feel that people judge, well, because they do. I have several I wouldn't want to share, and one would be very simple and easy to pull off but I have found that most providers just aren't into it.

Great thread Zena. I have many fetishes that I must keep discreet unfortunately. I enjoy seeing a pro Domme regularly and we are able to explore so many fantasies that the vanilla world just doesn't understand and prejudges all the time.

Typically at an open kink event like a BDSM party or munch, no not at all. In that sort of environment everyone is expected to be open minded and folks get social pressure to be open and non judgmental. But in this place or any sort of place where Kink/fetish/BDSM is not necessarily the norm, many people are judgmental, and openly discussing your kinks can cause problems. A hobbyist or a provider can get an undeserved reputation that might make using this site more difficult. If a provider were to openly discuss her kinks she might get "typecast" to a particular type of hobbyist, and if I were to talk openly about all of my kinks in this forum, I'm sure that would make many providers hesitate to meet with me, even if none of those kinks are on our particular agenda. I've found it to be a slow dance of figuring out who you can safely discuss such things with and who might be offended or indiscreet.

tho oldRichWhiteHuy posted it last “... if I were to talk openly about all of my kinks in this forum ...”, i’ve read several variations on that in prior posts here.

so here is my offer - if you have a kink or activity that you enjoy doing or would like to do -and- you dont think you can post it here (for whatever reason), you can send me a pvtmsg w/ a description or story. after a week or so, i’ll paraphrase the items and post them. I SWEAR NOT TO ADD ANY ATTRIBUTION TO THE SENDER. i hereby cross my heart and swear to shrivel up and die if i violate that sworn oath.

hope you have a delitefully kinky week & weekend!!


btw, i dont have any unfulfilled kinks. tho i have a few roleplays i havent done, yet!! :^}

I do worry about what providers think so I tend to restrain what I ask for and stay pretty vanilla with my sessions. Originally Posted by starway

Ditto. Though, I will say there have been a couple of providers that I've thrown some darker things out there to and they've reciprocated their own interest. Those sessions were GREAT.

I'm not worried but I don't always share. Not every session is a freaky sex session.

As a person of color, I was / am judged by others from the day I was born until the day I die......


As a dominant male, as soon as I try to bring up the subject, most providers "ghost" faster than you can say the word....


I've only met 2-3 providers in the US in the past 20+ years that were OK with how I am...


The most judgmental? ECCIE providers. But most are high volume, so I sound like a whole lotta extra work for what? (Donation amount has never been a barrier to me. I believe you get the value that you pay for, some of the time.)



The least judgemental / really into being sub? Providers in Europe and Montreal! And with the Euro and CAD running at record lows compared to the USD, a bargain!


Just my $0.02....

As a swinger (single unicorn, never in a committed lifestyle relationship) I get judged by both sides of the spectrum. It upsets me only when it’s someone I care about judging me. I have very specific reasons for being into the scene and derive a very specific reward from my interactions. Both of which are personal and I don’t feel like I should have to justify.

I have a big fetish about wanting to try deep rimming on a lady. I havent done DATO in probably 25 yrs but remember I totally loved it.

So, with my next date, I was very selective and got good input from others. I selected a nice gal whos pics really excite me. Im anxious to try TUHA, but will be conservative and safe and do it with a dental dam. Might just actually help me want to do deeper so Im going to try it. Originally Posted by MrNyceGuy

I love TUMA! Your fetish is NOT out there at all. DATO is awesome! I hope you visit Dallas some day!

I am certainly descriminated every day for being an escort. My best friends dropped me and I’m very isolated to this day. No wonder I may be having to quit my beloved current profession to marry my favorite client.

I think we are judged for everything, in some way. Too vanilla, too extreme. Judged for being in the hobby. Fetishes, at least this is a place where you can explore them, and often taints the civvie type life. But even here, yes, plenty of judgement, disagreement, shock, avoidance, etc at whatever freaky stuff turns you on.

At least here you can search, and do some quiet reaching out, to those that might be compatible, or even more wild than you are.

I think we are judged for everything, in some way. Too vanilla, too extreme. Judged for being in the hobby. Fetishes, at least this is a place where you can explore them, and often taints the civvie type life. But even here, yes, plenty of judgement, disagreement, shock, avoidance, etc at whatever freaky stuff turns you on.

At least here you can search, and do some quiet reaching out, to those that might be compatible, or even more wild than you are. Originally Posted by FireKitten

MMMMMMMM Soft trimmed bush