Why say.....I LOVE YOU???

Reminds me of the great scene from "About Last Night".

Bernie: "Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, DAN! Who said it first?"
Danny: "I did."
Bernie: "Was it before you came or after?"

Dannie + 1
Well said.
I definitely agree being "in love with" is very different than "loving" someone.


XOXO,
Italiana Princess

Dannie + 1
Well said.
I definitely agree being "in love with" is very different than "loving" someone.


XOXO,
Italiana Princess Originally Posted by ItalianaPrincess

I agree with u as well ItalianPrincess

Dannie, I may be reading too much into the OP's statement, but I think what he was grappling with is that those three words for many people implicitly mean, "I'm in love with you". That's why folks need to be very careful with them in a hobby context.

My relationship with my SO does not require a cash payment every time we meet. The earlier poster who talked about how we pay our real-life girlfriends/wives ignored the fact that in a healthy relationship they are providing more than sex and companionship. The parties should view the other as giving as much as receiving.

The provider/client relationship OTOH is supposed to be much more straightforward. Once someone elevates the relationship (as those three words often imply), you may be working under another set of rules.

As is often the case, how the listener interpets what is said can be far different than what the speaker intended. Because those 3 words can mean so many different things they are tough to use without missunderstanding on someones part. True outside the hobby as well.

If a provider told me that, I would assume they mean they really like or think there is something special about being with me but not that they are "In Love" with me.

Use with caution!

How the hell can we love anyone?? We are just Providers...Haven't you all figured that out yet? We are machines...


If I tell someone I love them....I mean it. Does it mean that I want to steal them from their wife and run away with them? NO! It means I care about them, value them and appreciate them. I have had some of the same friends in this hobby for going on 4 years, so yeah, I love them!
While I can agree that it may be a little creepy to hear those words uttered during a hot encounter...maybe you could just take it as a compliment that she cares about you and enjoys you..why does everything have to be EVIL when it comes from women in our line of work?

One of my top ladies ever, used to occasionally say "I love you", or "my name, I love you." I might add that it was usually during screaming time, if you get me. Don't think she wanted to get married, though.

In her case, my normal 1 hour session was about 1 1/2 hours, occasionally, several hours. I would say that she did like me and some things I did. Love has many meanings to different people and at different times (O).

Sadly for me, she is gone.

Torito

..why does everything have to be EVIL when it comes from women in our line of work?

Originally Posted by reese foster

That goes for the guys as well

Thanks for the input everyone. I realized that her love for money was stronger than her love for me :-( Her exact words were everyone I see is just a customer you are the one that I love. I have seen providers in the past and after a few sessions they refused money from me. I guess this girl just loved the money that I gave her. Oh well......... NEXT???

The vast majority of the ladies I've seen appreciated the business and treated me very well, as a valued customer. (Probably did so with almost all their clients.) Most, I hope, considered me a "good client" -- respectful, didn't haggle, took the hint that it was time to go, not horrible hygiene, didn't short the envelope, etc. -- the type that they would hope to see again. (Hopefully they could say the same about most of their clients.) Several seemed to enjoy the BCD activities, but I've found that tends to be more a result of a lady's own sense of sexuality and sensuality than the skill of her partner. So I'm glad that she's enjoying, but assume that's probably fairly typical for her with most clients. [*]

A few even seemed to "connect" well with me, in the sense that they seemed to enjoy my personality and similar characteristics, more than usual; the equivalent of compatibility that one would look for in a "real world" friend. I got the sense that they really enjoyed talking, etc., not just BCD, and that they felt very comfortable around me. Most likely because they were a true "people person" who enjoyed life and most people they were around. Probably not because I in particular am really that much fun to be around. Because, after all, I am a curmudgeon when I'm not being boring.


Some of these reactions might fit under some definitions of "love" bandied about in this thread. But being with me is not a BFE, let alone likely to arouse a desire by her for anything beyond the boundaries of P4P. And between that and the typical fears some have expressed in this thread . . . well, a few have said that I'm one of their favorite clients, but I don't recall any of the ladies I've seen ever using the term "love."

If they did utter the L-word? It wouldn't bother me, but I also would understand the limited nature of what they were expressing: that it might just be "appreciate the business"/"good client"/"fun to be around" or a general fondness, but not a romantic desire/interest.

Which is why this whole question has always seemed a bit of a non-issue to me. But maybe it happens a lot more to other clients.

-------------------------
[*] Even though a lady might enjoy my personality and might enjoy BCD, I don't think I've run across one yet who felt a strong sexual attraction to me, in the sense of seeing me across the room and thinking "Oh my God, I want to fuck him right now!" But that, of course, just means that she might not choose me for a civilian NSA one night stand; it doesn't mean that, once she chooses me because of the $$$, she couldn't or wouldn't enjoy the sex. She might not, but most women seem able to enjoy sex even in the absence of a strong, overwhelming, and immediate sexual (or romantic) attraction. And even with guys who are not the most talented lovers in the world.

I love you, Chevalier!

I don't recall any of the ladies I've seen ever using the term "love." Originally Posted by Chevalier

LOL. OK, make that "almost any."

Likewise, darlin'.

Thank you for your valuable input Chevy. I alway's considered you to be a very "wise man" on ASPD as well. I have been active in this hobby for 12 years and this is my 4th handle, all changed legally. Lol. I am NOT a cheap man. I hope my post didn't come across that way. After a few months of seeing this girl multiple x's a week and her telling me that she loved me I asked her why she still charges me for service? I had a chat with her friend who speaks a little better and she explained in a very nice way that the money right now was more important. I guess my mistake as alway's was reading too deep into our physical and verbal communication. And yes, I also am a very likeable guy, so I've been told by several providers.

And yes, I also am a very likeable guy, so I've been told by several providers. Originally Posted by Roman Polanski

That may be why you've heard the L-word much more often than I have. I'm not entirely sure my wife would even say that about me.

Seriously, it's understandable that people sometimes mistake intentions and think there may be more there than there really is. Not to mention some people who are oblivious when there is more there. Human emotions are very complex, and language is very slippery and inexact. (I had my own hopeful misunderstandings once or twice early in my "P4P career," 35+ years ago.) It may also be more likely with some of the younger ladies who haven't yet learned how to interpret their emotions or express themselves. I don't tend to see the youngest ladies, which may account for some difference between my experiences and those of others.

How the hell can we love anyone?? We are just Providers...Haven't you all figured that out yet? We are machines...


If I tell someone I love them....I mean it. Does it mean that I want to steal them from their wife and run away with them? NO! It means I care about them, value them and appreciate them. I have had some of the same friends in this hobby for going on 4 years, so yeah, I love them!
While I can agree that it may be a little creepy to hear those words uttered during a hot encounter...maybe you could just take it as a compliment that she cares about you and enjoys you..why does everything have to be EVIL when it comes from women in our line of work?

Originally Posted by reese foster

Reese, you are an amazing lady, and I do love your commentary, views on life, and general attitude. Though we've never met (WHY weren't you at the luncheon?) my ATF has told me what a wonderful person you are, and those things combine for me to say I love ya. The best thing is that I am confident you know exactly what I mean, and are neither creeped out about it nor overwhelmed with gratitude for the thought.

So much for any highly educated or professional thoughts on the matter, as Chevalier and Bubba have handled that end of things much more eloquently than I ever could. But I always believed that sharing by example was effective (parables, anyone?)