AS PROMISED -- The two biggest liars in the world!

I have been on a date but ran out of batteries, so I'm back. What were we talking about??

You date batteries?

The two biggest liars in the world are the people who say they don't masturbate and those who say they've stopped! Originally Posted by Yssup Rider

I stopped! It's been over 12 hours since the last time!

Yssup, I must say you have some of the most entertaining posts here. Your humor is appreciated. Rock on and congrats on your gig!

I love my BOB (battery operated boyfriend), I meet with him at least once a day if not every other day....or when I'm bored....or when I can't go to sleep, lol.

Yssup, I must say you have some of the most entertaining posts here. Your humor is appreciated. Rock on and congrats on your gig! Originally Posted by averageTxJoe

Thanks, I appreciate the props. I try to keep it light in the face of all the deathly serious chit that goes on here.

The gig -- well it's no biggie, really! Now, if it was at the Long Center, I'd be impressed! This is just another short set in a 10-day stretch of hundreds of short sets! I'd love to invite all of you to come hear, but that would put your personal security in jeopardy!

And I'd have to wear underwear!

Well methinks the ladies doth remain quiet on this one ...and we all know they sing the same song in the shower we do! You know, the one that 2% of the population sings when they aren't wanking under the nozzle.

Do YOU know that song?

Didn't think so.... Originally Posted by Yssup Rider

Hey how did you know I like to sing in th shower my playing with the nozzle....

I slowed done my non shower rub fests since the last incident that ended me up in the ER

Yes..Yes..AHH Yes love it.....

Hey how did you know I like to sing in th shower my playing with the nozzle....

I slowed done my non shower rub fests since the last incident that ended me up in the ER Originally Posted by VictoriaLyn

LMAO @ Vicki!

I've heard some positively bizarre ER stories from doctor friends of mine. Don't remember anything about a shower nozzle ... but there were a few hairspray can stories...

LMAO @ Vicki!

I've heard some positively bizarre ER stories from doctor friends of mine. Don't remember anything about a shower nozzle ... but there were a few hairspray can stories... Originally Posted by Yssup Rider

I cant be the only one to ever give them selves whiplash materbating?...Right?Then again I can be special at times

I cant be the only one to ever give them selves whiplash materbating?...Right?Then again I can be special at times Originally Posted by VictoriaLyn

just stay away from strippers with sharp fingrenails!

Well you didn't have my choice up there in the poll, so I did the PERV answer for a joke. So one of those votes isn't for real. For me though, it's only maybe 3-4 times a year. And when I do it's overkill for 2 days in a row til I can't take it anymore and my body needs a week to recuperate. That's why it's so few and far inbetween.

Besides, why masturbate when I have rugged male friends to make me happy during the rest of the time?

Good to see you TIA!!!!

just stay away from strippers with sharp fingrenails! Originally Posted by knotty man

OMG....I think she still has half my clit under her nails......If I could remember her name I'd write a review

You date batteries? Originally Posted by Vyt

That's hilarious!

If the guys want to date a battery, here's a female who calls herself DURACELL:
http://advice.eharmony.com/?page=hom...rname=duracell

And for the ladies...your very own coffee cup!