How do you lke to be rejected?

An upfront honest answer. Yeah, I may get pissed off, but in the end I will have more respect for you for being honest.
FS_ITC's Avatar
I have to agree that being ignored is probably harder to take than an honest reason. Of course it also depends on how the reason is phrased. There are always gentle ways to let others down. Civility goes a long way here.
travis13131's Avatar
Your welcome..just gave you a gift..push it forward!!! When do you want to meet up again?
mrhamm's Avatar
Be straight forward and honest. You don't have to tell a guy "All the other ladies say your dick smells like cheese", but do let them know based on discussion of their personal hygiene, you are not interested in meeting them.
Personally, I'd prefer as much as they were willing to provide. Maybe it's something I can correct or work on. Maybe it's something I didn't know about myself, and will help me find more compatible folks later. Maybe there's some misinformation out there that needs to be addressed.

Of course, then the declining escort may get inundated with irate messages about how "she's full of shit and not that hot either so who is she to not be attracted to me?" That kind of response is mitigated by ignoring, and can probably be avoided with a terse decline.

If a provider doesn't want to divulge the reason why, they can give a non commital "Sorry, I'm actually booked pretty full already" or "Nope, sorry, and as a rule I don't talk about declines."

If they're willing to be honest, but are afraid of offending someone, they might say something like, "I don't feel like we'd be any good together. If you'd like to know why I think that, let me know and I can explain it."
onei's Avatar
  • onei
  • 06-05-2014, 11:18 PM
So much could be said, and should be said, and has already been said.........
i am sorry I could not tell someone I dont want to see you cause I heard you smell thats just mean as hell, and I do personally feel bad if Idont want to see someone and will try to help them see another provider especially if its newbie or there looking for something I dont provide or something. I feel mean and horrible when I turn someone away.
Based on the varied responses, I'd gather that if you are able to reply, reply - don't ignore. That's reasonable and makes total sense, though it concerns me that some hobbyists seem to think that this is a realistic and necessary task for EVERY provider. This still seems to be very much a discussion on how others (both hobbyists and providers) believe a provider should run their business rather than a discussion on how a provider should say no thanks. I don't think we can come to a conclusion on just one proper way to handle a "no thanks" when there are so many different styles of hobby provider businesses and hobby businesswomen. It seems to very much vary on the style of hobbyist as well!

However, I appreciate the different answers and hope to see more! They're very helpful and interesting. I like the "Sorry, we're not a good match" approach so far. As honest as I am, there's no need to give the full answer unless they ask for it since they could be someone who would explode at any sort of specific reasoning. No matter how much they may respect me later, for guys who aren't as friendly as CinnamonShark or who have a red hot temper, it's not worth the risk and potential consequences of hurting a (potentially) fragile man's ego.

Speaking of...hey John and Fun (and my old leechy friend Onei)! You guys need a bandaid for your butts? And Fun, I have no idea what your comment is supposed to mean, but I think you may need an XL Bandy? If you have a problem with me or past issues with me, address them to me to any or all of my contact options. Act like an adult and use your words to express your pain or displeasure with my services, don't act like a child. Please, if it's eating y'all up inside so much that you needed to make these desperate attempts for negative attention, contact me personally, off public boards. I'll be happy to hear from you, but is the last I will address either of you about any personal business or issues on this public thread.

EFN
Based on the varied responses, I'd gather that if you are able to reply, reply - don't ignore. That's reasonable and makes total sense, though it concerns me that some hobbyists seem to think that this is a realistic and necessary task for EVERY provider. This still seems to be very much a discussion on how others (both hobbyists and providers) believe a provider should run their business rather than a discussion on how a provider should say no thanks. Originally Posted by Electricfeelnow
I think part of the reason folks strenuously object to the no-answer is that if there's a good reason she doesn't want to see me, I don't want to piss her off by messaging again and again.

I full appreciate how once an ad goes live, a provider has a ton of work. selecting a guy, asking for references, hunting those down, following up, preparing for a session, etc. The list goes on, and providers who shortcut things there will run into trouble.

That said, maybe when the dust settles, it would be a good idea to follow up and explicitly decline the guys you don't wanna see. Hopefully then there will be less chaff to sift through next time.

However, if every provider was exactly the same, what fun would the world be? Every situation will be different, and the only person who knows what's best is oneself.
sunspots's Avatar
Why not list rejection criteria in your ads? Make things clear up front like
I don't see men with freckles that ever showed up for a session eating twizzlers or whatever
Based However, I appreciate the different answers and hope to see more! They're very helpful and interesting. I like the "Sorry, we're not a good match" approach so far. As honest as I am, there's no need to give the full answer unless they ask for it since they could be someone who would explode at any sort of specific reasoning. No matter how much they may respect me later, for guys who aren't as friendly as CinnamonShark or who have a red hot temper, it's not worth the risk and potential consequences of hurting a (potentially) fragile man's ego. Originally Posted by Electricfeelnow
A lot of good reply's here.

Bob McV's "Sorry, we're not a good match." ends the conversation neutrally. Nice.

Sunspots, good idea. That saves time for everybody.

Giving reasons risks giving offence, as ENF said. One "Aw Shit" trumps ten "Atta Boy's."

However y'all say it, please, please, please say No promptly. That helps your colleagues. It frees me to contact someone else.
.
RALPHEY BOY's Avatar
to me I could care less if Patty Provider does not want to see me.. with a new girl here every day who needs to worry about shit like that...

to many choices to worry about one!
onei's Avatar
  • onei
  • 06-06-2014, 06:12 AM
Speaking of...hey John and Fun (and my old leechy friend Onei)! Originally Posted by Electricfeelnow
Don't flatter yourself. We are far from friends!

You guys need a bandaid for your butts? Originally Posted by Electricfeelnow
You see this is your mode of operation. Instead of owning up to your sorted past, you try to divert and redirect so it looks like someone else is in the wrong. You posed the question, and against my better judgement I responded. Like Emily and the stolen watch, some things will stick with you forever, especially if you never are willing to take ownership and admit you were wrong.

With you, it's all about you. You have left more guys waiting for a response after they arrived at your incall than any five BP girls combined, then you expect us to not say anything when you post a thread like this. Hahahaha!

You can change your handle, presumably in hopes of getting away from your "Nightmare" past, but your past will always find you.

Please, if it's eating y'all up inside so much that you needed to make these desperate attempts for negative attention, contact me personally, off public boards. Originally Posted by Electricfeelnow
Ummmmm, been there, done that. Your response .................. CRICKETS!!!!!

I'll be happy to hear from you, but is the last I will address either of you about any personal business or issues on this public thread.

EFN Originally Posted by Electricfeelnow
Happy to hear from us, but refusing to admit your faults … oh I forgot, you don't have any. You ignore them.

Sincerely
Onei (your old leechy friend)
John Taffer's Avatar
looks to me like this provider can dish it out, but can't take it in return.
fun2come's Avatar
Sweetie, I see you do care a little, so here is a personalized response that you can use for rejection:
EFN (Expect Fucking Nothing)

It's really SOS (Same Old Shit) with you.

You are 100% correct on "I have no idea what your comment is supposed to mean", seems to me the moment something doesn't fit in your expected answer sphere it puts you into a tail spin. But I think some folks did get my attempt at sarcasm and humor.

Carry on and I EFN.