How do you keep your “hobby” secret from your SO?

SO passed away from cancer about a month ago......moot point now, would add that all must be based on some part of a provable fact...... Originally Posted by bobonagurski82

My deepest sympathies.

I use a burn phone and have such an active life (compared to her sedate one) that in a given week I'll go to the gym, do yard work, laundry, shop, go drink with buddies, gym, hit libraries, gym, take her out to lunch, run errands. So it's not hard to get away. I used to go to college and would meet with a doctor friend whenever she came to town for a conference. I just said I was at library.

Well I personally DO NOT GO to a persons house that has a SO p411 member or regular client of years NO NO HELL NO.. she can come home anytime she wants.. it amazes me how careless some of these attached men are.

I think that lots of single guys that hobby and many, many providers really don't appreciate how complicated it can be for married guys who hobby. I made some hard and fast rules for myself when I started and vowed to never break them. I've bent them a little at times but never broken them and when I catch myself getting the least bit lax, I go back to the start. I much prefer to hobby when my wife is out of town or I am. That does not leave me a lot of ops so I will stretch that to include when she is in the area but tied down with something. I much prefer to avoid the perp walk when I get home. I much prefer to have enough time to shower before she gets home and wash whatever I was wearing because a woman can smell another one on her man a mile away. I wash my own clothes anyway so nothing suspecious there. I don't want my partner in crime to wear lipstick or perfume of any kind. And please, don't put any marks on me. Since I am fairly well known to a number of people, I fear running into someone I know so I usually have a cover story in mind, at least for being in the area I am in. Running across someone in a hotel lobby is more problematic. I've gotten away with this 20 some odd times. I never assume I will get away with the next one.

And I always keep this scene from "Body Heat" in the back of my mind: Lawyer William Hurt talking to criminal Mickey Roarke as Mickey shows him the bomb to burn down the beach bar around the body of the husband of his lover he plans to kill - Lawyer - "that's all there is to it?" - criminal - "no, that's not all there is to it. You have to get in and you have to get out. Someone once told me that for every crime there are 100 ways to get caught. And if you can think of 25 of them, you're a genious. And you're no genious. Do you remember who told me that councilor?" - lawyer - knowing smile. And anyone who saw that movie knows how that shit turned out. Originally Posted by watchoutthegameisrigged

I thinck you are wrong. The ladies know what other women look/smell for ... It is you that are putting yourself out there for the wife to catch you, not the ladies. Too many fucktards look to blame the providers for their own carelessness.

Wrong about what? I am not careless at all and I don't blame the ladies for anything unless they do something really stupid. I just don't want them wearing strong fragrances. And I look for some perceived intelligence to avoid those that do stupid things.

Incall hotels adjacent or near restaurants or retail where I can park my car. Prefer the bigger conference type hotels where I can blend in with the crowd. Outcall when possible.

Dedicated hobby GoPhone paid with cash.

Carefully select mature playmates with a good reputation and cover up.

Find a good ATF and stay with her.

I like how one of my ATFs books at hotels with conferences going on. Makes it easy to blend into the mostly male crowd.

Incall hotels adjacent or near restaurants or retail where I can park my car. Prefer the bigger conference type hotels where I can blend in with the crowd. Outcall when possible.

Dedicated hobby GoPhone paid with cash.

Carefully select mature playmates with a good reputation and cover up.

Find a good ATF and stay with her. Originally Posted by Zhivago52

Not married, but I would think it would be easier to hide the messages on my regular phone, than to hide a whole other phone. How does that work?

If you SO were to ask for your phone, do you think she might not find something? It happens more often than you think.
Hiding a phone can be easier than you might think.

If for every crime there are 100 ways to get caught, what are the top ways to get busted by SO?

1. SO finds pics or texts on phone/computer
2. You give your SO an STD
3. Perfume smell/lipstick/body marks
4. You get busted by LE

Of course, if she is already suspicious and looking, then there's an unlimited number of ways she can find out.

tell her you are going fishing or to the casino.

I travel for work quite a bit and can hobby while I am traveling very easily.

There times where my travel hits a dry spell. I typically wait until she is busy with something else. I tell her I am going to the casino. There are many around me to choose from. Also serves to explain the ATM withdrawal.

Burner phone for communication which I leave at work locked in my desk at work or carry with me while I am traveling.

Not from hobby experience so much as just cheating in general:
Google voice is essential. Get the app and use a burner email to link it to. Then, delete the app whenever you are done with that rendezvous. Re-download the app once you are ready to send and receive messages again. Make sure and turn the auto alert on the lock screen off!!!!! Lost a good girlfriend that way and that was with regular text messages (and not even a hook up, just a female friend but looked suspicious so you know).

Whatsapp is great but the other person has to have it as well (not as big in the US). Same thing, hide the app really well or delete it and re-download as needed.

Also, there is a way to see every single spot you have been in and how long you were there on an iPhone (location settings, history, something like that...look it up). Literally shows dots on a map.

I agree, not being able to respond to a text or answer a call is a huge pain in the ass. I could imagine a girl saying "You have 5 minutes to text me a picture of you in your current surroundings and a screen shot with the time" or something like that.

Great thing also is to just rename the person in your phone as Rick Work or something like that so if it does get seen it's not automatically a tip off. Of course once I got caught messaging "james" to meet up (jaimie).

Seriously watch out for auto download of pictures from a text service to your phone or the cloud.

Also got busted with bluetooth showing girls name on the radio of my car (ex). Would have otherwise been hidden on vibrate. Then I had to decline the call and sit there awkwardly.

Also, had a girl watch me as I put my password in my phone and then while I was sleeping she went through my entire phone but I made her feel guilty and got make up sex after I kicked her out for being nosey (I had already deleted the messages).

I think you have to be stupid to fuck another girl and then go home to your SO. They can sense/smell that. Phermones, perfume, shampoo, hairspray, vagina juice in your stubble. Easiest to do it while away on business. No traces. They can have your find my friend connected and see you are in the hotel and not realize someone is with you.

What else....cigarette smell on the clothes, condom wrapper under the seat, STD: have to really watch the BBBJ if dating someone. Not fair to them and the ultimate fail if you work with someone and give them an STD. I don't trust BBBJ from a working girl if I'm dating someone, who knows if they took a load in their mouth 30 minutes earlier. Maybe have them avoid the tip altogether and just stick to the shaft, balls, and taint?

Behavior, if you bring home flowers they wonder what is up. If you pull away because you came recently or go straight to the shower when you get home then they think something is up.

I vote stick to the away game...when you or her is out of town. Watch the tracking on your phone. I also had an idiot provider text me back (was using normal text) many hours later to say "hey, i'm available, what are looking for" or something like that. Dodged a huge bullet on that one.

There is a hidden albums section on the new iOS software, but you have to make sure and delete the cloud! Also, albums broadcast to the TV now a days so can pop up any time.

I tend to run out of batteries a lot both on purpose and on accident, that way when I have to disappear for an hour I can just turn the damn thing off and it doesn't seem so abnormal.

Google voice though, that is the way to go. make calls, send texts, etc. for free from a separate number. Just delete the app! They are cluing into it! Skype also offers a number but charges you per text.

Careful of introducing a new trick you learned in bed.

Some lessons from a serial cheater. It has gotten incredibly hard the past few years! I went like 10+years without getting caught and have been busted like 5 times in the past couple of years. Currently sloppy as hell with my 2 girlfriends but neither seem to be that up to date on technology so I've just turned all of the notifications off so I don't get an obvious text from one while hanging out with the other. Also, just upload and delete every picture. Going to get busted soon though. Just too many photos and messages back and forth. Horrible, I know.

This is the kind of information I needed to know.

Thanks!

Interesting thread to read...

Finsbury admits to being caught or almost caught a half-dozen times, and we should take his advice?