hobbying for convenience -- don't like it.

Guitar,

You got her riled up because whether you meant it or not, your statement that you were "disappointed" in yourself is rude and demeaning. It dehumanizes the women you saw, as it's basically saying that because they weren't your preferred body type that they're worthless trash. The fact that you chose them yourself makes it even worse.

We all have preferences. If you go away from yours, don't trash the girls because of it. Originally Posted by TheBizz

I completely understand and sympathize with the reaction the original poster got, and I'm certainly not trying to pick on you.

But . . . buyer's remorse and publicly expressing one's disappointment in a tryst are, arguably, part of the core function of a board like this. Writing a review with a "no" recommendation, and explaining that you thought she wasn't as attractive as you'd hoped, may be unpleasant and even rude or gratuitously cruel in some instances. (Particularly if you knew before scheduling that you would find her unattractive, but it's not clear that was the case with the original poster.) But I wouldn't automatically equate it to thinking/saying that the lady was "worthless trash." And to the extent that it's dehumanizing, it's an almost inevitable result of P4P as financial transaction and a P4P board as Consumer Reports.

If it's dehumanizing, or saying that a lady is "worthless trash," all clients are guilty to some extent, if only by omission. We all decline to see some ladies because to us they're not attractive; most of us at one time or another have seen a lady who turned out to be less attractive (to us) than we realized from descriptions or available pictures. That we may not want to have sex with them doesn't necessarily mean we consider them trash.

In other words, it seems that the original poster's sin (if any) was not so much that he considered certain ladies he'd seen to be unattractive, as that it was rude/gratuitously cruel to mention it publicly. And even then, only if it's not an important element of an otherwise appropriate discussion.

*shrug* My opinion. YOMV

Anybody have a copy of Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People to let him borrow?

I have a copy. Can't you tell I use it all the time?

Since I'm replying from my phone, ill have to post my thoughts when I get a chance at home.

Chevalier,

I am not as well spoken (written?) as you. First of all, I meant to convey that his words could be taken with that meaning, not to suggest that there was only that one absolute meaning.

Also, I would point out that there is a difference between saying you were disappointed in a woman's appearance (or her service, or the encounter in general), and saying tge encounter made you feel disappointed in yourself. Saying you were disappointed in yourself in this situation, IMO, insinuated that you consider the encounter beneath you, that you're better than that.

I have actually felt this way in the hobby many times, but typically it's brought on by a lady obviously not wanting to be there. It's when I find myself staring at the ugly side of the hobby populated by coerced addicts, down on their luck young women, and lowlife pimps that I feel disappointed in myself.

Now, have I ever had sex with somebody I didn't find attractive and regretted it? Sure I have. But that's my decision, and I think it'd be wrong to come out publicly and shame a woman due to a decision I made. This of course assumes she presented an accurate presentation of herself prior to me jumping in.

Hope that clears up where I was coming from. To the OP, my intention wasn't to scold you, it was to try and illustrate where TNT and some of the other women might be coming from.

the last 3-4 times i've gotten a BnG, it wasn't from a lady i was attacted to at all. quite the opposite, in fact. it almost makes feel disappointed in myself... Originally Posted by guitarboyaspd

well, since I was the last lady you reviewed, thanks-you boosted my ego today.

realize that most gals that I personally consider 'hot' don't love sucking dick for fifty bucks. Originally Posted by guitarboyaspd

Most girls who you don't think are "hot" probably don't like sucking dick for fifty bucks either.

You got her riled up because whether you meant it or not, your statement that you were "disappointed" in yourself is rude and demeaning. It dehumanizes the women you saw, as it's basically saying that because they weren't your preferred body type that they're worthless trash. The fact that you chose them yourself makes it even worse.

We all have preferences. If you go away from yours, don't trash the girls because of it. Originally Posted by TheBizz

Thank you.

Going to go hide in my dehumanized corner now....

Meg

***edited to tell meg, that he obviously has no regard whatsoever for anyone's actual feelings. We are all in this with some understandings of realities that we choose not to discuss, or we ignore as we go about our business. Please don't let him get to you. That goes for all the girls he has reviewed. Love your $50 reply too...I thought it, just didn't add it.***

another thing - you should have put this shit in the mens room if you really wanted to say something so mean about "the last 3-4 times i've gotten a BnG, it wasn't from a lady i was attacted to at all. quite the opposite, in fact. it almost makes feel disappointed in myself... " Originally Posted by tntangie

1. The above quote of myself - which was in my first reply - sums this whole shit fest up. It should have been handled in the guys area.

2. This little reaction I had here - is maybe 50% riled up.....you don't want to piss me off. Just a little FYI. I'm usually sweet as pie, with a little sass and frass - but when I see bullshit - I'll call it. (which is why I do try to limit my access to eccie)

3.I think the responses from TheBizz are some of the best replies I've seen on any thread. I don't see white knight syndrome, or the old "Jarod" syndrome. (loves to hear ones self talk/type...u know I luv u jarod)


If you want my honest advice while putting aside the fact that I think you are an unthoughtful asshat?

To get girls who typically don't offer short sessions, but from every picture you can FIND from RESEARCH of them, and by descriptions....they are so your type - you might bust your knut before you even knock on the door....I would have suggested that you use one of these ladies you "weren't even attracted to at all, quite the opposite in fact" - to vouch for your respect for time, as well as what type of session you like and then I'm sure one of these hot hot hot girls would gladly have seen you for a worked out arrangement.

What is it they say in life.....?

It's not always what you know - but who you know.

This would have benefited you greatly - maybe iBJ will help you out, since you say you are a "nice guy".

Good Luck.

I'm done.

most ladies here have pretty accurate pictures... i know because i have met a lot of them.

my question is why go see them if you are not attracted to them??

and plenty of hot girls have b&g specials

wow... too tipsy for replies now.

How would you like to do four hours of daty a day? Originally Posted by tntangie

Yum yum!

Where do I sign up for this?

2. This little reaction I had here - is maybe 50% riled up.....you don't want to piss me off. Just a little FYI. I'm usually sweet as pie, with a little sass and frass - but when I see bullshit - I'll call it. (which is why I do try to limit my access to eccie) Originally Posted by tntangie

God, who gives a shit whether you are pissed off or not? Or if you are sweet as pie? And who (other than yourself) appointed you to determine where he can - or can't - post?

It seems to me the OP has done a fairly good job of not responding to the personal attacks that you have been spewing at him.

Good GOD - maybe you should limit your access to eccie just a bit more. You seem to be drunk on the power of self congratulation... And you also sound like a bully.

And you aren't the only one with a bullshit detector...

My favorite line? "Good luck. I'm done." As if the only reason why this thread existed was because everyone was waiting to hear your next personal attack on the OP.

alright, i've had a night to think about it, and i stick by my original post. and here's why... in the last couple of meetings (sorry, meg -- this has absolutely nothing to do with you personally -- this is my own internal issue. i thought you were fun and sweet and quite the artist!), i've had a bit of self-realization. as i see myself getting a BJ from someone who isn't exactly 'maxim material' in either a cheap hotel or dumpy apartment, i realize that i DO see this behavior as beneath me.

it's not the particular gal, it's the particular situation. NONE of the gals i've seen have been anything but friendly and fun. remember -- this is my issue, not their's.

FTR, i have a BnG arrangement with one particular gal whose normal hourly rate is well north of $$$ (and i've seen her at that rate -- she was great). she knows a few things about me -- i'm prompt, i'm friendly, i'm clean, and i cum fast. my only issue with this arrangement is that i don't want to only see one provider -- that way things remain on a transactional level (vs me accidentally building a relationship in my head).

so i guess what i'm saying is that the next time megan fox stays in the mansion penthouse, i'd love to stop by and get a bj for a couple of hundred bucks. is that unreasonable? hmmm, i guess so...

i know an easy solution is just pay a gal her nomal $$$-$$$$ hourly rate and leave after a quick bj. so i guess that in some way i AM being a cheap-ass... perhaps that's my only option to really get what i want out of the hobby.

Also, I would point out that there is a difference between saying you were disappointed in a woman's appearance (or her service, or the encounter in general), and saying tge encounter made you feel disappointed in yourself. Saying you were disappointed in yourself in this situation, IMO, insinuated that you consider the encounter beneath you, that you're better than that.

I have actually felt this way in the hobby many times, but typically it's brought on by a lady obviously not wanting to be there. It's when I find myself staring at the ugly side of the hobby populated by coerced addicts, down on their luck young women, and lowlife pimps that I feel disappointed in myself. Originally Posted by TheBizz

Again, I didn't mean to pick on you specifically. I chose your comment to reply to primarily because it was the closest at hand after reading the thread through to the end, and partly because it expressed what others were saying but more clearly.

My reactions tend to be a little bit different than yours, which may be why we interpreted the original comment somewhat differently. For me, buyer's remorse (in general, but including occasionally in P4P) comes in two different types. If the product/service is grossly misrepresented or the service is appalling [in P4P context, think misleading pictures/ads, bait-and-switch, upsell, NS], the negative energy is directed outward, anger at or frustration with the business. It's their fault, damnit!!

But I also experience buyer's remorse (again, in general, including but not limited to P4P) in cases where I didn't do my homework or talked myself into purchasing a product/service against my better judgement. [The P4P equivalent might be schedules without checking reviews carefully or at all, or seeing someone I normally wouldn't, just because of the desperate urge.] In those cases, the negative energy is directed inward, because I realize that it's my fault. I may come away from that situation feeling disappointed in myself. But I don't think it's ever a thought that the product/service (or lady, in the case of P4P) is "beneath me" or "worthless trash." It's more likely "I should have known, why did I spend my money on something that isn't my cup of tea and wasn't worth [to me] what I spent on it?"

That's why "disappointed in myself" doesn't sound the same way to me as it does to you. I associate that with making a choice that is bad for me. If I encounter a product/service (or experience with a lady in P4P) that is "worthless trash," I wouldn't be disappointed in myself -- I'm be disappointed (or angry) with the product/service/lady. The original poster might have expressed it differently, but that's more a question of tact, not necessarily a hostile attitude toward the ladies he's seen.

Admittedly, I'm extrapolating from my reactions in somewhat similar situations when I suggest the possiblity that the original poster may not have meant it the way some have interpreted it. I may not reliably be reading my own reactions (who really knows what's swirling around in the cesspool of my subconscious?) and even if I am, my reactions may not be the same as his. So I'm not sure which of us is more accurately interpreting his statements. You may be right.

It's also possible that my reaction was influenced in part by the atmosphere here that occasionally drifts into extreme incivility/rudeness and misogyny. Maybe I've become so desensitized that something like this seems relatively milder than much of the hostility we see here, and possibly just a misunderstanding.

So just go to the ISO section and put out a request.

ISO of BnG........... Must be Megan Foxx Hot........ In upscale accommodations.

alright, i've had a night to think about it, and i stick by my original post. and here's why... in the last couple of meetings (sorry, meg -- this has absolutely nothing to do with you personally -- this is my own internal issue. i thought you were fun and sweet and quite the artist!), i've had a bit of self-realization. as i see myself getting a BJ from someone who isn't exactly 'maxim material' in either a cheap hotel or dumpy apartment, i realize that i DO see this behavior as beneath me.

it's not the particular gal, it's the particular situation. NONE of the gals i've seen have been anything but friendly and fun. remember -- this is my issue, not their's.

FTR, i have a BnG arrangement with one particular gal whose normal hourly rate is well north of $$$ (and i've seen her at that rate -- she was great). she knows a few things about me -- i'm prompt, i'm friendly, i'm clean, and i cum fast. my only issue with this arrangement is that i don't want to only see one provider -- that way things remain on a transactional level (vs me accidentally building a relationship in my head).

so i guess what i'm saying is that the next time megan fox stays in the mansion penthouse, i'd love to stop by and get a bj for a couple of hundred bucks. is that unreasonable? hmmm, i guess so...

i know an easy solution is just pay a gal her nomal $$$-$$$$ hourly rate and leave after a quick bj. so i guess that in some way i AM being a cheap-ass... perhaps that's my only option to really get what i want out of the hobby. Originally Posted by guitarboyaspd