How Many Times Do You See Someone B4 Giving A Ref?

I agree. One thing that raises a red flag for me is ... lets say I saw "Bob" and the session went okay, then over the next 4 months "Anna, Bell, Cathy, Diane, Erin, Farrah, Gia, Hannah, Isabella & Joyce" all contact me for a reference, yet in month 5, "Bob" is still using me as reference.

It makes me wonder, why is he still using me as a reference, yet he has seen all these other providers after seeing me? Even if he has not see every provider that contacted me, he most certinally saw a few of them.

In cases like this I will tell the provider, "yes, I have seen him, although he has seen a lot of providers since he saw me and I would have to question why he is not using his most current references". Originally Posted by Brooke Wilde
I agree as well! Sometimes, I think they like to use the most "reputable" name they have seen as their reference, as I think they think it carries weight, which is true, but still.
cabletex7's Avatar
I agree. One thing that raises a red flag for me is ... lets say I saw "Bob" and the session went okay, then over the next 4 months "Anna, Bell, Cathy, Diane, Erin, Farrah, Gia, Hannah, Isabella & Joyce" all contact me for a reference, yet in month 5, "Bob" is still using me as reference.

It makes me wonder, why is he still using me as a reference, yet he has seen all these other providers after seeing me? Even if he has not see every provider that contacted me, he most certinally saw a few of them.

In cases like this I will tell the provider, "yes, I have seen him, although he has seen a lot of providers since he saw me and I would have to question why he is not using his most current references". Originally Posted by Brooke Wilde
In another life, Brooksie was a detective.

Fuck, now I'm channeling dangling death.
I do not mind serving as a reference or providing a P411 "okay" for a client I have only seen once. Again, as many have said, that is only a testament to the time the client and I spent together - nothing more. I will not serve as a reference if it has been longer than 8 months since I have seen the person.

When I look at screening I do not view it as a fail-safe because it's not. I entered the business when there were a bunch of issues with P411 being compromised by LE and clients sharing accounts. I've come to the conclusion that I will screen as I see fit, I will email providers that give P411 okays regardless, and I will google people. This thing called discretion goes both ways and clients need to realize that by releasing their information or outing them, we'd do more harm than good to our reputations. And last time I checked, my reputation and my safety is just as important as their privacy.
Brooke Wilde's Avatar
In another life, Brooksie was a detective.

Fuck, now I'm channeling dangling death. Originally Posted by cabletex7
Please don't make me laugh this hard while I'm in bed trying to get to sleep.
LexusLover's Avatar
Please don't make me laugh this hard while I'm in bed trying to get to sleep. Originally Posted by Brooke Wilde
If you are "in bed trying to get to sleep" why are you online?

I don't give "references"!