Caught STI from hobbling - cautionary tale

There is another thread about contracting herpes in DFW in April. For some it may be hard to find. This looks like a legitimate warning.

OP, you're obviously a stand up guy, and it reads more like you're processing what's happened and needed to vent to someone...and who were you gonna tell, right? No one civvie, right?

Most of us who are mature adults know the drill. So, probably you needed to get off what's on your chest more than you're trying to warn us with a cautionary tale.

That being said, I don't mind reading it. I have the sympathy you likely were looking for: Sorry bro. The risk snake bit you. But realize this, herpes will not be the end of the world for you. If this med-resistant gonorrhea I read popped up somewhere in Europe make its way around, people will have to redefine what they think a bad STD experience is. Go look up what untreatable gonorrhea does to you, and I promise you'll feel at Least(!) a little bit better about your situation.

1. I wouldn't tell anyone who the providers are, only for the reason that you don't know which one it is. Also, awhile back, in the last STD cautionary thread I read, someone mentioned much to the surprise of the OP,"hey, maybe your wife has cheated, and you got it from her." I know you don't want to hear that, and you have a week-out timeframe from your session to place it with the hobby, not your wife, but yeah I wouldn't tell anyone who the providers are.

2. You've got a provider (Jules) telling you to let the providers know... So do that. Whoever it is might not know.

3. Lastly, I personally wouldn't deal with your wife until after the wedding. Get it cleared up. Take the meds, and chill out. (Maybe you can tell your wife youre not interested in sex for once.)

4. I'd quit doing the best/worst case thing, and Id set a time limit for when you'll quit the shock and pity stage, the 'dead man walking' stage, and when that time is up, get past it.

5. You'll figure how to handle things with your wife along the way. But you've got guilt, a conscious, so I'll cheers a cocktail to you during happy hr this afternoon. Ditch this handle, too. You opened a handle for this problem? Named it Trainwreck? Cmon man.

Good luck,
LnH

BS on this post.

Not to minimize your situation but it could be worse. You could have passed it to your wife. I heard of a guy that passed a STD to the wifey and it made her sterile. STD or no STD cheating on the wife is always better with a provider.
No emotions or longing for companionship other than sex.

I admire your awareness and decision to tell wifey but I would not rush into it until you know your options. Sadly the truth hurts other parties when living with the lie only hurts you.

Great responses, for the most part.

The hobby is dangerous, man. Rubbers don't save you from herpes if an outbreak is imminent. As some have said, maybe the hooker didn't even know she had it yet. Anyway, this SUCKS royally, but as others have said, could have been worse.


I fucking HATE having to fuck hookers for this very reason. If there was another way to still be able to fuck AND to insure that my family would stay together, I would do it.

A chick on the side leads to possible "attachment" issues. Jerking off gets really old, really fast.. And divorce means not seeing your kids nearly as much and trying to get on with your life while still spending most of your money on your "old" life. I am also in a sexless marriage just like you are.

The answer? Hookers!!! At least for me. Of course, every hooker's mouth I fill with cum makes me loathe my wife that much more.

To summarize:

it's the old lady's fault you had to fuck a hooker;
;........ Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

Sometimes, this one is 100% true.

Not always, But sometimes.

Of course there are those guys who are just dogs and will fuck hookers and skanks on the side regardless of what kind of wife they have. Can't defend that, but it happens. But sometimes the wife leaves very little options available.

sorry man, not to make light, but you gambled, you lost.
tell the providers you were with, they deserve to be informed, you owe them that.

don't publish names here, you don't know when you got it, you only know the incubation period and anyone who gets fever blisters (herpes simplex) will tell you, an outbreak is unpredictable.
It could have been bbbj, could have been on her hands from the guy just before you, you don't know.

we are all gambling just as you did, it's on me if I get an STD.

Just as with fever blisters, you'll know when an outbreak is coming, you can feel it.
There are more anti-viral meds now than ever before. Get to a trusted source, get the meds.

DO NOT lay this burden on your wife. When you chose to start hobbying, you turned a corner, now keep going. If yall are really down to as infrequent as you say, then you can damn sure come up with something for her. Go wash your hands in a bucket of bleach, then dip them in udderly smooth, wait a bit then put whipped cream on her kitty and pleasure her clit.

good luck, it's not always fair is it.

First off, do not tell your wife. If you don't have sex together then why burden her with this? To ease your own guilty conscience? That's fucking selfish...shoulder this burden alone. Put on your big boy underpants and BE A MAN. Take this shit to your grave.

Second, tell every provider you've been with recently (condom or no condom) so that they can go get tested.

Sorry this happened to you man, sending you prayers and tough love.

Edit: it's time to start ordering those antivirals from Canada. Once they get you on a regimen that works for you it's usually cheaper...since you may not want to use your insurance.

Handjobs... I love them, the risk is very, very low. I do have ED issues, so penetration is out. Loved to get sucked and finish off with a good HJ. Not the greatest but still gets the job done...

Handjobs... I love them, the risk is very, very low. I do have ED issues, so penetration is out. Loved to get sucked and finish off with a good HJ. Not the greatest but still gets the job done... Originally Posted by crashkopf

yeah, but pussy doesn't have long fingernails and teeth to scrape the Hell out of your dick!

Posted by Chung Tran - yeah, but pussy doesn't have long fingernails and teeth to scrape the Hell out of your dick!

Sometimes fingernails and teeth get the job done when a mouth and tongue is so soft you can't feel anything. RAWR

As for the OP. Lots of good advice here. Get a good anti viral medication. Don't tell wife, tell all providers you've been with. If you do have your quarterly sex with your wife use a condom. Explanation may be in order but if she is dry, buy lubricated condoms and tell her you want to try something different. Or just tell her the thought of skin to skin contact repulses you.

Wash your hands. Don't spread it to objects or others inadvertently. Especially accidental transition to grandkids.

My sons pediatrician told me about a new mom who had an oral outbreak. Kissed her newborn on top of its little bald head and the poor thing had contact herpes from the open sores touching its skin.

I do agree with Milfy. Very sound advice. You may be able to save your marriage and move on...

I need to mention the elephant in the room.

IF YOU HAVE AN STD OR THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE ONE, YOU SHOULD NOT BE HOBBYING. PLEASE DO NOT SHARE IT. DONT BE A RECKLESS PROVIDER OR FUCKTARD.

GET THAT STD CHECKED OUT ASAP BY A DOCTOR AND GET RID OF IT OR AT LEAST GET IT UNDER CONTROL.

IF YOU ARE INSANELY STUPID AND DO HOBBY WITH AN STD, AT LEAST BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHER PEOPLE'S HEALTH AND WARN THE OTHER PERSON BEFORE THINGS GET STARTED.

KNOWINGLY SPREADING AIDS, HERPES, GONORRHEA, CHLAMYDIA, SYPHILIS OR HEPATITIS TO OTHERS IS A CRIME IN TEXAS.

Using protection is not a defense.

Dont believe me? Google "transmitting an std in Texas"

This community is a semi-closed system with hundreds of people engaging in very high risk behaviors with the highest risk population for STD's, and they repeat those behaviors with people doing the same thing repeatedly, exponentially magnifying the risk. The OP admitted the problem. Imagine how many people in here either don't know or wouldn't tell anyone else in order to protect others. Sadly, his story will probably have nearly zero impact on behavior for the majority of those who insist on recklessness. These stories appear in here regularly, and The only impact it seems to have is to promote defensiveness with those who want to ignore it.

For everyone calling BS on this post, I'm racking my brain as to why the OP would make this up. I don't see an upside especially if he's not bashing any specific provider.