Rules of arrangements.

And girls are going to want to give as little as possible and receive as much as possible. Been there, done that, bought the car and the tuition. Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

I'm curious, what were your requirements of her?

There's nothing like a man who's not only financially beneficial, but beneficial to the woman as a whole. Good ones are hard to find. I've never had a SD that didn't know from the gate that respect is a two way street, and I would not endure childish behavior. I've had two arrangements that went well because of that mutual respect. We genuinely enjoyed each other's company, and we listened to each other.

The consensus with the ladies I know who've had a SD is that for the most part, they felt like they had real fathers as opposed to learned lovers. Some short-lived encounters were because instead of the gents trying enhance the lady's life, they used their money to keep the ladies at a certain level. I know one girl whose SD was so mad when she got a job in her field after college that he cut her off completely.

Overall, from a woman's standpoint, SD/SB is not for that woman who will get taken advantage of in the long run. I would think that a SD would be more attracted to someone who has the potential to take the money, advice, and experience he has brought to the table and make more of herself than she would have without him.

Nice thoughts, Tiffani, but I think perhaps not the norm. Sad to say, I think there are 10 jerks out there to every nice guy. I would suspect a lot of SDs like the dependence, and thrive on the ego boost. It takes a strpng, self-sufficient and generous personality to help someone grow to independence and appreciate that they no longer need the relationship.

Very few men go into an arrangement like that expecting an equal. After all, they are looking for someone with a built in dependency. That doesn't promote equality. Many folks demand parity before respect.

Nice thoughts, Tiffani, but I think perhaps not the norm. Sad to say, I think there are 10 jerks out there to every nice guy. I would suspect a lot of SDs like the dependence, and thrive on the ego boost. It takes a strpng, self-sufficient and generous personality to help someone grow to independence and appreciate that they no longer need the relationship.

Very few men go into an arrangement like that expecting an equal. After all, they are looking for someone with a built in dependency. That doesn't promote equality. Many folks demand parity before respect. Originally Posted by the_chewtoy

Very well said sir. Your honesty on this subject is surprising and refreshing.

I see everyone is against this. I didn't post this in any type of need. With all these arrangement sites It seems to be very popular i was just curious about how It really worked. I recently have an offer for an arrangement but I declined because his month offer was less than what I can make as a provider. His expectations were that I no longer be active in the hobby. I was just curious what others would expect rather than hearing one persons imitations and expectations were. It makes sense to get a second opinion. Also a short term arrangement might be different than an every month deal. I wonder jf all these arrangement sites are a waste of time and effort.

I'm assuming an agreed arrangement could be beneficial to both sides.
Guys if a provider is an ATF of yours and she wants to make a fairly large purchase and you are of course able to so would you make a real with her?
If Yes what would your limits and expectations be of this deal?

Ladies what would your expectations and limits be?
Would you have a set schedule of time together, or would you be opend to spending time together at any available time like with a friend.

Has anyone made a similar arrangement before? Was It sucessful and would you do It again? Originally Posted by Kandy Kelly

too many generalities to give a specific answer.

for example, what is "large"? $500, 1,000, 4,000, 10,000, 1,000,000??

as many have stated, it can be much better for you to save up for the large purchase. then it'll be bought with your money. otherwise, it's a loan and you'll be responsible for paying off that loan. dont pay it off, suffer the consequences [whether it be bad credit report if it's a legit official loan or a bar reputation if it's a person-to-person loan]. if you need help getting a legit official loan, talk w/ some of the other women here and you'll probably get some good ideas and some things to stay away from.


that said, i've read of arrangements made for an upfront payment.
sometimes they work, sometimes they dont.
just make sure that all the i's are dotted and t's crossed.
but expect that it's not a 100% sure thing. one side may not live up to the agreement.

It seems that most feel providers are unreliable and full of shit. It's sad that providers are viewed this way, I would think that a classy and profesional lady would keep to her word to avoid ruining her reputaion. I'm sure some of us could have a sucessful arrangement once a trust and created over time between both sides.

I see everyone is against this. I didn't post this in any type of need. With all these arrangement sites It seems to be very popular i was just curious about how It really worked.

I recently have an offer for an arrangement but I declined because his month offer was less than what I can make as a provider. His expectations were that I no longer be active in the hobby. I was just curious what others would expect rather than hearing one persons imitations and expectations were.

It makes sense to get a second opinion. Also a short term arrangement might be different than an every month deal.

I wonder jf all these arrangement sites are a waste of time and effort. Originally Posted by Kandy Kelly

we just posted at the same time, so i just saw your reply.

arrangement sites are waaaaay different from escorting sites.
in terms of what the guys expect, what the women expect, and the compensation for such an arrangement. i'm amazed at what i read about wrt SD/SB.

in general, the hourly compensation for an arrangement is less than the hourly compensation for an escort. somewhat related to economies of scale. and somewhat related to the differences in the two sub-cultures.

i suggest you evaluate each offer, whether for escorting or arrangements, based on YOUR criteria and what you feel comfortable with. some women might like an offer where they get a specific sum on a set schedule and not have to deal w/ the business of escorting. some wouldnt.

and no, arrangement sites are NOT a waste of time and effort to everyone.
for some, they are a waste of time/effort. for others, they are very rewarding. again, evaluate them based on your criteria.

It seems that most feel providers are unreliable and full of shit. It's sad that providers are viewed this way, I would think that a classy and profesional lady would keep to her word to avoid ruining her reputaion. I'm sure some of us could have a sucessful arrangement once a trust and created over time between both sides. Originally Posted by Kandy Kelly

what and how much have you read to come to that conclusion???

of all the female escorts/providers i've visited over the past 12+ yrs, i'd say that 80% of them were reliable and all that plus a bag of chips!!!

there are some who dont get what this sub-culture is all about.
and there a lots more who do!!!

it's not what we think.
it's what we do that matters.

if a woman takes care of setting up appts, conducts herself well, provides a nice location, and provides nice services, chances are she will earn a good reputation and be able to continue in this sub-culture for as long as she wants.

if a woman DOESNT take care of setting up appts, conducts herself less than well, provides a dumpy location, and provides half-baked services, chances are she will earn a bad reputation and not be able to continue in this sub-culture for very long.

whether or not she knows what can result in a good reputation, she makes her choices.

just like i make my choices on who i consult with.
sometimes it's deliteful.
sometimes i wished i had just stayed home.

life is like that - make a choice and enjoy/suffer the consequences.

So what I gather is that in these sb/sd world it is posible but in the hobby world dont even think about it. What makes the two so different, it is just about the same an of time for money. Does being labled a provider make people feel she won't hold up her side of the deal.

I think comparing a provider-hobbyist relationship with a sugar daddy-sugar baby relationship is like comparing a bloody mary with a bazooka -- they are just too different for a comparison to be of much use.

Personally, I think providers make awful SBs (and I've tried twice). If your way of comparing the two types of relationships is to compare the bottom line only, stay a provider. You won't be happy as a SB.

There was a lengthy discussion of providers as SBs in this recent thread:

"Sugar daddy dating & info ??"

So are SB/SD relationships only sex? I wouldn't mind being an SD if it was more than sex. Hell I wouldn't mind if she hobbied on the side as long as we still had our time. It'd be like having a girlfriend without all the expectations.

So are SB/SD relationships only sex? I wouldn't mind being an SD if it was more than sex. Hell I wouldn't mind if she hobbied on the side as long as we still had our time. It'd be like having a girlfriend without all the expectations. Originally Posted by good2bbad

A SD-SB relationship is what the parties thereto make it (which is one big difference with a hobbyist-provider relationship).

There's a whole guy-only forum here devoted to SD activities. To access it, earn or pay for premium membership.

To gain a basic understanding of what a SD-SB relationship is like, you might read the third thread listed in my sig line.

So what I gather is that in these sb/sd world it is posible but in the hobby world dont even think about it. What makes the two so different, it is just about the same an of time for money. Does being labled a provider make people feel she won't hold up her side of the deal. Originally Posted by Kandy Kelly

They're both fruit but not from the same tree. They like to think it's not tricking, but it is. They just don't want you to be a well-known ho.

I hope you read and understood the excerpts on SD's here, because the good ones ARE few and far between. If you wanted a client to pay you in advance for a month, I'm sure you can find one that would agree to that. I'm pretty sure that some clients have had good luck with that.

With SD's, it's an element of exclusivity that he wants. You are his prize, and no one can have you but him. When someone puts a low price tag on a prize, AND you'd have to stop providing, he's just seeing how big of a fool you are. On to the next one. Sometimes, when arrangements are made like this it's a setup for failure. He EXPECTS you to take the chump change, but he ALSO expects you to be greedy and make some money on the side. But really, it's up to you to want a person that has that much of a foothold in your life to where he can tell you what you can and can't do with your body. The point is it's supposed to be so worth it that you make that choice for yourself.

I hope you know that I mean well. There are so many paths that are open to you, and I would hope that you chose one that makes you happy.

I wouldn't mind being an SD if it was more than sex. Hell I wouldn't mind if she hobbied on the side as long as we still had our time. It'd be like having a girlfriend without all the expectations. Originally Posted by good2bbad

That's how it's supposed to be. If you went that route, it's supposed to be with someone you could offer more than money, and she should be looking for the same. The level of involvement in your personal lives should be minimal. It's all about fun and enjoyment when you two are together. You should never bring the trivialities of a real relationship to a SD/SB relationship. I mean, you'd think guys would get enough of that shit at home.

This is the way a SB should make you feel...

I am pleasantly surprised at how well behaved this thread has been.

Tiffani, your insight, and your willingness to offer your experiences to this young lady are very refreshing.

I think a lot of the comments here have been very much on point. I just want to emphasize that the reason that SD/SB experiences sour is because the expectations are so out of balance. Too many ladies, probably especially immature (age is not important) ladies, expect that it will be a utopia. Their eyes are blinded by $$$$$$$$ signs and fail to see the other half of the equation. Nothing in life is free. It must be earned.

Sometimes, the work we do while providing us with income also provides us with satisfactions that far exceed the cashflow. Other times, the drudgery of it all makes no amount of cash enough. Currently, I have found some work that makes this hobby less required. It stimulates my mind, I feel that I am having a positive impact on the world, and it pays okay. Not great pay, but at least the other benefits are there.

Find the niche that provides the best balance of satisfaction & $$$$ and move forward.

Kandy, I must say, at least you seem to be asking the questions to understand the game(s) and are listening to the answers, answers that have been surprisingly well written and positive for the most part.