Hobby Dilemma and choices

I started counseling at her insistence earlier this summer. It has helped, but we have t really made any big breakthroughs yet. Just basically the ant I essentially abdicated my authority in the relationship to meet her needs for the past 26 years and now we are just sort of roommates. I earn 3 times her salary and make most of the money to support us and she spends it.
bobbyb1234's Avatar
I started counseling at her insistence earlier this summer. It has helped, but we have t really made any big breakthroughs yet. Just basically the ant I essentially abdicated my authority in the relationship to meet her needs for the past 26 years and now we are just sort of roommates. I earn 3 times her salary and make most of the money to support us and she spends it. Originally Posted by BasicGuy
A buddy of mine recently went through a divorce, split up his retirement account, she took the house and the kids, split the cash etc etc. He was secretly tracking their marital relations over the last 5 years and found that each time they had sex, it cost him $50k.

Fifty Thousand Dollars each time to have mediocre sex with his wife that typically wanted him to end quickly, and in one or two positions.
TexTushHog's Avatar
Wise words, Tin. I would either get separated or try counseling. No amount of pussy will help him Originally Posted by shauk1960
But a nice regular supply of pussy won’t hurt, either.
DallasRain's Avatar
But a nice regular supply of pussy won’t hurt, either. Originally Posted by TexTushHog


best advice ever!!!! smart man!!
Through a series of bad choices and unchecked credit spending, we would have to sell the house to pay off things. Money is so tight in this economy already, and while we combined make great money, our spending habits and her tastes stretch every penny. I do t have enough free cash to get a place for a separation so we are stuck trying to work it out under the same roof. Thankfully the kids are essentially grown and the youngest will be in college next year.

I came home today to her telling me she just felt blah all day and didn’t want to do anything tonight. I asked what was wrong and she just glared at me and looked back at her phone.

I figure I have 30 or so years left on this planet and I am not certain if I want to spend them walking on egg shells and worrying that any decision I make will be wrong or will trigger some type of drama. We live in a small town, so a divorce would be very public and I just don’t need that drama either.

Funny that I am getting some better feedback here than from my therapist!
playerplano's Avatar
Tell her to fuck off and maybe she will make the whole thing easier. If you make most of the money tell her she is on a budget. I can’t stand people that expect you to keep doing nice things but think it’s ok to treat you like shit. If there was a divorce she would have to learn some frugality start teaching her now. If you are lucky she will get mad and stop talking to you ! My ex did the silent treatment and I loved it LOL.
TinMan's Avatar
Through a series of bad choices and unchecked credit spending, we would have to sell the house to pay off things. Money is so tight in this economy already, and while we combined make great money, our spending habits and her tastes stretch every penny. I do t have enough free cash to get a place for a separation so we are stuck trying to work it out under the same roof. Thankfully the kids are essentially grown and the youngest will be in college next year.

I came home today to her telling me she just felt blah all day and didn’t want to do anything tonight. I asked what was wrong and she just glared at me and looked back at her phone.

I figure I have 30 or so years left on this planet and I am not certain if I want to spend them walking on egg shells and worrying that any decision I make will be wrong or will trigger some type of drama. We live in a small town, so a divorce would be very public and I just don’t need that drama either.

Funny that I am getting some better feedback here than from my therapist! Originally Posted by BasicGuy
It ain’t going to get better, dude. It’s better to get your ducks in a row and prepare for the collision then live the slow death you are describing.
Sir Lancehernot's Avatar
Orion Taraban, whose podcast was mentioned hear a couple of months ago, had an interesting take on guys whose wives cut them off this week.


Basically, either partner who unilaterally decides that sex is off the table is breaking one of the covenants of the marriage contract. There's more, but that's the gist, and his podcasts are only about 10 minutes long.
TinMan's Avatar
True. And when someone breaks a contract with me and won’t work with me to remedy it, I pursue my legal rights and remedies in court. In this case, a canceling of the contract.