Marrying a Provider

Providers need love too.....just like the rest of us.

Referring to Lucky40's post...yes...I meant that both would leave the hobby. You know...I think there are many providers who do love the worship from many men and the money, but I have met a few, even very attractive ones (usu. a little older...mid-thirties to over forty...and above...) who seem kind of ready to get out and to settle with one man. And yes...these are usu. massage ladies. But I have never actually met anyone who married a provider or a provider who married a client. Well...not that I know of anyway!

And tbone2u...yes...you are right...we all need love. Unfortunately, with many of the younger providers, the main love they are...in love with...is self-love. But as they get a little older...I am guessing that they find that type of love not so satisfying. Just my take on things.

Nina A. Ross said:

"However I know, it can work, if you can afford it."

Yea...that's been my problem...haven't yet found a provider who could afford me. (Sheesh!)

Was wondering if anyone has ever married or knows anyone who has married a provider. Or do any of you providers know of any other providers who have married a client? Do these relationships work out? And I am not mainly focusing on sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships, but of real love--if this is possible.

A side point: a few months ago I talked to a girl at a massage place who told me there were a lot of girls in the business who would like to find the right man, and I know of a few providers who have told me that the reason they got into the business was because they had been left by the man in their life, or had been betrayed by a man, and suddenly had to support themselves and sometimes a child or two--by themselves. Originally Posted by RoadTrip

Yes, several. One is still active and actually started providing after they got married.

Let's face it, providers, strippers, massage parlor girls, are all basically women. Some are more attractive than others, some are more intelligent than others, some are more honest than others. However sexual favors are the way they earn their keep, so if you can't get over her past, the relationship is doomed. My feeling is that all women, providers and "civilians", have a past but a relationship is based on the future (as you both see it). Providers marry, porn stars marry, and the little sluts who seem to fuck everyone but you, also marry. So base your relationship on shared values, and forget about the past, and maybe it will work.

LS

I would think the reasons you would date ANYONE (regardless of either party's occupation), still would be applicable to marry someone in the biz. Typically, you would have had to have an equitable relationship and the guy would have to be level headed enough not to negatively impact the relationship.

Few questions come to mind “not in particular order” you are the only person can answer for your self.

Is she still providing?

I think that marriage and/or relationships between provider and hobbiest will work, but I believe that both, the provider and the hobbyist, need to walk away from the biz if it is to work (I doubt you could handle the whole 'how was your day hun?" "Well my pussy is sore because my 2 o’clock pounded me too hard" part of actually being involved with an active provider).

PS: I also think that I can not judge (throw stones) when I myself partake in this hobby (live in a glass house.)

If a provider told you she wants to be with you but she won’t quit and she still would charge you for pleasure. That just shows you that she don’t like you for you she likes your money. To expect a provider to care for you emotionally is like asking your mailman to do your taxes. It's not in her list of services. Once she cares she will never charge you. By virtue of her occupation, must go out of her way to demonstrate the difference between that pro fantasy and real life.

She may be the sweetest, most loving, kind woman you ever met, but, how would you feel if you found out she was banging the congregation at church? If you can’t don’t do it

Jealousy:
How are you going to feel the first time she comes home late with the faint smell of alcohol on her and a Lewinsky stain on her body or clothing??? Oh no problem just a busy night at the job, no big deal........ or when we would go out and men would look at her I would think maybe he was intimate with her as a client.

If you think marrying a provider is a real risk because of jealousy… don’t do it

Trust:
Can you truly let the past go if a woman was open to emotional bonding with you

If you can’t build trusting relationship with her.. don’t do it

Sex life:
If you are just looking for sex, then a provider will do you no good. Most married guys see providers because they have issues with their wives or are sex addicts. Once a provider told me “I had relationships with men from all kind of worlds...none worked perfectly because, even if the guys are very open minded, I had way more sexual contact with other men in a day than they had in a year....and for THAT particular reason, deep inside, their masculine egos could not handle once the feelings got deeper and the relationships did step up few notches towards serious commitments.

Can you handle insecurities in the bedroom.. it doesn’t matter how many years you have been hobbying? If you can’t …. Don’t do it…

Money:
This is a quote from a friend who is a provider “Just remember she is used to being worshipped by men, which can give any lady a big head. It is very easy for a provider to begin resenting her partner when she feels taken for granted since she is used to being showered with money and gifts by men for the "priveledge" of seeing her BCD” The providers that I have known on a basis outside that of provider/client and who tried to leave that world seemed to always be attracted back to it. Once they get a taste of how easy the money can come in it seems it is a hard lifestyle to give up.Somehow I don't think it's smart to change the beneficiary on your life insurance and to put her name on the bank accounts at least not until time and circumstance shows both your characters.

If she is not staisfied with your income and committed to be with you in good and bad days… don’t do it.


Personality:
During a visit we do see the better side of the lady, and she sees the better side of us. But that is the same with any new dating type of relationship. Both parties want to make a good first (second, third...) impression. It is not until we are comfortable with that person that we really open up, let our guard down and allow all of our sides to show, both the good and the bad. It's only after seeing all of the sides of a person, any person that we can weight their good point vs the bad that you can ask yourself the question. And it's not can you live with that person.... Its can you live without them.

The catch is finding some one who on their worst day you can put up with their shit and on your worst day will put up with your shit. If you find that person then hold onto them, and who cares what they do for a living.

Successful provider/client relationships are able to overcome jealousy, money conflicts, insecurities and other issues through honest communication, friendship, respect, love, and frequent mind-bending sex. But, isn't this true of all solid long-term relationships? I'm not saying that it is "right" or "wrong" that's for you to judge. It's very easy to have an opinion on this matter however until you experience it for yourself it's hard to understand. Originally Posted by Lucky40

Amen, Brother. It's just as much about you as it is her.

I would think the reasons you would date ANYONE (regardless of either party's occupation), still would be applicable to marry someone in the biz. Typically, you would have had to have an equitable relationship and the guy would have to be level headed enough not to negatively impact the relationship.

Few questions come to mind “not in particular order” you are the only person can answer for your self.

Is she still providing?

I think that marriage and/or relationships between provider and hobbiest will work, but I believe that both, the provider and the hobbyist, need to walk away from the biz if it is to work (I doubt you could handle the whole 'how was your day hun?" "Well my pussy is sore because my 2 o’clock pounded me too hard" part of actually being involved with an active provider).

PS: I also think that I can not judge (throw stones) when I myself partake in this hobby (live in a glass house.)

If a provider told you she wants to be with you but she won’t quit and she still would charge you for pleasure. That just shows you that she don’t like you for you she likes your money. To expect a provider to care for you emotionally is like asking your mailman to do your taxes. It's not in her list of services. Once she cares she will never charge you. By virtue of her occupation, must go out of her way to demonstrate the difference between that pro fantasy and real life. Originally Posted by Lucky40

Good input lucky40! One thing you have to think about though that at some point you were a client and thats how she made a living. I guess what im saying the money shouldn't matter too much. She shouldnt be demanding of it and you shouldn't feel as if you are entitled to it for free.

In order for ANY relationship to work out you have to be able to look through things and not step on the bullshit. I have tons of buddies who judge people because of their past or current profession. You cant dwell on the past though you have to see people for who they are.
I don't judge but I do ask myself questions"is this person on my level?, Does this person bring something positive in my life or unneeded drama?" etc etc. Sometimes were quick to judge others without really looking at ourselves first. I don't ever dwell on the past because it is what it is the past in some cases it might give me something to think about but in most cases I could care less. Can a relationship with a provider work? Yes, but both people involved must be willing to do their part to make it work. I see no difference in a relationship with a provider or civilian girl other than how mature we as men are about it.
As males our egos tend to get the best of us, I think thats what doesnt make it work. Thats just me though.

Up until recently I was engaged to a man that I met as a client. Turns out he's a hypocrite and compulsive liar with too many issues. These things only work if everyone is honest and on the same page with one another... but that's the case with any relationship no matter how they began.

It will never work, talk about being the Ultimate White Knight... and that is from personal experience. The whole experience taught me too much to mention as it will sound like a soapbox.

In general, providers are addicted to easy money or sex or both. You'd better have plenty of both at all times. I couldn't do it. I need to rest periodically - probably just age. It couldn't be a lack of interest.

Ouch.

Since 50% (or less) of marriages work .. meaning for life ... factor in the other conditions ... and IMHO ... keep on wondering ....

... you have heard the "joke" about leasing ....

if it flies, f*&^s, or floats ... rent it. Originally Posted by LexusLover

Figured Id dispell this myth...the actual divorce rate is far below 50%, the way the actually get that number is by taking the number of marriages in a year and dividing it by the number of divorces in a year...as you can imagine this presents a big problem b/c it doesnt take into account the divorces that didnt get married in that year.

that actual divorce rate is thought to be in the mid 30's a far cry from 50%...

I think any relationship can work as long as both ppl are willing to work at it and deal with the issues that come up in it. When you stop working at it is when it starts to go to shit. That being said some relationships have alot more shit than others

No offence, Rebecca. I still love you.

Hugs! Tomorrow is another day!