Providers Only

burkalini's Avatar
It's probably just because I am young but I have to say a big ole hell no. Sure, it get's lonely being single but I don't even have the patience/emotional energy for a pet. Seeing my family split left me aware enough of the pain that comes with relationships. I would much rather just be a provider and have friends. Originally Posted by TabooTanner

I agree until your ready don't take the plunge. As you know growing up if it goes bad it affects the kids alot. I grew up in that also. I think that's why when I did find the right one I worked so hard at it to make it good. As much as I like variety now I never really wanted anyone else the entire time I was married. Hey if you never get married it's no big deal. just enjoy life. Just make sure your really enjoying it.
The Perfect Man?...Does one really exist?...
burkalini's Avatar
The Perfect Man?...Does one really exist?... Originally Posted by Babylee

Not a fucking chance in the world is there a perfect anyone. Ders gooduns and baduns
Naomi4u's Avatar
The Perfect Man?...Does one really exist?... Originally Posted by Babylee
Nope but it's a nice thought.
The Perfect Man?...Does one really exist?... Originally Posted by Babylee
No such thing. But I've heard many a lady say that all the good men are either taken or haven't been born yet.
shorty's Avatar
The Perfect Man?...Does one really exist?... Originally Posted by Babylee
No such thing. But I've heard many a lady say that all the good men are either taken or haven't been born yet. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005
I think there are good men out there. Its all about chemistry, give n take, taking them for who they are, and not wanting to change them into something their not.
Sweet N Little's Avatar
There are good men, there just all hiding in Alaska ...I'm
Convinced damn igloos ..come out come out where ever you are!
London Rayne's Avatar
If you want to be away from the one you LOVE? for periods of time then I would suggest the word like is a better description. I understand needing space and not to hang on someones ass all the time but if you want to be away for more than a day or two then it aint love Originally Posted by burkalini
I disagree...love has nothing to do with time and space. I can be deeply in love with someone I have not seen for a year. Absence makes the heart grow fonder in many cases. Having to be with someone 24/7 to feel secure is obsession, not love.

How would you label military marriages? Just because you both allow each other the freedom to be who they are independently does not mean it's not love. Smothering a spouse is the main reason for adultery and divorce.

I am not suggesting you can't feel or want to be around them, but you also allow them to leave your wing now and then. I would never want to be stuck up someone's azz all the time with no life of my own...never. That's codependent behavior that says I can't live without you around me all the freaking time. I don't believe in doing certain things without them, but other things I do. I know many couples who never travel without the other...that much, I could agree with.
bojulay's Avatar
The Perfect Man?...Does one really exist?... Originally Posted by Babylee
Sorry I should have gotten with you sooner.
shorty's Avatar
I disagree...love has nothing to do with time and space. I can be deeply in love with someone I have not seen for a year. Absence makes the heart grow fonder in many cases. Having to be with someone 24/7 to feel secure is obsession, not love.

How would you label military marriages? Just because you both allow each other the freedom to be who they are independently does not mean it's not love. Smothering a spouse is the main reason for adultery and divorce. Originally Posted by London Rayne
Yep!!
burkalini's Avatar
I disagree...love has nothing to do with time and space. I can be deeply in love with someone I have not seen for a year. Absence makes the heart grow fonder in many cases. Having to be with someone 24/7 to feel secure is obsession, not love.

How would you label military marriages? Just because you both allow each other the freedom to be who they are independently does not mean it's not love. Smothering a spouse is the main reason for adultery and divorce.

I am not suggesting you can't feel or want to be around them, but you also allow them to leave your wing now and then. I would never want to be stuck up someone's azz all the time with no life of my own...never. That's codependent behavior that says I can't live without you around me all the freaking time. I don't believe in doing certain things without them, but other things I do. I know many couples who never travel without the other...that much, I could agree with. Originally Posted by London Rayne
I think I said if you WANT to be away from someone for an EXTENDED period of time because you need an extended period of personal space then it really isn't love. Its way too selfish to feel that way. I'm sure not saying the military marriages are even comparible because they HAVE to be separate. Thye are making sacrifices because they are serving our country. As a war wounded vet I can tell you one of the saddest things to hear though was some guy getting his dear john letter because his SO found some guy because she couldn't stay the course. Not a pretty sight. Hey I know my marriage was pretty unique but still being apart 6 mos of the year by choice is just not a healthy relationship. It's supposed to be a partnership and that's not being co dependent . Again just my opinion and what the fuck do I know
London Rayne's Avatar
We all have our opinions.

Any and every guy I have dated that I had to see every day, all day ended badly. The one man I could say I was truly in love with was one that had distance from me. He made me miss him, want him, long for him...that gets too common and trivial if one is around all the time. We never had the time to take each other for granted like many couples do today. Having space from a person so you can get your head straight is healthy.

As human beings we desire certain things apart from the people in our lives...does not mean we don't love them. I love my child more than anything, but I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy time on my own with adult friends...same with a spouse.

It does not mean going off to Vegas and looking at strippers for a week, but it could simply be a golfing trip for him and a few days at the spa for her. A partnership is not defined as not allowing the other person to have their own life within a partnership of marriage. You can be away from someone and still want them there, but also enjoy being apart. I don't buy that human beings cannot possibly relish being without each other for a few days...that sounds more like addiction and again, a codependent type relationship.

I miss someone I am in love with when they are away, but that does not mean I can't have girl's day or take off for a week. It makes me miss that person and want them even more when I return.
shorty's Avatar
For someone that's always been independant and single for my whole life, I can see where a long distance relationship would work best for me. This doesn't mean at some poin,t I wouldn't mind that person to move in with me or vice versa but that would come several years down the road. I'm a firm believer that a couple should live with one another for at least a year, to see how they actually are everyday. If you haven't killed each other and still love him/her just as much, then I'm all for getting married.
I have no interest in it right now. I like being alone for some reason. All my relationships in the past were dramatic and horrible. Mind you I was a terrible girlfriend... Mainly because I was selfish and way too picky.
This hobby has opened my eyes a little bit but it's made me trust men even less so I don't know. I'll probably go for a mormon when I'm done being a hooktard.
I think I have a problem, I tend to find something wrong with every man that I date! Its the married ones that I tend to fall for!! I hope to find that special one, but as of now it seems like a fantasy more than reality.