You just can't make up this stuff! ^^^^ LAMO ROTFL
Thanks all.
- RustyBalls
- 03-14-2019, 02:19 AM
- JadeRose
- 03-14-2019, 05:36 AM
This is hilarious!!
- tadpole39
- 03-14-2019, 03:03 PM
So my most remembered hobby experience was in 2017 when I had a late night outcall at the pizza place I worked at. I had a position where I had a store key and alarm code. So we met up there around 2am for an session in the office and the food prep area. So far that's the most unexpected place I've had fun at so far.
- Dirtyoldergentleman
- 03-14-2019, 06:26 PM
Provider was swallowing my load and lots of cum blew out her nose
High velocity shot - I thought it was funny 😆
High velocity shot - I thought it was funny 😆
- Greycowboy
- 03-19-2019, 01:04 PM
I’m having a Greek session with a provider I’ve seen many times. Usually when I about to unload I withdraw and she removes the cover and finish’s me orally. But this time she goes berserk,yelling at me that I removed the cover and was barebacking her! After I get her calmed down we go to the bathroom for better light and there sticking out barely visible is the condom. We had a good laugh, she said it actually felt pretty good when I was fishing around to get it out!
- DallasRain
- 03-24-2019, 09:28 PM
I hate showers but I told a gent I would...so while I was behind him washing his back & butt,I slipped and fell..bruised my tailbone!
- JadeRose
- 03-25-2019, 12:21 AM
Man, it would be difficult to jog my memory for the MOST memorable but a few of the most:
An overnight date at a nice hotel, nice dinner and walk, great conversation which really made it memorable, lots of enjoyable anal (which I can’t normally take due to men having larger size), he ate like a whole box of chocolates out of my clean booty and pussy, played chess in bed, woke up and randomly played around throughout the evening
90 min oral session- he came like 12 times very intensely
5 women & 2 men free for all group play session
Hunter grace pulling me from behind her glory hole where I had just serviced someone, to join them for a threesome where they both dommed me for (hours?)
Ahhh soo much fun, now I’m excited!....
An overnight date at a nice hotel, nice dinner and walk, great conversation which really made it memorable, lots of enjoyable anal (which I can’t normally take due to men having larger size), he ate like a whole box of chocolates out of my clean booty and pussy, played chess in bed, woke up and randomly played around throughout the evening
90 min oral session- he came like 12 times very intensely
5 women & 2 men free for all group play session
Hunter grace pulling me from behind her glory hole where I had just serviced someone, to join them for a threesome where they both dommed me for (hours?)
Ahhh soo much fun, now I’m excited!....
- TemptationTammie
- 04-08-2019, 10:10 PM
I've had lots of fun times.
One of the most memorable was fulfilling a fantasy where we met at a local bar like strangers, flirted and left together. Followed by multiple rounds over a couple of hours.
One of the most memorable was fulfilling a fantasy where we met at a local bar like strangers, flirted and left together. Followed by multiple rounds over a couple of hours.
- Wyatt Soup Remy Cyst
- 04-09-2019, 08:09 AM
I've had a lot of comical experiences. Sometimes ladies get mad when they tell you to pull out and you cum inside em. I've had a couple ladies tell me their husbands or boyfriends were gonna beat them if their men found my sperm inside them. One time I shot my load in this chick's mouth and she spat my sperm all over the car parked next to us. One time I came in this chick in the laundry facility of an apartment complex. I nutted inside her then she pulled a towel out of a dryer, wiped her pussy off and then threw it back in the dryer. I also creampied a girl in the planned parent of parking lot.
- tex4354125
- 04-09-2019, 11:54 AM
RW encounter:
I went back home for the holidays one year. I don’t like to stay with family when I go home, because they exhaust me pretty fast. A friend of mine texted me, to offer a place to stay. Her grandparents had passed away in the last few months; she inherited their house and was in the process of selling it, but offered to let me crash there. She let me know that realtors may be coming by to show the place, so I was told to keep quiet, keep clean, and stay out of the way.
The first night I was in town, I ran into a girl I used to know 15 years ago... I met her while she was dating a guy I knew back then. I had always wanted to fuck her, but I didn’t want any drama with this dude so back then, I stayed away. But, there were some times back then when she let me know I definitely had a shot (most memorable: we were together at a crowded bar and out of nowhere, she grabbed my hand and put it up her skirt - no underwear - and started rubbing it over her pussy... the place was so packed that no one saw)
Jump back to 15 years later: she’s in town, I’m in town, we’re both single and in our 30’s, and after catching up over some drinks and a few shots we were making out in the back of a dive bar. She lets me know that she’s definitely DTF but she’s staying with her parents. I decided to roll the dice and bring her back to my friend’s dead grandparents house.
We snuck in (friend was sleeping down the hall) and I brought this chick to my room, which used to be the grandmother’s room. It still had all the grandmother’s stuff in there; there was a bed, a vanity, a big comfy chair, lacey stuff and crossstiching everywhere, etc.
We turned the lights off, got undressed, and I fucked this girl with an energy I haven’t had before or since then. We went at it like pornstars and fucked in every position, on every available surface of this room... on the floor, up against the vanity mirror, on the chair, all over the bed, all night long, I think I came like 6 or 7 times. Easily some of the best sex I’ve ever had.
We only slept a couple of hours and then at 7am, my friend lightly knocked on the door to let me know she was going to work, and that some people were coming to look at the house at 10. The whole time, me and this girl were giggling like teenagers trying not to get caught.
As soon as friend leaves, she asks me: “want to go one more round and take me home?” The sun is now up and I can actually see her for the first time. I climbed on top of her and noticed for the first time that my hand was bloody.
I pulled the sheets away, and I looked like I’d been shot. My torso was smeared with blood. She saw it and sighed and said, “shit. I must have gotten my period.” She then started explaining how she had an IUD, and it made her only get a period 2-3 times a year, but when she got it it was always really messy.
I was barely listening because I was looking at the room. It looked like a crime scene. Blood everywhere. Smeared on the walls. Bloody handprints on the mirror. All over the rug, the bed sheets, everywhere. Then I remembered that in about 3 hours, people were coming over to POTENTIALLY BUY THIS HOUSE. I looked at the girl and said, “go shower. I have to get you out of here.”
I had to drop her off across town. Come back. Find cleaning supplies. Scrub down the walls, the carpet, the chair, the mirror. Couldn’t figure out how to work the washer and dryer. Had to take to bloody bedsheets (in my rental car) to a laundromat like that scene in American Psycho. If I had gotten pulled over, there was no way I wasn’t getting taken in for questioning.
I got everything back to normal at 9:52 that morning, was literally scrubbing the last of the period blood off my hands when the realtor’s car pulled up outside. She came into the house, and I’m standing there, probably shaking, sweating, drying my hands, dehydrated from fucking all night. I just said “hey, I was just leaving” and took off out the side door.
This is the first time I have ever told this story to anyone. Hope you enjoyed it.
I went back home for the holidays one year. I don’t like to stay with family when I go home, because they exhaust me pretty fast. A friend of mine texted me, to offer a place to stay. Her grandparents had passed away in the last few months; she inherited their house and was in the process of selling it, but offered to let me crash there. She let me know that realtors may be coming by to show the place, so I was told to keep quiet, keep clean, and stay out of the way.
The first night I was in town, I ran into a girl I used to know 15 years ago... I met her while she was dating a guy I knew back then. I had always wanted to fuck her, but I didn’t want any drama with this dude so back then, I stayed away. But, there were some times back then when she let me know I definitely had a shot (most memorable: we were together at a crowded bar and out of nowhere, she grabbed my hand and put it up her skirt - no underwear - and started rubbing it over her pussy... the place was so packed that no one saw)
Jump back to 15 years later: she’s in town, I’m in town, we’re both single and in our 30’s, and after catching up over some drinks and a few shots we were making out in the back of a dive bar. She lets me know that she’s definitely DTF but she’s staying with her parents. I decided to roll the dice and bring her back to my friend’s dead grandparents house.
We snuck in (friend was sleeping down the hall) and I brought this chick to my room, which used to be the grandmother’s room. It still had all the grandmother’s stuff in there; there was a bed, a vanity, a big comfy chair, lacey stuff and crossstiching everywhere, etc.
We turned the lights off, got undressed, and I fucked this girl with an energy I haven’t had before or since then. We went at it like pornstars and fucked in every position, on every available surface of this room... on the floor, up against the vanity mirror, on the chair, all over the bed, all night long, I think I came like 6 or 7 times. Easily some of the best sex I’ve ever had.
We only slept a couple of hours and then at 7am, my friend lightly knocked on the door to let me know she was going to work, and that some people were coming to look at the house at 10. The whole time, me and this girl were giggling like teenagers trying not to get caught.
As soon as friend leaves, she asks me: “want to go one more round and take me home?” The sun is now up and I can actually see her for the first time. I climbed on top of her and noticed for the first time that my hand was bloody.
I pulled the sheets away, and I looked like I’d been shot. My torso was smeared with blood. She saw it and sighed and said, “shit. I must have gotten my period.” She then started explaining how she had an IUD, and it made her only get a period 2-3 times a year, but when she got it it was always really messy.
I was barely listening because I was looking at the room. It looked like a crime scene. Blood everywhere. Smeared on the walls. Bloody handprints on the mirror. All over the rug, the bed sheets, everywhere. Then I remembered that in about 3 hours, people were coming over to POTENTIALLY BUY THIS HOUSE. I looked at the girl and said, “go shower. I have to get you out of here.”
I had to drop her off across town. Come back. Find cleaning supplies. Scrub down the walls, the carpet, the chair, the mirror. Couldn’t figure out how to work the washer and dryer. Had to take to bloody bedsheets (in my rental car) to a laundromat like that scene in American Psycho. If I had gotten pulled over, there was no way I wasn’t getting taken in for questioning.
I got everything back to normal at 9:52 that morning, was literally scrubbing the last of the period blood off my hands when the realtor’s car pulled up outside. She came into the house, and I’m standing there, probably shaking, sweating, drying my hands, dehydrated from fucking all night. I just said “hey, I was just leaving” and took off out the side door.
This is the first time I have ever told this story to anyone. Hope you enjoyed it.
- Whispers
- 04-10-2019, 01:08 PM
Sunday morning Sept-11-2011
A 20yo provider I had been seeing somewhat regularly had spent the night . Mid Morning waking up cuddling led to a wake-up round that came to a very successful conclusion in missionary. Basking in the after-glow enjoying the sound of her heavy breathing and OMG's I simply could not resist.
I pinned her wrists to the bed out to the sides of her head pressing down on her body to hold her in place and gently said......
"Who's your Grand-Pa!"
She screamed and bucked and threw me like a mean bull in the rodeo finals after less than 3 seconds!
I guess the reality of the moment was a little lost on her!
In my defense... It WAS Grandparents day and I was in fact a grandfather!
A 20yo provider I had been seeing somewhat regularly had spent the night . Mid Morning waking up cuddling led to a wake-up round that came to a very successful conclusion in missionary. Basking in the after-glow enjoying the sound of her heavy breathing and OMG's I simply could not resist.
I pinned her wrists to the bed out to the sides of her head pressing down on her body to hold her in place and gently said......
"Who's your Grand-Pa!"
She screamed and bucked and threw me like a mean bull in the rodeo finals after less than 3 seconds!
I guess the reality of the moment was a little lost on her!
In my defense... It WAS Grandparents day and I was in fact a grandfather!
- JadeRose
- 04-10-2019, 09:09 PM
RW encounter:Crying with laughter!
I went back home for the holidays one year. I don’t like to stay with family when I go home, because they exhaust me pretty fast. A friend of mine texted me, to offer a place to stay. Her grandparents had passed away in the last few months; she inherited their house and was in the process of selling it, but offered to let me crash there. She let me know that realtors may be coming by to show the place, so I was told to keep quiet, keep clean, and stay out of the way.
The first night I was in town, I ran into a girl I used to know 15 years ago... I met her while she was dating a guy I knew back then. I had always wanted to fuck her, but I didn’t want any drama with this dude so back then, I stayed away. But, there were some times back then when she let me know I definitely had a shot (most memorable: we were together at a crowded bar and out of nowhere, she grabbed my hand and put it up her skirt - no underwear - and started rubbing it over her pussy... the place was so packed that no one saw)
Jump back to 15 years later: she’s in town, I’m in town, we’re both single and in our 30’s, and after catching up over some drinks and a few shots we were making out in the back of a dive bar. She lets me know that she’s definitely DTF but she’s staying with her parents. I decided to roll the dice and bring her back to my friend’s dead grandparents house.
We snuck in (friend was sleeping down the hall) and I brought this chick to my room, which used to be the grandmother’s room. It still had all the grandmother’s stuff in there; there was a bed, a vanity, a big comfy chair, lacey stuff and crossstiching everywhere, etc.
We turned the lights off, got undressed, and I fucked this girl with an energy I haven’t had before or since then. We went at it like pornstars and fucked in every position, on every available surface of this room... on the floor, up against the vanity mirror, on the chair, all over the bed, all night long, I think I came like 6 or 7 times. Easily some of the best sex I’ve ever had.
We only slept a couple of hours and then at 7am, my friend lightly knocked on the door to let me know she was going to work, and that some people were coming to look at the house at 10. The whole time, me and this girl were giggling like teenagers trying not to get caught.
As soon as friend leaves, she asks me: “want to go one more round and take me home?” The sun is now up and I can actually see her for the first time. I climbed on top of her and noticed for the first time that my hand was bloody.
I pulled the sheets away, and I looked like I’d been shot. My torso was smeared with blood. She saw it and sighed and said, “shit. I must have gotten my period.” She then started explaining how she had an IUD, and it made her only get a period 2-3 times a year, but when she got it it was always really messy.
I was barely listening because I was looking at the room. It looked like a crime scene. Blood everywhere. Smeared on the walls. Bloody handprints on the mirror. All over the rug, the bed sheets, everywhere. Then I remembered that in about 3 hours, people were coming over to POTENTIALLY BUY THIS HOUSE. I looked at the girl and said, “go shower. I have to get you out of here.”
I had to drop her off across town. Come back. Find cleaning supplies. Scrub down the walls, the carpet, the chair, the mirror. Couldn’t figure out how to work the washer and dryer. Had to take to bloody bedsheets (in my rental car) to a laundromat like that scene in American Psycho. If I had gotten pulled over, there was no way I wasn’t getting taken in for questioning.
I got everything back to normal at 9:52 that morning, was literally scrubbing the last of the period blood off my hands when the realtor’s car pulled up outside. She came into the house, and I’m standing there, probably shaking, sweating, drying my hands, dehydrated from fucking all night. I just said “hey, I was just leaving” and took off out the side door.
This is the first time I have ever told this story to anyone. Hope you enjoyed it. Originally Posted by tex4354125
- nothingtolose
- 04-10-2019, 10:06 PM
Moaning competition
I just came back from a session, legs and fingers still shaking, but cannot wait to share my once-in-a-life-time experience:
Went to see a provider in a hotel starting with E at north I35/183; ran into a provider I know in the hallway and thought "Wow, must be a lot of providers here!".
When approaching room #x34, heard noisy moaning from room #x32. Instead of knocking the door at #x34, I stopped there for about half a minute and just listened the moaning (no body was in the hallway because that section is at the very back of the hotel). The concerto of pounding and moaning made me feel so horny - the performance was so real and much better than porn video!
When I saw my girl (saw her before, so no warming up time), I asked her "is the girl next door your friend?". "No. I don't know her but I know she is also a provider".
She could not believe it when I told her how loud the moaning was. She turned off the TV, and we could hear the moaning from her room too.
"Let's have a moaning competition and beat them". She did not reply and just smiled shyly.
We both undressed as quickly as we could and skipped all the foreplay. My dick was already woody and her pussy was already dripping.
Alternating with power fucking in standing mish and two finger G-spot messaging. My girl started to moan as loud as she could while I pounded and fingered her as hard as I could. Please note the TV in our room was turned off just like the next door!
My girl was apparently in the competition mood and came twice with one squirting.
I could image how much fun a cleaning lady could have if she was in the hallway at the that time.
I just came back from a session, legs and fingers still shaking, but cannot wait to share my once-in-a-life-time experience:
Went to see a provider in a hotel starting with E at north I35/183; ran into a provider I know in the hallway and thought "Wow, must be a lot of providers here!".
When approaching room #x34, heard noisy moaning from room #x32. Instead of knocking the door at #x34, I stopped there for about half a minute and just listened the moaning (no body was in the hallway because that section is at the very back of the hotel). The concerto of pounding and moaning made me feel so horny - the performance was so real and much better than porn video!
When I saw my girl (saw her before, so no warming up time), I asked her "is the girl next door your friend?". "No. I don't know her but I know she is also a provider".
She could not believe it when I told her how loud the moaning was. She turned off the TV, and we could hear the moaning from her room too.
"Let's have a moaning competition and beat them". She did not reply and just smiled shyly.
We both undressed as quickly as we could and skipped all the foreplay. My dick was already woody and her pussy was already dripping.
Alternating with power fucking in standing mish and two finger G-spot messaging. My girl started to moan as loud as she could while I pounded and fingered her as hard as I could. Please note the TV in our room was turned off just like the next door!
My girl was apparently in the competition mood and came twice with one squirting.
I could image how much fun a cleaning lady could have if she was in the hallway at the that time.
- RustyBalls
- 04-11-2019, 12:47 AM
I was over seeing one of my long-term provider friends and had brought her some balloons to help celebrate her birthday.
As we were getting real serious back in the bedroom, we heard this extremely loud noise coming from the front of the apartment--sounded like someone had kicked in the front door or something else just as horrendous.
We hopped up and went to investigate--found the balloons had become entangled with the rotating ceiling fan, with one exploding and the others flopping around, making an awful noise. We both had a good laugh once we realized what had happened and turned off the ceiling fan.
Best thing was watching my naked provider friend up on a step stool, stretching on her tip toes, untangling the balloons from the fan.
Most people would say that a gentleman should had done the work himself but I support female liberation and I wouldn't have missed seeing that beautiful girl up there, sexy and naked, reaching, and stretching to get the balloons down from the fan.
Years later, we still laugh about the day the front door was supposedly "kicked in" during a session.
As we were getting real serious back in the bedroom, we heard this extremely loud noise coming from the front of the apartment--sounded like someone had kicked in the front door or something else just as horrendous.
We hopped up and went to investigate--found the balloons had become entangled with the rotating ceiling fan, with one exploding and the others flopping around, making an awful noise. We both had a good laugh once we realized what had happened and turned off the ceiling fan.
Best thing was watching my naked provider friend up on a step stool, stretching on her tip toes, untangling the balloons from the fan.
Most people would say that a gentleman should had done the work himself but I support female liberation and I wouldn't have missed seeing that beautiful girl up there, sexy and naked, reaching, and stretching to get the balloons down from the fan.
Years later, we still laugh about the day the front door was supposedly "kicked in" during a session.
- VictoriaLyn
- 04-11-2019, 02:26 PM
Comical:
I was giving head and a goofy song came on the radio and with out realizing it my head was bopping along to the song which he found entertaining and asked me to keep it up till end of song....
Fast forward about 45 minutes later when we realized this song has been on way too long and I was still bopping away to it..He was holding back and hadn't cum yet so we kept going...
Now we are an hour into it with same song going on the radio.turned out the dj was playing a prank and the song was going to play until someone called in with the correct answer to something...
The song was Um Bop from the Hanson brothers
I was giving head and a goofy song came on the radio and with out realizing it my head was bopping along to the song which he found entertaining and asked me to keep it up till end of song....
Fast forward about 45 minutes later when we realized this song has been on way too long and I was still bopping away to it..He was holding back and hadn't cum yet so we kept going...
Now we are an hour into it with same song going on the radio.turned out the dj was playing a prank and the song was going to play until someone called in with the correct answer to something...
The song was Um Bop from the Hanson brothers