A Lonely Profession?

mwebber - I am sorry for the loss of your provider friend.

I am married to a wonderful woman.
I have a beautiful Sugar baby that is now my mistress
I have a great paying job in the field that I love.

I feel alone almost all the time, I get depressed about it as well.
You can be with a million people and still feel alone.

The people she was with were clients, thats all.
No different than when you go into a meeting with someone from outside your company.
They will leave, forget all about you and move on to the next meeting. Thats it.
Some can handle it and some cant. Feel bad someone checked out but it is what they wanted to do. It sucks

Dark chocolate and extended doses of vitamin d helps =)[/QUOTE]

So does a daily shot of Wry Humor, neat.

mwebber - I am sorry for the loss of your provider friend. Originally Posted by gigi_gypsy

Thank you Gigi.

She was a very sweet, friendly, mature woman. I hadn't seen her in some time for different reasons, most of them my own, one though being that she was quite a loquacious one. I hate hearing of anyone's suffering so in a small part I'm relieved she's at peace. Suicide sadly has been inherent in our culture since the beginning of time.

I believe someone once said (paraphrasing) "You are only alone if you don't like the person you're alone with." Insecurity and depression unfortunately got the best of her.

I can't say if it's common or not but I definitely feel exactly the same way as your friend did...the only reason I haven't splattered my brains on the wall a long time ago is to see what new and depraved torture the gods have in store for me next. Seriously, it's at the point where all I can do is laugh about it. Life is fucking ridiculous and from what I gather it can get pretty lonely for hobby guys too so it's not solely a provider thing. C'est la vie. We all make choices and I choose to laugh off what I can.

Recently, I came across some sad news... a provider friend had committed suicide.

I knew of her depression, yet she had always appeared stable so the news was quite a surprise. In googling her name to learn about arrangements/dates, I stumbled upon a personal yahoo post where she lamented about her loneliness. It was a clear cry for help. She stated unless it improved she would off herself before her upcoming birthday... and unfortunately she did.

Now it seems counter-intuitive that an escort, who has plenty of opportunity to engage a variety of people through her line of work, would be so terribly lonely. Are these emotions common or isolated within the profession? Originally Posted by mwebber

I can't say if it's common or not but I definitely feel exactly the same way as your friend did...the only reason I haven't splattered my brains on the wall a long time ago is to see what new and depraved torture the gods have in store for me next. Seriously, it's at the point where all I can do is laugh about it. Life is fucking ridiculous and from what I gather it can get pretty lonely for hobby guys too so it's not solely a provider thing. C'est la vie. We all make choices and I choose to laugh off what I can. Originally Posted by Reya Sunshine

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As long as you can laugh you got a chance. Dont stop you never know what is around the next turn. Stay strong.

Isn't this a twisted web we weave when a provider is lonely because she can't get close to a client for numerous reasons and a client sometimes feels lonely because a provider won't allow him to get close. Both parties missing a piece of the puzzle which neither one can satisfy. Lets face it, if we were individually satisfied on every level we wouldn't be meeting each other like this. We have proven we can fuck without emotional attachment but it doesn't mean we don't miss it at some point down the line.

I think that's what I miss most about my real life relationship with my S.O., So I seek it out an hour at a time. Sometimes it's not just about sex...or so I have learned. I imagine its certainly harder to deal with for the girls. So ladies help each other out if you notice one of your girls are down.

Now lets bump uglies and forget about all these real world problems ...damn it man

I'll admit i live the life of a lonely woman. I don't know any 'civilians' who could identify w/me on my type of 'secret' lifestyle that i could share this with.

It's a sad an lonely world that we all live in. We all, in someway make a place in it that makes us feel secure and cared about. Emotions are like a roller coaster and we are all here for the ride, how we ride it and how fast it goes depends on the people around us and the situations that we are faced with. We make the most of things because we can and because we must. At the end of the day we can say we're here because it's all worth it and because we know someone out there actually cares. Life is good, but it's also short, so live like there is no tomorrow.....ijs

Have known quite a few ladies in the hobby that chose to leave this world...for some it is a lonely world feeling that the only way they can be treated nicely is too be paid for it.

I have been succesful in stopping a few from doing it too....by just listening and being friends
outside the hobby.

Depression is hell, I know all about it....even worse when coupled with the loss of someone
close. Find ANYONE to talk too...and if cant here is a number that works 24/7

1-800-273-8255 Suicide/Help Line Originally Posted by OklahomaSooner

I can't say if it's common or not but I definitely feel exactly the same way as your friend did...the only reason I haven't splattered my brains on the wall a long time ago is to see what new and depraved torture the gods have in store for me next. Seriously, it's at the point where all I can do is laugh about it. Life is fucking ridiculous and from what I gather it can get pretty lonely for hobby guys too so it's not solely a provider thing. C'est la vie. We all make choices and I choose to laugh off what I can. Originally Posted by Reya Sunshine

Jesus Christ. Why would any beautiful gorgeous woman want to kill herself??!!

Now if she was old ugly and fat I could understand

And WTF is a suicide hotline? When I'm feeling clinically depressed and want to blow my heart out...I am not going to call an 1 800 number...so the cops can come pick me up - let's not forget suicide is a crime in this country...put me on prozac, throw me in the loony bin btw for which I will be billed for later LOLLL ....gosh being depressed can become expensive

You can be with a million people and still feel alone.

The people she was with were clients, thats all.
No different than when you go into a meeting with someone from outside your company.
They will leave, forget all about you and move on to the next meeting. Thats it.
Some can handle it and some cant. Feel bad someone checked out but it is what they wanted to do. It sucks Originally Posted by Gotyour6

It's called being an introvert. Ain't nothing wrong with that. I used to have a painting in my bedroom with Solitude written all over it with a blue background. Yea I'm a loner. So what. It's Peaceful

Isn't this a twisted web we weave when a provider is lonely because she can't get close to a client for numerous reasons and a client sometimes feels lonely because a provider won't allow him to get close. Both parties missing a piece of the puzzle which neither one can satisfy. Lets face it, if we were individually satisfied on every level we wouldn't be meeting each other like this. We have proven we can fuck without emotional attachment but it doesn't mean we don't miss it at some point down the line. Originally Posted by beezdat

Yea it's a bitch. Maybe I'll figure out the solution when I get old, wrinkly and wise.

A long time ago, there was a provider who committed suicide on a local board in another state where I had worked. She was missed by everyone and it was known that it wasn't so much loneliness as it was her depression that she had created a world in which she had to keep on working and working to keep up her lifestyle, not to mention support her pimp husband. She simply could not deal with working anymore and for so long, and she shot herself. It was really sad. But in the years that I have worked I've known a handful of girls who sadly did take their own lives, due to depression that included isolation and loneliness as well as despair. They will always be in my prayers.

That being said, this profession can be a lonely one, but you have to be sure to balance it out by hopefully having another job in which you can interact with others. For me, I'm an only child, and I have a personality that has always been best suited to being self-employed and working alone without anyone else telling me what to do. So escorting has suited my personality in many, many ways, not just financially. I work best alone, and being solo doesn't bother me, it energizes me. I crave the solitude too when I come home from a busy tour and want to just be alone and relax with my cats.

Other things though that help are talking with and communicating via PM and e mails or on boards with other working ladies, because only a working lady can know what another one is going through.

Jesus Christ. Why would any beautiful gorgeous woman want to kill herself??!!

Now if she was old ugly and fat I could understand Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina

Classless

I think Zabrina was just being facetious, I doubt she seriously believes that old, fat or ugly women should kill themselves and even if she did believe it I truly doubt she'd be dumb enough to say that in a place where she's trying to appeal to potential clients.

For all we know she might have just been feeling sad about her own life and maybe feeling her own body needs a tune up since she created a thread about plastic surgery soon after her post here.

In any case, it's just a SHMB no one should take it to heart (wish I could follow my own advice on that sometimes though!).

Classless Originally Posted by mwebber

Jesus Christ. Why would any beautiful gorgeous woman want to kill herself??!!

Now if she was old ugly and fat I could understand

... Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina

Wow. Just wow.

I think Zabrina was just being facetious, I doubt she seriously believes that old, fat or ugly women should kill themselves and even if she did believe it I truly doubt she'd be dumb enough to say that in a place where she's trying to appeal to potential clients.

For all we know she might have just been feeling sad about her own life and maybe feeling her own body needs a tune up since she created a thread about plastic surgery soon after her post here.

In any case, it's just a SHMB no one should take it to heart (wish I could follow my own advice on that sometimes though!). Originally Posted by Reya Sunshine

Yeah I think that's what she meant. How sad for her.

Im so sorry to hear about your friend. Its very sad.
Its not the first time I have heard of a provider doing this.

What I can say, like many others is that it may have not been the providing.

I have been away for awhile ( 2 years) and I miss it a lot. Im never alone anymore and I miss the alone time to myself on the road.

I may not be the normal case, but Id rather enjoy the company and fun of a cleint/ friend for a hour, where we both accept and feel good about ourselves, then be in a full time "rea"l realtionship with someone who is no fun or makes me feel like crap. Now thats depressing.

and confiding in a friend in the real world has never come without judgement or trouble for me.
They may say they dont judge me, but it always come out that they do in some way. We all judge.

again Im sorry for the loss of a wonderful, giving sister in this world.

Dallas, I am proud of you. You have always had a kind word and helped everyone when you can. Thats something thats says you are a ood person with a big heart.