There are some very interesting and informative posts and I hope the lurkers are paying attention.
I do feel like I need to clarify a couple of things. I can tell by the responses and some of the PMs that part of my message was misunderstood.
I’m not lonely …. and I’m not seeking OTC Eccie friends per se. I already have some of those and have developed many friends in this manner (who... BTW started out as client regulars).
The dilemma lies in how to continue to “hide” my hobby activities from people I deal with in the civvy life.
I was at one time a really good liar …. (maybe still am) ...and very creative about it.
But over time … it tends to take over your personality and before you know it … your lying about shit that doesn’t even matter.
It is apparent by many posts here the best thing to do is keep your mouth shut …. or spend time OTC with those in the same arena.
THAT, however is what pisses me off (not that I don’t like spending time with my ECCIE friends) …. But it’s too bad I cannot hang out for extended periods of time with neighbors and parents in my life circle.
My family is always up in my face asking questions …. and I know they do this because they love me … but hell …. I cannot confide in any of them!
If they ask too many questions … about my “JOB” I’m afraid I will slip up.
I would love to just say …. Well yes, I make a damn good living providing companionship for respectable gentlemen.
Then they would reply …. Oh! Yes! That must be a very exciting career! (yeah right …. In my dreams).
* ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * **
Hardroad69 – wow … you must have an interesting life … not many in your position!
Dallaswill- yes, I have tried an “alternate” cover and I have more business cards than you can shake a stick at – Life Coach, Consultant, Event Planner … all that, it just doesn’t work when family and friends want details of how the “business” is going and asking specifics.
Sometimes they can see it in my eyes …. Or maybe the sweat that starts to bead up on my forehead (as I concoct a new scenario) …. and I get a very strange look coming back at me.
Pyramider – I do embrace my taint … and I do have peace …this is just a fork in the road and I have to determine whether to go left or right.
If I did post taint …. What … would you lick the screen and pretend?
TE214 – It is not that I cannot “get along” with anyone …. The problem is that I get along with EVERYONE. Try to wrap that around your head – your big head.
(Why am I even noticing your post)?
Vivienne Rey – you are a mystery woman no doubt. I was intrigued by your response and so I checked out your “profile” …. and I get that you have the luxury of keeping this world private.
You definitely have the right attitude for someone in your position.
…There are plenty of judgmental folks inside and outside the hobby, but somewhere there are folks you'll see eye to eye with, just keep looking.
Originally Posted by Iaintliein
Your right. There are plenty of eclectic groups on Meetup.com – I’m sure they would not judge. I’m totally serious! I should seek out some new friends in those type gatherings.
… Exception being my spouse, who isn't thrilled about it, but she knows I need the outlet.
Originally Posted by mtabsw
Lucky you? I hope she learns to get “thrilled” about it …. I see a bad storm in the distance.
I did lose a job I really loved ….. was living a whole new life then bam it was taken away.
Best part is I don't have to hide my life from certain people anymore I can just be who I am and screw em if they don't like it.
Originally Posted by Jules Jaguar
Sorry you lost your job Jules – that sucks.
I wish it was easy for me to just say “screw em” …. But when talking about my family or people in my family circle … that is a bit tough.
You do have a great perspective though ... and that is encouraging!
People I want to be real with, know. I'm in a weird circle of folks these days, so they may not get to know right away, but pretty soon. As I told the person I was speaking with, I bat about 50/50. If I lose them, etc. well, it wasn't really going to work anyway. If I keep them, and we deal with it, they are some really great people to me. I like being able to be myself, nothing like it.
Originally Posted by FireKitten
That is a very healthy view of your situation …. and you are lucky to have the ability to control it.
Two people can keep a secret if 2 conditions exist.
1. One person is dead.
2. Both people have the same risk and no other factors could ever relieve that risk for either party even perceptually.
Condition 2 is really impossible so that leaves only one way for two people to keep a secret.
Originally Posted by grean
Are you suggesting I kill my family?