We have providers; what about your SO?

Shorty, London and Naomi,

I respect your points of view, but I'm hobbying because I am working far from home (for several years already), my SO keeps refusing to leave our beautiful resident by the ocean in the west coast (sic) ... I'm not blaming her.

However, I have no choice, I'm a man, I have my need. "self-serve" is bad and unacceptable.

I am paying for the pleasure in hobbying, my commitment to marriage and family remains the same, to me hobbying is not really "cheating"... feel free to "chip" in.

No point in having an SO if your going to cheat on him/her. I agree with London and Naomi with being faithful to your SO. Guess I'm more of a Traditionalist. Originally Posted by shorty

Exactly what SixxBach said.

I cannot speak for London or Shorty but I will say this.

There are a lot of providers that are married. Their husband's don't see their job as cheating. To those guys, It's just a job. Now if their wives started sleeping with another man FOR FREE, it was considered cheating.. get it now?

The men that I dated in the past had a hard time with me fucking other men/fucking for money. My ex had a hard time with me being a hooker *gasp*. He wanted me all to himself.. surprise surprise! He couldn't handle it and even when I tried to explain to him that it was just a job.. it killed our relationship. I don't blame him. I really DON'T want a man that is ok with me escorting. If he's ok with me escorting, I would wonder what else is OK to him . I could not be a hooker and have a normal relationship. I'm a sucker for "true love", a true "hopeless romantic" *sigh* and I plan on being 100% faithful to my husband one day.

A lot of you will disagree with me but that's fine. Until you've walked in my pumps there's nothing much you can say. Yes you can come up with all the reasons you want as to WHY you are cheating on your wife but that does not make it right. This is why I have MAD respect for swingers: It's all done in the open. Both parties knows what's up. Not my thing but I do respect those that are honest with their spouses.

Exactly what SixxBach said. Originally Posted by Naomi4u

Most people simply rationalize the hobby as "saving marriages" so they don't have to deal with the guilt of doing it lol. Call me a realist but if a hooker is the driving force that's saving a relationship....well, I will just leave it at that. Most men I see are not deluded into believing that...they simply like the kitty on occasion. I would never sleep with a married man for free, nor would I cheat on someone I was dating...that's just me though.

I am also very naive to the strength it takes to be married for 20 and 30 years because I have never had a relationship that long, so I am sure there are many things I don't know about. What I do know is that when "I" make a decision, I stand by the promise I made or I let that person go. People today don't fall in love based on decision any more, but out of emotion and that's a dangerous thing IMO. Being a person who is ruled only by their emotions, numb to everyone else's feelings, seems to be the norm today.

This is a job to me...plain and simple. Makes no difference whether I enjoy the sex or reap the benefits of the money and travel...I would NOT be here if I were in a relationship. That would be the only way I would quit the hobby for good...if I were to fall in love.

And of course the hobby is cheating...wtf? If you are not in an open relationship where you AGREED to this, it's cheating. You may not be cheating emotionally in the sense that you're not looking for love here, but gimme a break...it's still cheating.

For some women, all they want is to secure their man comes home and don't care who he sleeps with. Other women, would never put up with that kind of crap. If the only way I could keep a man was to let him screw other women, I don't need or want that kind of person in my life.

Damn!! I finally agree with SixxBach!!LOL

It's a funny thing, you know, about humanity that clever speech is often the wardrobe of raw hypocrisy.

In today's world, its sad to say that people believe in what have you done for me lately, both in business and personal life. With this said, making a relationship last is something that takes alot of give and take between both parties.

No point in having an SO if your going to cheat on him/her. I agree with London and Naomi with being faithful to your SO. Guess I'm more of a Traditionalist. Originally Posted by shorty

If sex makes or breaks your realationship with your SO, then you my dear have some major issues!

I have an SO, I would give my life for. I love him so much, and we share a house, kids, and a life together. Being together for 12 year, we have been through a lot....I have sacrificed so much to be with him, and he has done so for me also.

My hubby and I both have various play partners. We are open with each other about it, and honest. It is BECAUSE we have such of an open and honest, respectful relationship with each other that we are so close, and feel as though we are soul-mates.

Please don't knock others choices. I think being in this lifestyle, you would know that not everyone is the same, and you would have more of an open mind.

Most people simply rationalize the hobby as "saving marriages" so they don't have to deal with the guilt of doing it lol. Call me a realist but if a hooker is the driving force that's saving a relationship....well, I will just leave it at that. Most men I see are not deluded into believing that...they simply like the kitty on occasion. I would never sleep with a married man for free, nor would I cheat on someone I was dating...that's just me though.

I am also very naive to the strength it takes to be married for 20 and 30 years because I have never had a relationship that long, so I am sure there are many things I don't know about. What I do know is that when "I" make a decision, I stand by the promise I made or I let that person go. People today don't fall in love based on decision any more, but out of emotion and that's a dangerous thing IMO. Being a person who is ruled only by their emotions, numb to everyone else's feelings, seems to be the norm today.

This is a job to me...plain and simple. Makes no difference whether I enjoy the sex or reap the benefits of the money and travel...I would NOT be here if I were in a relationship. That would be the only way I would quit the hobby for good...if I were to fall in love.

And of course the hobby is cheating...wtf? If you are not in an open relationship where you AGREED to this, it's cheating. You may not be cheating emotionally in the sense that you're not looking for love here, but gimme a break...it's still cheating.

For some women, all they want is to secure their man comes home and don't care who he sleeps with. Other women, would never put up with that kind of crap. If the only way I could keep a man was to let him screw other women, I don't need or want that kind of person in my life. Originally Posted by London Rayne

ditto for you. Like you said, you don't understand what is involved in a true relationship. I don't allow my man to screw around just so I can keep him. That is not it at all. You don't understand it, you shouldn't be talking down about it.

Honey, you need to learn to properly read what I am saying because I am not talking "down" about anything. Just because I don't agree with those types of relationships does not mean I am dogging you out for doing so. I really don't care what you choose to do with your life, so you need not worry about the way I live mine. I have never had to go through such lengths to be close to someone, and I never will.

I don't consider a soul mate someone who sleeps with strangers everyday, but maybe you do. To each their own. That's simply not the lifestyle I want to raise my child in...period.

I see a lot in this hobby that I don't agree with such as incest and many other things I won't mention for fear of offending someone, but that's my opinion only. I choose to surround myself with likeminded people, as I am sure you do. Of course you let your man screw around...you're doing the same thing lol. I would never date or marry someone while I am doing this, so my situation would be different!

A "true relationship" is one that can suffer and sacrifice and STILL remain true, not one that lives a life based only on self gratification IMO. Where is the hard work in that lol. My parents have been married 40 years and I can't ever even recall a night where my father came home 10 min. late. They still have sex after all this time, and they are best friends. I guess some people just don't put sex as number one, so they focus on other things. Wow....what a concept lol.

To each their own. That's simply not the lifestyle I want to raise my child in...period. Originally Posted by London Rayne

Most definitely agree with this for sure.

A "true relationship" is one that can suffer and sacrifice and STILL remain true, not one that lives a life based only on self gratification IMO. Where is the hard work in that lol.

A "true relationship" is one that can suffer and sacrifice and STILL remain true, not one that lives a life based only on self gratification IMO. Where is the hard work in that lol. Originally Posted by London Rayne

We have both suffered and sacrificed very much. I also will never withhold any great experiences from him, including getting a BJ at work from the sexy new girl in the office. IMO it would be selfish for me to withhold that from him.
He knows I am a sexually free being, and he would not withhold anything from me that I would enjoy.

The sacrifices I mentioned were not sex related. Mostly family and livelihood related. Our life together and our marriage together are not, and never will be based on sex. If you would like to be closed minded to it, and not consider the fact that there are real, true, soul-mate relationships that are not based on a physical need, then that would be a lost opportunity for you to grow and learn as an individual.

I'm not saying that you should try it, or that you are wrong for not trying it, I am merely saying that you should consider that there is more out there.

I don't need that kind of "more out there" in my life hon...I am quite content with the way it has turned out thus far. If I were dating a man who just could not resist that hot girl at the office, I would not withhold him from doing it...he knows where the door is lol. This may come as a shock, but not every man out there jumps on every lustful emotion he feels. Some have self control, just as I do. Not everyone lives a life where the next nut is all they are worried about, and I am one of them.

I don't understand how you can state such a paradox of "Your marriage is not based on sex", and in the same breath say, "But we don't withhold sex with other people." That is a huge contradiction. If your marriage was NOT based on sex, why do both of you have to have it with other people? I just don't get it I guess, and it's really none of my business anyway. I simply don't care for that in my own life.

I don't need that kind of "more out there" in my life hon...I am quite content with the way it has turned out thus far. If I were dating a man who just could not resist that hot girl at the office, I would not withhold him from doing it...he knows where the door is lol. This may come as a shock but not every man out there jumps on every lustful emotion he feels. Some have self control, just as I do. Not everyone lives a life where the next nut is all they are worried about, and I am one of them. Originally Posted by London Rayne

It is a fool to argue with a fool. I see that again you didn't not fully understand what I was saying, or bother to consider what I have brought to the table for discussions sake. I will just excuse myself now.

I do get what you're saying, but I am simply NOT interested in having that crap in MY LIFE...thanks! Do what you want, and stop worrying about what I do. How simple is that? This "fool" won't ever be in that situation, because I don't need it. I have many friends who are in these types of relationships and I still respect them...I just don't have to live that same way.

I believe in God yet have friends who don't...we are still friends. Just because you can't make me agree with your way of living lfe, does not mean either one of us is wrong. You are a grown woman who has to live with the choices you make, and so am I.

London, I like to believe I'm contributing to saving marriages one bj at a time. Don't piss on my cheerios here, lol.

Shorty, when are we going to Vegas?