I Want a Dom or Master . but can't have one ...because ...

I am a submissive sugar baby/provider, I advertise that I am in the BDSM lifestyle and I would estimate that at least 80% of the people who reach out to me are Doms or are interested in being Doms. I have no problem finding dominant men to pay for my time. It's a niche market. Originally Posted by bustybabygirl

Bustybabygirl,

Freaking awesome write up in your showcase! What you have written and how it is written addresses much of what i was trying to get at in my earlier post. I have no doubt you have a high level of response.

You also hit a good point for Jill to consider which it is a niche market that can be done - and done well.

I have been watching this thread trying to figure out how to comment. I don't think that a long term D/s relationship would work with him paying for your time. You seem to want a Dom, something long term. Someone to really explore with. That requires getting to know a person, communicating with them a lot, not just making appointments periodically. Sure you can find dominant men to play with, maybe repeat customers, but it is still a provider/customer relationship that happens to be on the kinky side.Why not find a Dom to feed your submissive needs and to push your limits, a real relationship that can grow. Develop trust and truly explore with each other. That would be your RL relationship. As long as you are both OK with it, you can still be a provider, even adds a very interesting new dimension to the D/s relationship. Hard to find that Dom? One that is confident enough to allow it? Yes it probably would be. But I know for sure it is possible.I am not judging what you want, we are all different, that is what makes the world interesting. I just don't see what you are looking for working with him paying for your time. If I understand what you are looking for correctly

I have been watching this thread trying to figure out how to comment. I don't think that a long term D/s relationship would work with him paying for your time. You seem to want a Dom, something long term. Someone to really explore with. That requires getting to know a person, communicating with them a lot, not just making appointments periodically. Sure you can find dominant men to play with, maybe repeat customers, but it is still a provider/customer relationship that happens to be on the kinky side.Why not find a Dom to feed your submissive needs and to push your limits, a real relationship that can grow. Develop trust and truly explore with each other. That would be your RL relationship. As long as you are both OK with it, you can still be a provider, even adds a very interesting new dimension to the D/s relationship. Hard to find that Dom? One that is confident enough to allow it? Yes it probably would be. But I know for sure it is possible.I am not judging what you want, we are all different, that is what makes the world interesting. I just don't see what you are looking for working with him paying for your time. If I understand what you are looking for correctly Originally Posted by bule84

So are you a dom and wanting to explore things??????

So are you a dom and wanting to explore things?????? Originally Posted by Taylor Sims

I am a Dom, I was just commenting with my thoughts on her situation

Bustybabygirl,

Freaking awesome write up in your showcase! What you have written and how it is written addresses much of what i was trying to get at in my earlier post. I have no doubt you have a high level of response.

You also hit a good point for Jill to consider which it is a niche market that can be done - and done well. Originally Posted by mm-good

Thank you! Very kind words.

Any more thoughts from anyone ? I want to say a big hearty...Thank you. - to everyone !!!! Excellent words of wisdom !!!! Yes ...looking for a Dom ...but maybe not as a client ..or?. maybe a few sessions as a try out period ...so we can try out each other .... but yeah ....hard to find a R.W. partner and yeah ...hard to find a good/very good Dom .... so it will be quite a search / journey. Or even better if he falls right into....My lap .!!! I love the hobby !!! I love men !!! ha . Just saying. Love ya... Naughty . ♡

Jill,

have you considered moving to the DFW area? Much bigger pool of men. Bound to find more than a few, pardon the pun. As far as the hobby goes, have you considered giving it up for a DOM that would take care of any financial needs you have? I Don't know much about this topic but from what I do know and by the simple definition , the DOMS expect you to submit. If you just want to feel powerless and controlled for a brief hour or two, I'm also sure you'll find that just a couple hours north.

Well I enjoyed reading all the responses, BUT as a Dom, that has a collared sub, its really not practical to find a submissive on here, for me it took along time to cultivate and trust my sub, and I know vise versa. Yes I am on here and have got some needs fixed thru here and the occasional BP slag. But just knowing that your paying for the sub, takes away from the experience, in my humble opinion. In the back of my mind would always be " is she really liking this, enjoying this, or because I am paying her?' Are there asswipes on here or fet that want it free? sure. Having the D/S relationship cant be bought, a session can take an hour or two or a long weekend, up to and including a full time live in situation. Now I am just adding my opinion, take it for whats its worth.

This thread is going in a peculiar direction...

I'll reiterate, in my opinion, being paid as a sex worker is not antithetical to the role of being submissive. Based on what some folks are suggesting, professional Dominants can exist, but professional submissives are oxymoronic.

In my personal experience, submitting in a hobby context is no less real than submitting in my personal life. Moreover, being compensated doesn't negate the authenticity of the consensual power dynamics and types of play that occur between a submissive sex worker and a Dominant client .

I'd be wary of that logic. I've had great sessions with Dominant clients. Though I did have a bizarre session where a client, at the very end of a session, tried to use the logic that p4p makes interactions less real to "convince" me to reduce my donation by $100. He coded his request as me proving my "devotion" to him.

But if I didn't believe in p4p, whether when providing submissive services or vanilla GFE services, I wouldn't be here.

I do not think this thread is suggesting anything oxymoronic. I have had several p4p Dom/sub encounters and they were totally fun and wonderful. I'm suggesting it is different than when not in a p4p scenario.

At least that has been the case for me. I do have a lovely provider friend with whom I enjoy this type of session with but (so far) it is still has been different than my Dom/sub experiences hat were not p4p.

We all love p4p or this board would not exist. I am not suggesting that Dom/sub session cannot be p4p or that it is any less authentic. Just different.

I'm sure it is possible for many to get what they want from a Dom/sub p4p session. I have no doubt it is a very authentic power exchange dynamic, etc. - I even experiences that. While these have been great session for me, I find the Dom/sub relationship outside the p4p world goes places well beyond my p4p experiences.

Have you had a p4p Dom/sub relationship where you lived out the lifestyle? I am open and curious curious to learn more from your perspective on this.

My hope is that the discussion can help the OP find what works for her and meets her needs.

Maybe what I'm looking for . Although hard to find . Is an actual Dom /. Sub ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Relationship . Where he will do p4p....For me at first ~~~ To see if we both click. And maybe even do a Sugar daddy situation for me. Later on . I don't want to hobby for 5 or 10 years . . . But only if I meet all the needs he has . And vice versa. This will be hard to find. Especially since I'm a bbw. Big beautiful woman . Not ugly at all. I'm cute . Fun . But not 21. And not a size 10. But I have a lot to offer . I promise . ok. I went off the topic a little bit . My apologies . I know that a good Dom.sub. relationship is not going to be p4p. So- maybe I'm trying to find other ways to get there. And still find that fulfillment . Happiness. I've had 23 years of pain . Now that I have happiness ~~~~~~~
I love it . !!! I'm not going back !!!! love u all. Naughty Jill.

Jill,

I think you are incredible and a sexy, beautiful woman!
You have such a great attitude and terrific talents you will certainly attract what it is you seek.

In the mean time, I'm happy to enjoy time with you ...even after you meet the person you are seeking if it is part of your arrangement

I have some good advice. Find a Dom/master on FL to train you for free. Get experience- go to a party. Establish a rapport with dommes and say your interested in learning. Then go utilize your skills for select few clients who may be into BDSM.

I want a good Dom or good Master so fu####ng...bad it's not even funny ...but one problem. I'm an Escort . A very good Escort . Doing well. Not just gonna give that up . Lol . . Most Doms or Masters ....do not do pay for Play... or ... donate to the sub/slave... they are seeing . Can I have my cake and eat it too ? ? How ??? Is the real question ..... How and is it possible ?? I can't exactly post all that shit .on my profile and showcase. It will scare all the vanilla guys away. Also I am not trying to take advantage of the Dom or Master Im with by asking him for a $$$$ donation. Every time . But if I get a Dom...or Master who ... wants me for free every time . All the time . Isn't he taking advantage of me ????? And trust me I've got a list going of the men... who want me for free. Long list. Lol....... No . Way !!!! Any help or humor or advice appreciated . Love yall♡♡♡ Naughty Jill♡♡.

No comment

I think as a provider you need to learn to separate your personal and professional lives. If I'm in any kind of relationship, vanilla or D/s. then I don't expect money to be a factor at all. That's not taking advantage or being taken advantage of; that's being in a normal healthy relationship. If a provider marries, does she expect her husband to pay by the hour? Why would you expect your Dom to do the same?