The threads about dating a provider

Remember the good old days when she would jump in your car first, say drive and then ask you if you want a date!

I'll take a swing at this and answer your question from my perspective (since I can't speak for other guys). Its really threefold. One maybe I don't want an LTR with a woman. Maybe I see my other friends in disastrous, and toxic, relationships and I want to insulate myself from that. Maybe I like the variety of being with different women. Mayb e being with the same woman is boring. Second, honestly, what is the end game of dating a woman? To get her into bed (and then hope something more develops). And that is an iffy thing if you're just dating a woman. You spend money on dinner, clubs, etc, and there is still no guarantee that there is going to be any sex. At least with this hobby, it's a foregone conclusion. Lastly, if you're dating a woman, you have no idea if she even likes you. Maybe she is using the opportunity to take advantage of you, both financially and emotionally. With the hobby it's basically a business transaction. You know the providers are offering themselves up in exchange for money. No pretense here. Originally Posted by chuckinolathe

Very good Chuck:

I will take a swing it too. I have been married three times; the first two wives died. The third I take care of, but .....!

First: the hobby kept me sane after my first wive died of breast cancer. Needed sex; but needing sex doesn't mean that you are ready to jump into a relationship, especially with kids involved.

When it was time to find a second wife: it was time to hold interviews for the job of helping me raise the kids. When you are looking for a wife, you are looking for a lot more than just sex. You are trying to find a life partner - so treat it like such. Do not let your little head do the thinking for your big head.

More guys need to think about how important a woman can be in your life: she is not just a sex object, but a partner, lover, mother to your children, cook, public relations person representing you, and the household purchasing agent. If she is all of the above, she wants your full attention in the sex department; and she deserves it.

A partner is a lot more than a provider.

However, sex by itself is still important. When it comes the time that sex is needed do not confuse the two. When you need a provider to keep things in order: pick one who also needs sex, and enjoys the encounter for herself. Forget those who are not going to treat you with the respect you deserve. Just walk away. There are others.

JR

Women in general are always looking for the next best thing.
They would be asking for money constantly or be out all night.
Providers often have moody ass personalitys and lack of.
What's the pillow talk I had 3 chinese 2 asian 4 chocolate 4 vanilla 2 jumbo and a cherry.
How about when you see a provider a couple times don't see her for awhile call and she's a B. Like you did something to her.
Or calling you texting you I miss you come see me.

I wouldn't say all women are looking for the next best deal, or even most depending on how you define it. Clearly, there is that cadre, though, and I've known a few (who remarkably chose less than the best for their perception of security and lifestyle, perceived necessity of circumstances). It's kind if remarkable and curious at the same time on that issue if not somewhat complicated. But so are arranged marriages in some cultures.

I once heard a psychologist observe women are security seeking creatures. You can easily observe that, but not with a sweeping generalization since everyone seeks that, but that also isn't what was really meant, either, in context.

I would date a provider, and see nothing wrong with it if you both keep your eyes open. Sometimes you click or enjoy someone on a deeper level, in fact prefer it, and it's nice to know the score, no pun intended. Besides, it's good to experience attraction under circumstances not based on a 'deal.'

Dating a provider is just like dating anyone else. I work, I come home, I cook, clean, take care of the house, and screw the hell out of him like anyone else's girlfriend would. The only difference is Monday through Friday from 10am to 10pm I can be someone else's rented girlfriend. When I am in a relationship with someone we talk about my other job, just not to much into detail about this one. Their is a separation between who Andrea is and who I am. Me being a provider doesn't make or break who I am as a person. If I ever found someone that could totally complete me, then yes, I may walk away from the hobby, but until then I will keep my Civie boyfriend and my Hobby boyfriends, and my few hobby husbands. Because put them all together and I have one hell of a man that gives me everything that I need.

Kisses,
Andi

Madonna-Whore Complex.

I have said for 30 years: "The only people that the relationship has to make sense to are the ones in it!" Originally Posted by Sporty1200

+1000

Amen, brother, amen!!!!

I have great respect for the providers I have known (and the ones I will cum to know) but to have a LTR with one seems unlikely. The women I have known that are not in the hobby (to include the one I married and divorced) are for the most part not nearly as "aware" as providers and that does make the provider very appealing - they get it - so to speak. That may well be though, in part, why a LTR with a provider is unlikely because they see, understand and are active in this "underground society" , a fantasy society that I can walk in and out of but as they interact with me they can not.
In addition, I have often desired and succeeded in becoming a "regular" of a provider because it is comfortable, easy and familiar - a nice and limited business relationship. Then! The fourth date that is set for every Thursday can't happen because of a hair appointment, the kid's school recital, car repairs, a required shopping experience or some other issue that precludes the aforementioned appointment. Now I'm back to the limitations and aggravations of a non-hobby, non-business relationship. Oh, and by the way, my rates have increased by 50%...see you Thursday unless something comes up.

as long as i'm providing, i'm not dating anyone. it just doesn't make sense in my mind. it seems to me that any man that is cool with his lady being a provider, stripper, porn star etc, etc, has no intentions on sticking around for the long term.

personally i would never date anyone i met in the hobby. when i'm ready to settle down and get married or decide to date, my significant other won't know a thing about this part of my life.

as long as i'm providing, i'm not dating anyone. it just doesn't make sense in my mind. it seems to me that any man that is cool with his lady being a provider, stripper, porn star etc, etc, has no intentions on sticking around for the long term.

personally i would never date anyone i met in the hobby. when i'm ready to settle down and get married or decide to date, my significant other won't know a thing about this part of my life. Originally Posted by thetanekaadventures

wow that's messed up that you would hide this part of your life from a future spouse..... to many things from your past could come up and mess things up. that's whack!

wow that's messed up that you would hide this part of your life from a future spouse..... to many things from your past could come up and mess things up. that's whack! Originally Posted by reorox

well if it comes up i will address it then, if not, that's even better!

people marry for 20 years and decide they don't love each other anymore on year 21 and empty out each other bank accounts

now imagine sharing something personal such as hobbying or providing and years later you are no longer loved, no matter who that person is, a best friend, a lover a boss, they may decide to use that info to hurt you further, and empty out your bank account!

wow that's messed up that you would hide this part of your life from a future spouse..... to many things from your past could come up and mess things up. that's whack! Originally Posted by reorox

Do you intend to tell a future fiance that you used to hobby? Probably not. Its up to the woman if she chooses to share this part of her life with a significant other after she has left the business.

I can't say what I would or wouldn't ever do considering that is a long time and who knows what values I or society will have at that time, but as it stands right now, if I were to start a relationship tomorrow I would surely not tell her I have been seeing escorts for nearly two years.

As for how would it go with a man and a woman with the lady working in this industry, who knows how it would go? Each individual would have to come to terms themselves on how they handle that type of relationship. It requires communication and genuine emotions between the two for it to even get to the point of that type of situation.

The only question I pose to ladies is in a relationship, would they allow their "man" to see providers, of course he would be using his own funds for said providers.

Do you intend to tell a future fiance that you used to hobby? Probably not. Its up to the woman if she chooses to share this part of her life with a significant other after she has left the business. Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

Dropping a quarter into a pinball machine isn't the same as running an arcade, either.

Invoking the logical fallacy of false equivocation doesn't really help clear things up, does it?

Dropping a quarter into a pinball machine isn't the same as running an arcade, either.

Invoking the logical fallacy of false equivocation doesn't really help clear things up, does it? Originally Posted by NoahScape

It is not a false equivalency. This hobby of ours is predicated on discretion for both parties. That principle doesn't end simply because one retires from the hobby. How much or how little you reveal to a significant other is always up to you. The fact that a woman is a former provider doesn't change that prerogative. It is however, a bit of a double standard for any guy to believe it is acceptable to keep his participation in this hobby to himself, while believing that a woman who chooses to do the same is "messed up".

We all have your dirty little secrets that we choose not to share with others, even those who have never participated in this hobby.

The fillip to this hypothetical of course, is that secrets have a way of coming out eventually. If a woman chooses to keep her former career to herself, she runs the risk of losing the relationship when or if the secret comes to light. Again though, its her prerogative to decide whether to run that risk or not.