Hobby perspective after some years?

Here is what I have learned in the hobby date nothing is black and white. Originally Posted by Thatdude

You mean "No AA"? Lol

Sorry TD, couldn't resist! I honestly can't imagine how shitty that feels.

No you are right, but most things in life are that way are they not? Everything but death and taxes anyway....

Edit: that sooooo didn't come out on screen the way I meant it. I consider myself sympathetic to those issues and was only trying to make light of a serious subject. I apologize if I offended anyone.

You mean "No AA"? Lol

Sorry TD, couldn't resist! I honestly can't imagine how shitty that feels.

No you are right, but most things in life are that way are they not? Everything but death and taxes anyway.... Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Too many ladies to worry about NBA.

Another thing I have learned you never know who knows who in hobby. Most hobbyist on this site dont review nor post. Until a situation may arise and compels them to respond. Then you are like I didn;t know you knew etc etc etc It is amazing the behind scenes relationships or friendships that exist in the hobby world. I will just leave it at that.

... EN, I had many bad experiences years ago at the beginning of my hobby mainly due to my lack of knowledge on how to research or reviews ...
I was in the same situation as TTH going blind through the yellow pages hoping that someone had made a written note about an add in the escorts section ... the only thinh I found once was someone had circled a phone number along with a check mark on an add ...
Im thankful for google and how its been sn awesome research tool
Originally Posted by DarthDVader

Oh, yeah, I was definitely lucky to have walked into the hobby with all of this (review boards and the like) set up and waiting for me. You guys who arrived on the hobby scene before that are, like, pioneers, lol. I can only imagine what it was like, but you describe it well. Fortunately, y'all got together and eventually found a better way, and everybody (the guys and ladies alike) benefits from it.

Jaime, I appreciate much your insight and honesty as always ...
Like you when I started it for me the hobby was more about a physichal reward ...
For the record, you are not and cant be a plastic doll ... I can confirm that by just by reading your posts ... I truly beleive you set the bar high for who a companion is ...

I agree with you about boundaries and i have to thank you because in the arrangement we have even though we have become great hobby friends, the line of boundaries has always been very clear ... this helps to keep jealousy and competition away ...

I used to think it was just about the Fcuking. Since being here about a year and half I've learned that there are two extreme ends of the hobby spectrum: those who want a live plastic doll to bang the hell out of and those who want to fall in love with anyone who treats them like they are the center of their world for a few hours despite how much they know the lady tells all her other lapdogs the same story (unfortunately, i saw this extreme very recently and still can't make sense of it, but I digress).

Anyway, ya two ends. Most guys fall somewhere in the middle where either they want at least a minimum effort of IOP (GFE or PSE), be it sincere or not, or they want more of a mental/emotional IOP while still keeping hobby boundaries intact. More mature hobbyists who have been at this awhile may desire the latter due to a number of factors (physical and/or psychological) and they just want more of an overall girlfriend experience rather than the hot n heavy 'wam-bam' session. Nothing wrong with either type of hobbyist Imho its just a matter of preference. Kind of like the difference between the words "whore" and "companion". It's all in the eyes of the beholder and there is absolutely nothing wrong with either one.

I think once you become an experienced provider you have the ability to adapt to either expectation but tend to gravitate to one or the other based on personal preference and the type of hobbyists you attract over time. That being said, its always good to have balance so you don't lose sight of the big picture. I love being a "whore" sometimes and a "companion" other times. The key is knowing where to draw the line and not fcuk people over by leading them into believing things that aren't real.

I learned a long time before providing that the rainbow of deception never leads to anything good - not even when its a pot of gold. Not all money is good money.

Great thread btw. Really enjoyed reading what's already been posted. Very insightful! Originally Posted by thathottnurse

That Hot Nurse, What you said and how concisely written that was, 100%!! Best, most truthful post I have read in a long time!! Truer words were never spoken, thank you!

I used to think it was just about the Fcuking. Since being here about a year and half I've learned that there are two extreme ends of the hobby spectrum: those who want a live plastic doll to bang the hell out of and those who want to fall in love with anyone who treats them like they are the center of their world for a few hours despite how much they know the lady tells all her other lapdogs the same story (unfortunately, i saw this extreme very recently and still can't make sense of it, but I digress).

Anyway, ya two ends. Most guys fall somewhere in the middle where either they want at least a minimum effort of IOP (GFE or PSE), be it sincere or not, or they want more of a mental/emotional IOP while still keeping hobby boundaries intact. More mature hobbyists who have been at this awhile may desire the latter due to a number of factors (physical and/or psychological) and they just want more of an overall girlfriend experience rather than the hot n heavy 'wam-bam' session. Nothing wrong with either type of hobbyist Imho its just a matter of preference. Kind of like the difference between the words "whore" and "companion". It's all in the eyes of the beholder and there is absolutely nothing wrong with either one.

I think once you become an experienced provider you have the ability to adapt to either expectation but tend to gravitate to one or the other based on personal preference and the type of hobbyists you attract over time. That being said, its always good to have balance so you don't lose sight of the big picture. I love being a "whore" sometimes and a "companion" other times. The key is knowing where to draw the line and not fcuk people over by leading them into believing things that aren't real.

I learned a long time before providing that the rainbow of deception never leads to anything good - not even when its a pot of gold. Not all money is good money.

Great thread btw. Really enjoyed reading what's already been posted. Very insightful! Originally Posted by thathottnurse

A very smart lady with an excellent response.

Good thread topic.

And that is what makes it a rewarding challenge IMO, because we are humans with different needs and wants ... different ages and cultures, but with one same purpose ...

Here is what I have learned in the hobby date nothing is black and white. Originally Posted by Thatdude

Too many ladies to worry about NBA.

Another thing I have learned you never know who knows who in hobby. Most hobbyist on this site dont review nor post. Until a situation may arise and compels them to respond. Then you are like I didn;t know you knew etc etc etc It is amazing the behind scenes relationships or friendships that exist in the hobby world. I will just leave it at that. Originally Posted by Thatdude

That's why its important to treat others how you want to be treated bc money can't hold your hand when all else is lost.

Thanks guys. I bet this thread will bring out a lot of really good responses. its a great question.

... and Ladies, I know the perspective for you is different than us men, but how time has changed your expectations about your clients and your hobby bussines? I understand that this are two totally different points of view, interesting both ...
Im really interested on hearing your opinion ladies and gents ...
Originally Posted by DarthDVader

After a year of providing, I have realized that being a provider is more than laying on your back - this is an art. There is an art in communication; There is an art to having sex; There is an art to the Illusion of Passion. In a nutshell, being a provider is not as easy as it seems.

...Even after learning the art of seduction and satifaction, I do fear that it will be a challenge to offer this art as a genuine expression of love. My expression of love is a fantasy that had been bought and sold. Its easy to become jaded, but what can a young single woman think when most of her lovers are married?

(But this is just my personal life, and it doesn't matter when you do business. Business is Business and money moves people more than any emotions.)

In conclusion, as a provider, I paint the fantasies that my lovers wish to encounter with me. The bed is the canvas and our bodies are the paint. My actions are the paintbrush that creates the memory captured in an hour of my time.

With this being said, I'm more interested in learning how the hobby changes men and their perspectives over time. Men come and go daily in my life to never be seen and/or heard of again. Even if they have seen me on multiple occasions, all good things must come to an end. But alas, with all the different people there are in this industry, I suppose the hobby will never loose it's luster, and the opportunity to find something (or someone) that you have never found before is the drive that turns hour sessions into days, weeks, months, or years...

Anyways, </ deep philosophy>

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas everyone!

The hobby has made me communicate more openly and specifically with my SO about sex issues I may have previously hinted at.

My first arranged appointment (I had some single years in the 80s where I picked up ladies on a popular street), was for L1 only and I felt guilty afterwards. As my participation progressed, I realized that falling in love or getting emotionally involved was the furthest thing from my mind. I have the love of my life at home.

When I hobby, I want to spend some time with someone I enjoy being with. This isn't any different than which guy I may associate with. If I don't like a person, I'd just as soon not have them around me.

The ladies I see are adaptable to just talking, cuddling, and attempting other things that may not be working. Thus the need to enjoy the company. As THN has observed, it is not just about fucking. Yes, tender touches can cause an arousal and BBBJs feel good. It is also rewarding to see what a lady goes through when she is made to feel good. But the draw is a combination of attractions and sex is just part of it. Take any one of the components out and you have chosen the wrong partner for the session.

In a nutshell - the hobby is fun. You meet interesting people and get to make each other feel good.

BSB ... thank you for sharing your thoughts ... I agree with you that the hobby is an art and it should be like that ... Like the real Geishas in Japan, trained since young age in many disciplines with the sole purpose of entertaining ...

What worries me is your statement about how it is an art of an ilussion of a true expression of love ...
After sometime do you face the possibility of loosing the REALexpression of love in a real relationship?

Could us guys get vaccinated with a fantasy that doesnt really exists but for an hour? and then what?

After a year of providing, I have realized that being a provider is more than laying on your back - this is an art. There is an art in communication; There is an art to having sex; There is an art to the Illusion of Passion. In a nutshell, being a provider is not as easy as it seems.

...Even after learning the art of seduction and satifaction, I do fear that it will be a challenge to offer this art as a genuine expression of love. My expression of love is a fantasy that had been bought and sold. Its easy to become jaded, but what can a young single woman think when most of her lovers are married?
[/B] Originally Posted by brownsugarbaby

OG +1 ... I think we have exchanged pm's on the subject ...
which makes me remember how different we can be ... In my case my Italian heritage makes me be passionate and emotionally romantic by heritage ... some people would find this feelings intrusive ...I am libra as well, so add that to the equation ...

The hobby has made me communicate more openly and specifically with my SO about sex issues I may have previously hinted at.

My first arranged appointment (I had some single years in the 80s where I picked up ladies on a popular street), was for L1 only and I felt guilty afterwards. As my participation progressed, I realized that falling in love or getting emotionally involved was the furthest thing from my mind. I have the love of my life at home.

When I hobby, I want to spend some time with someone I enjoy being with. This isn't any different than which guy I may associate with. If I don't like a person, I'd just as soon not have them around me.

The ladies I see are adaptable to just talking, cuddling, and attempting other things that may not be working. Thus the need to enjoy the company. As THN has observed, it is not just about fucking. Yes, tender touches can cause an arousal and BBBJs feel good. It is also rewarding to see what a lady goes through when she is made to feel good. But the draw is a combination of attractions and sex is just part of it. Take any one of the components out and you have chosen the wrong partner for the session.

In a nutshell - the hobby is fun. You meet interesting people and get to make each other feel good. Originally Posted by OldGrump

BSB ... thank you for sharing your thoughts ... I agree with you that the hobby is an art and it should be like that ... Like the real Geishas in Japan, trained since young age in many disciplines with the sole purpose of entertaining ...

What worries me is your statement about how it is an art of an ilussion of a true expression of love ...
After sometime do you face the possibility of loosing the REALexpression of love in a real relationship?

Could us guys get vaccinated with a fantasy that doesnt really exists but for an hour? and then what? Originally Posted by DarthDVader

Arigato, DarthDVader ,

An illusion is simply an illusion. I'd like to think that the illusion "alludes" to something more passionate and realistic than the feeling of being with a blow-up doll. (Blow-up dolls are filled up with hot air anyway). Hence, the reason why some hobbyists tend to gravitate to a GFE session rather than romp with a provider who does not offer the GFE experience where a "connection" can be established. It's only human nature that we tend to gravitate to things that are perceived to be more "real". But in reality, we still end up with a stranger in the bed.

Rod Stewart - Passion

However, I do believe the Blow-Up doll is an accurate & true representation of what most men do when they are filled with nothing but carnal desires. But is a blow up doll (An object of pleasure) an representation of love? I certainly hope not! ....And providers (Women of pleasure) certainly shouldn't be either even if we are a bit more "life-like". No matter how realistic the artist made the blow-up doll or how realistic the GFE experience was, it's something that was created out a someone's fantasy. Not the reality.

As far as real relationships goes, I will never lose my ability to express myself, especially in more ways than one. But what's the point of expressing myself when it's not genuine?

Once you can established a common ground between reality and fantasy - everything is finally black and white. In almost everything, it seems that we spend our reality trying to live-out our fantasies; we spend our fantasies wishing that they were part of our reality.

And I'm ending this here because I feel like I've just wrote the prequel to great novel and I also feel like I'm about to hiJACK this thread.

I totally agree BSB, balance in life keeps us whole ... and you are most welcome to write chapter 2 ... that's what this thread is for ... LOL

Arigato, DarthDVader , ...

Once you can established a common ground between reality and fantasy - everything is finally black and white. In almost everything, it seems that we spend our reality trying to live-out our fantasies; we spend our fantasies wishing that they were part of our reality.

And I'm ending this here because I feel like I've just wrote the prequel to great novel and I also feel like I'm about to hiJACK this thread. Originally Posted by brownsugarbaby