Elisha. so my nephew rory and i were in vegas for new years, and i had brought this pretty cool kinda reggae chick i knew as elisha. (later in the trip, she said no sex 'cause she said i didn't pound her hard enough. so i said, give me one more shot, and you won't be able to walk tomorrow, i promise you that. but nope, which got her banned at the trip's end lol. but thats another story.)
anyway, i was asleep back at the hotel after driving straight from h-town to vegas, only stopping to climb squaw peak mountain in phoenix, which is where i grew up, and rory is showing her around vegas. this kid is a bad mofo.
at one point, rory and elisha get separated by about 40 feet. she walks out of the lobby of the Excalibur, while rory is a bit back.
this gal accidently brushes up against a pos car kind of idling in front of the main casino entrance. its held together by freakin painted duck tape (ya i know, i prefer duck tape over duct tape, sorry.)
so the driver gets out and starts screaming at Elisha. by this time, rory has caught up. he pushes elisha kind of behind him, and says, "say again, bitch? i don't think i heard you correctly."
by now the dude has realized that he'd made a grevious error and was in way over his head. the guy stammers, "oh wait, my bad. i didn't know you two were together."
and rory says,"i'll give you 30 seconds to gtfoh, otherwise you'll end up wishing you had."
this guy's like, "ya no worries. i was already on my way."
so i hear this story a little later, and elisha says that rory is straight up gangsta. I was like, i know. you can't make until the final day of hell week without being a little nuts.
so later the three of us are heading to my car so we can catch some downtown action. all of a sudden rory stops, and points to a car, and elisha starts to laugh uncontrollably.
rory annouces, "bitch, what's that you said again? don't brush up against my pos car? ya i'm gonna brush up against your pos car if i feel like it."
and this is where shit went off the rails. he looks at the front bumper held together by duck tape. and in one quick motion, completely rips off the front bumper.
"dont touch your pos car? what if i feel like touching it?" and he rips off the rear bumper. elisha and i were folofao
honestly, i think rory was just getting started. i pointed to the closest parking lot camera.
"umm, i was thinking maybe we should sorta roll on out right about now."
and rory said, "ya maybe that's not a bad idea."
we hustled to my car, and i burned rubber getting tf outta that parking garage lickety split. no cops or security tailed us going out. once the coast was clear, i said, "rory, you are one crazy motherfucker. you get ptsd from war, or is that just your personality?"
he looks right at me, and says,"maybe a little. and i may have a mild case of ptsd too."
and i was like, "get some counseling. you get that shit for free at the va." that managed to get a bit of a grin outta him.
"and little my ass. no freakin qualifiers needed." and all 3 of us start laughing hard, pretty much until all of our stomachs hurt.
when we were kings (or queens)..
oh ya, and for pitt, this chick is cool af, reasonable donations but not gfe. she asked me to write a review, but i told her i didn't have time.
also, in her pics she's a spinner, but now she's more like a brick house, but with a flat tummy. if she was fat, i'd call it a bait-n-swtch, but since she's still hot, i wouldn't call it that. just a chick who should update her pics.
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