1. That there are truly exceptional ladies out there, most of them are 40+ and truly enjoy what they are doing. At the best, your kink and their kink will match up and the experience becomes so much more than the usual transactional thing.
2. Finding (1.) above is like swimming across the Pacific Ocean. Solo. But if you (as a hobbyist) have high expectations, don't give up, just keep paddling (swimming, not spanking, you pervs).
O.P., I'm so glad you've "surfaced" again. I saw you over a decade ago in Lewisville when you had a different handle. One of the top 5 appointments of my 20+ years in the hobby. Hope to connect with you soon again!