Funny provider one liners thread

Actually had one yell at me "Murder that Pussy" ..BD

Actually had one yell at me "Murder that Pussy" ..BD Originally Posted by ben dover

I must have saw her after you did because her pussy sure was dead.

After a very intense mutual oral session..."damn, I came so hard I think I lost a contact"

HB

Heard another classic recently:

"If you meet me in a bar I'm free,
if you meet me on the web ya gotta pay"

"My ass needs a break"

I remember the 1st time I blew a load in my ATF mouth, after she swallowed she said "I guess that means your not going to want to kiss me anymore." That gave both of us a good laugh.

Was wrapped up in a good session and the provider said" I think I kissed my own arm."

One newbie 20yo said "How wet do you want me to get?" while I was DATY. Same girl in CG says "I'm so wet." She was so fresh and new. Not a virgin, just little experience.

Another provider I had to try, a popular MILF, says in her soft and shuttle voice: "I like the way you fuck me." Total sincerity. The best part was that she was in CG. Unforgettable!

After a very steamy session with a mature provider, she looked at me and said "not bad for a couple of old farts eh?"

"I don't normally do this"

"I'll be there in five minutes"

I said, "damn your pussy feels good". She said, "It suppose to feel good".

I saw a lady one October 12th many years ago. After I came all over her breasts she smiled and said: "Happy Columbus Day!".

Well this was a client comment in a review but I laughed my ass off:

"Most of us have tired of the I'm in school bullshit from providers who can't spell cat"

No matter how long or short I took, I would whisper in this one providers ear "to soon" after cumming.

Now when I take longer I get. "don't you dare say it you brat "