1. Monogamy isn’t natural for men. Our society has rules to ensure the fringe stays in line with what comes natural to the majority of us. We don’t murder, we don’t steal, we don’t assault, because not doing these things comes as natural to us as breathing or blinking. However, monogamy doesn’t seem to come so easy. Why? Because it’s NOT NATURAL! One day our society will catch up and this whole thing will pass. Until then you will need a discrete partner to help you live more naturally. Come see me, I can be that discrete partner.
Originally Posted by River Song
First of all, great post, and I'm glad I haven't seen any of these stupid 'threAD' remarks. I was very active in the hobby from 1999 to 2007, but have been on hiatus since then. However since I'm on hiatus doesn't mean I don't understand (or have forgotten) the psychology involved in this thing of ours.
Even though monogamy isn't natural, when we get married, either through the vows or putting on the ring, it is implied that we're through playing around and mature enough to carry on our lives with only one person. Now if it's understood that it's an open marriage, that's different and there is no implication at all, but do the families and friends understand the concept of an open marriage? Most likely not.
2. Your marriage has become a friendship. Many years ago you had a best friend and a lover. As the years and your relationship have progressed it seems you have a best friend who occasionally allows you access to “the goods”. While you love your wife and have no intention of living without her, you don’t want a sterile mechanical sexual relationship. You want that willing participant that rocked your world so many years ago. Come see me, I will rock your world.
Originally Posted by River Song
Great comment, however if the husband gets play time, can that same husband forgive the wife if she steps out of the marriage for the same reason? What if the husband or wife has medical issues that causes them to play to get their needs fulfilled? Medical issues, especially for older persons can make a huge difference. It's one thing if the wife says no, or not tonight....what if the wife is willing, but has heart issues (for example only) and she wants to, but isn't medically able to. It puts a lot of guilt on a man visiting with a provider to meet his needs and he has to deceive his sick wife about leaving the house and using family funds to play around.
3. A non-judgmental ear. You have spent a lifetime working to make yourself the best you can be. Some days were smooth as silk. Some days however some days felt like the weight of the world was sitting on your shoulders. Those stressful days are hard to deal with. Sometimes you need someone who listens to you. I absolutely love to hear about you and what makes you tick. I also love getting naked and showing you what makes me tick.
Originally Posted by River Song
I fully agree with the non-judgmental ear, however a lot of guys only have enough time to spend an hour and need to clean up and head back home. Most of my discussions were between ring 1 and ring 2, and they were pleasurable, however I didn't care to discuss 'hobby politics'.
4. Kinky secrets. You have sex regularly and she does her best to please. However, you have a kinky side and want to try new things. The problem is you don’t want to ask your wife, the mother of your children to do those things. Ask me to do them instead. I specialize in “those things”.
Originally Posted by River Song
I wasn't really into kinky secrets, I just wanted an intimate session with lots of DFK. This was my m.o., no doubt a lot others wanted some sort of kink, which most caring providers would supply. There are a lot of providers who just want you to cum and go. This is why reviews are so important, to find the type of provider a man looks for.
5 Adventure. Probably the most mentioned reason. Sometimes you just feel the daily grind has extinguished any excitement you’re your life. If you want the adventure back, come see me. I will make your life adventurous once again.
Originally Posted by River Song
IMHO, this should be number 1. Being a normal looking guy, midway between Quasimodo and Brad Pitt, plus the fact that the RW (real world) me is basically shy, being in the hobby allowed me to visit the world of the star athlete with a bunch of horny girls. For the first time in many years, being in the hobby, allowed me to really enjoy being Dear John. Socials, loved them and got some freebies, with the implication a session or two was in the future. I remember meeting one lady for the first time ever at some notel and her tearing my clothes off as I walked in the door. I felt alive and important and women actually wanted to be with me. (let me say this, they didn't want to be with me, however it was the illusion that mattered), and getting out of this hobby took a lot of strength and maturity.
Perhaps it was a complete and total mid life crisis, however I didn't want the 'other woman' be it Kate Upton (well maybe, LOL) or anybody else.
I do have regrets about my time in the hobby. I regret seeing any lady who was forced to see men. In this context, I do regret the two times I visited McCarty road. If a woman was of age and wanted to do this, that was the type of woman I was seeking. I never saw a street walker or used backpage or craigslist.
Oh yes, I do still visit the showcases, some many times (LustyBustyGina 38FF...LOL) and I won't ever forget my time in the hobby. Many things still occupy a part of my memories and some of these are memories I will never forget. The great memories far outweigh the bad.
