It Bears Repeating (or What NOT To Ask During Your Initial Contact)

gimme_that's Avatar
he'll be best served by ...........asking my reviewers about specifics. Originally Posted by Caitie Mae
Its not your reviewers resonsibilty or their place to verify what you may or may not due. Some of us are gentleman and wouldnt feel the need or obligation to discuss. Gluteman is not your pimp or manager. Although I'm sure glutemen wouldnt mind his private messaging box being filled with service confirmations of all your clients inquries going forward. I'm sure he wouldn't mind right............

So make it read like........

Thank you so much for the support, Gluteman. Would you mind if everyonereads one of your reviews of time with me and followed up with question or two about our visit? Originally Posted by Caitie Mae
See fixed that for ya.......... maybe those guys can send pics too. Since he's your booking ambassador.

If he asks me about anything that may be considered illegal, he's already blown my screening. Originally Posted by Caitie Mae
So what you are saying it your screening is a false sense of security. Because if it was thorough enough......why then would you worry your screening has turned from sugar to shit because he inquired about a particular service activity after screening. Means you doubt your screening and are hoping your not on the wrong end of a false sense of security. Its all gut instinct anyway....



Now I'm not sure if you're only referring to the initial contact or if you're talking about anything in PM, text, or email even after proper screening has been done and the potential client has been given the green light. Originally Posted by L.A.
No as you can tell by this quote.........absolutely no situation calls for it in her eyes. She can't be budged from her opinion seemingly.

Here's her quote saying it......

[QUOTE=Caitie Mae;1057500551]Hopefully this post will get people on the right track...............

To be asked such thoughtless questions after screening would be even worse than on initial contact. At least if you ask up front I only lose the time it takes to read the message, not all of the time it takes to properly screen a potential playmate.



Rate and activity are NOT mutual. Understanding the difference may improve your post-to-review ratio, though, so you may want to consult with your dictionary and/or criminal code in your state. Originally Posted by Caitie Mae
Post to review ratio? Are you serious. Lol. Non factual. Here's some fact though.

Scenario #1. I'm sure when you arrive.....you pocket your donation right. Arrest secured.....not conviction persay....but arrest yes.

Scenario #2,You don't take the money sitting on the dresser but look at it. Your client doesn't speak of it.

Now that you are here. He confirms his preferred service. Are you gonna answer then? Yes. Now your are arrested.

Scenario #2b.Are you gonna answer then? No? Well now he feels weirded out like if he s about to be taken advantage of. He gets visibly tense....you get visibly tense.....but you assure him in not so direct words he will get what he desires. Your arrested......perhaps not convicted though.

Scenario #3.You get annoyed by the client asking you in session. And decide to reach for donation n.ot providing any servce due to your opinion of his incompetence.....you get arrested...........

Scenario #4. You walk out the door doing none of the above and get arrested.......

My point is. If you have screened him....and he turns out to be a cop anyway......your already screwed over.



I typically have some special things I look for and want in a session. I make contact thru PM usually, introduce myself, provide screening, provide a date and time I'm interested in, and then say once I've passed your screening I do have a couple of questions about the session. Everybody I've met seems ok with this approach. Some have preferred to continue by text or phone call but I've never been denied conveying my requests once I've been screened to the provider's satisfaction. Originally Posted by L.A.
I do this same thing and haven't had any issues.

Usually when you come at them this way you are meet with two types of response. An accoommodated response which is my favorite.

Or an offended response. If she's offened prior to you even asking anything. Believe me her lack of accommodation will be just as apparent when you see her in session. That's your foreshadowing clue. Means she tolerates it....but does not enjoy it. Or she doesn't want to be as submissive to your request. Some ladys want more dominant control over the flow and pace of their paid sessions. You have to weight the odds on if that is what you want to pay for.
-"

Thank you so much for the support, Gluteman. Would you mind if someone (established on the boards) reads one of your reviews of time with me and followed up with question or two about our visit? Originally Posted by Caitie Mae
I wouldn't mind at all. After all, isn't that the purpose of the board? Help each other find the providers that can satisfy our specific needs?

I'm no pimp or white knight. I'm not here to help Caitie make dates. I'm here to help my fellow hobbyists find their fun in the same way that many have helped me find mine.

For whatever it's worth, Caities request is just ..... a request. Wheather you like it or not, it's the way she likes to do things.... why is it a big deal?
ManSlut's Avatar
^^^I don't know, ask her, she's the one who wrote the fucking threAD.

I'm just here to help providers make History and make their cheapass entry level BMW payments.
MaxiMilyen's Avatar
I love getting PMs and emails from hobbyists ...

Lately, over the past 2-3 months, inquiries like I'm talking about have become the norm and I feel it should be addressed in an open forum, to explain the cold shoulder so many have received from me. To that end, I have resurrected a post I made long, long ago, on a board far, far away, in hopes that... well.....

So, there you have it. Any questions?

~sweetness~ Originally Posted by Caitie Mae
Hi Catie Mae,

I understand the need to come on the board and clarify a stance. I hate it 's not more appreciated and others don't take it as an opportunity to use it as a learning tool, rather than an opportunity to "lady bash" at times. Granted, I am much more insistant than most, and even willing to roll in muck even when it feels so bad, but it's the only language some seem to understand. I came to the board much sooner than you with my questions and complaints about not only what goes on here, but what it does to others not even standing in the line of site. When I started having trouble trying to manage what should be deemed "My" business, but began seeming as if it had turned into something akin to being "internet pimped". Gotta take a stance at times, even if we don't want to. Otherwise, out come the bulldozers and there is much confusion. I feel for ya, hon. This part of the biz...is truly no fun!

Stick to your stance as it might be helpful not only to you, but to other ladies as well. Some do not have the heart or even inclination to fight for what is theirs. Be aware of all the possible scenarios and ways some of these folks might as well be hands on pimps, simply by using their hateful words and slipping around busy behind the scenes or even out in public using veiled threats and whatnot. IMO, it's been a disservice to the entire community, what has been allowed to go on here. And yes, I realize I am just a woman and a provider, so my opinion ain't worth jack diddly, but so far, I'm still standing, and NO, that's not a challenge. My legs are wobbly, but NO MAN or silly woman who thinks I'm her competition or something, is gonna knock me down in anything other than a fair fight for my business. When I am ready to throw in the towel, I will and it will be my choice. Otherwise, it's obvious.

Again, stick to your stance, as so many have been unable to. They don't realize what they do to themselves and every lady here when they do not. If they did, there would be ZERO threads of this nature.

Shoot me an email when ya get a minute or you are not reall busy...I'm looking for a friendly companion and maybe you can help me shop for one. :-) Many here are just way too vicious and that goes for both the men and women. ijs

QFT. It goes both ways though. Originally Posted by johnnylongcaulking
Some times it just sucks to be a woman in this world, when it comes to feeling we are safe concerning men. This is no one's fault, it just is. Try not to take it personal when a lady feels she has got to take it to the extreme in order to ensure her safety. If you've never stood in a woman's shoes, that might be hard to comprehend, and I get that. If some gents could make an effort not to get bent out of shape if a lady asks them for more than they are comfortable providing, that would be great. Keep in mind....We are asked to provide ALL kinds of uncomfortable things much worse than this.

Of course I understand the need for discretion. And I can only hope most gents understand the need to take their time and do their research in order to avoid, as much as possible, those that are even suspect at providing in a manner that might be harmful to a hobbyist, other ladies, or even herself.

The only advice I would give is you might send back a PM explaining
that you don't discuss services through PM's instead of just sending
them straight to the dumpster. Originally Posted by bojulay
I answer almost 100% of PMs I receive, it changes nothing and I have rarely been nasty or upset in response, even when a gent has been a whole lot of unpleasant adjectives when he intiated first contact.

It's not rocket surgery.

Random and off topic, my apologies, but.....I'm stealing that line...lol It's the only thing that's even made me smile here today. Thanks for that...:-) Originally Posted by Gluteman
[QUOTE=gimme_that;1057500998]Its not your reviewers resonsibilty or their place to verify what you may or may not due. Some of us are gentleman and wouldnt feel the need or obligation to discuss. Gluteman is not your pimp or manager. Although I'm sure glutemen wouldnt mind his private messaging box being filled with service confirmations of all your clients inquries going forward. I'm sure he wouldn't mind right............

Hopefully this post will get people on the right track...............

To be asked such thoughtless questions after screening would be even worse than on initial contact. At least if you ask up front I only lose the time it takes to read the message, not all of the time it takes to properly screen a potential playmate.
Originally Posted by Caitie Mae
Hey...don't some of the ladies give the gents refs? We do it for the other ladies and so the lady can make an informed decision on whether she feels she can see you. Hate it so many feel the need to poach clients rather than respond and only hurt the whole community when they behave this way. Do they not realize what the gent's agenda was to begin with and how it's just another negotiation tactic at times. smh

Please do not tell the ladies how to run their individual businesses, unless they specifically ask you, despite the fact you may believe you can run it better or not. or simply because it suits your own "specific" needs. And please, as a hobbyist who enjoys certain types of ladies, do you think it a disservice to your hobbying experience when a gent insists it should be done the way he likes it? Do you just take them at their word it's the right or wrong way and go by that, or do you go with what you desire concerning hobbying? We are individuals and to be honest, this kinda thing has lead to a MUCH MUCH bigger mess. So, yeah...tone it down just a notch, hon. The ladies are individuals, and other than the gents who know better than us about every aspect of life and our own entire being, we got this. Suggestions are great, but this...not so much.

Catie prefers to provide and feel safe however she can, and rather than go into combat mode, because you find it uncomfortable, maybe ask her why she feels the need to do things as she does. If she feels she wants to share, kewl. If not...well, it is her biz...is it not? Hey, I'm guilty of this same thing, but it ain't working, and I am determined to figure out what works at least a little better than what hasn't been working. Brow beating ain't it and neither are one liners. Don't they have, I dunno.... cam sites or something for that kinda thing? Maybe some actual discussion, a little compassion, and less insisting our personal views might be a better solution in order to get some answers? Idk...I haven't found it yet, but I rarely give up on anything or anyone, and I am gonna try something different until something works a little better.

^^^I don't know, ask her, she's the one who wrote the fucking threAD.

I'm just here to help providers make History and make their cheapass entry level BMW payments. Originally Posted by ManSlut
Really? It seems like you have a much different agenda at times. Belittle and degrade, maybe a little envy or jealousy or need approval from caustic buds or something. Not judging, it's just how I view it or read your tone. I imagine others think you are a super nice fella or even great hobbyist who can wrestle, any lady or gent, until he wins with his "non-feel" or something.

Not trying to pick a fight, or be disrespectful to you, but it seems like you got some hater issues just by what you stated here, much less everything else you ever comment on. Not that I'm asking you to divulge your issues or even wanna know what your agenda is. Catie Mae and even I... we are just trying to get our biz back on track, if that's OKay with everyone? If it helps other ladies, then kewl. But neither of us is trying to be hateful or hurtful to anyone who isn't trying insistantly to subject us to their BS. If we do not have this right and it offends you so deeply, can you please explain why that it is?

These kinda comments and being told to grow thick skin or have no feelings regarding our businesses, are inane. If you believe otherwise, can you tell me why that would be, as well? I actually do love to learn, so please, teach me something I can understand and accept about this kinda thing. It just seems... All non-feeling folks need to get their feelings back, deal with them and let them go already. The darn things are buried within and this is what spews out at the rest of us. Feel entitled if ya like, but "We" didn't put 'em there, so take it out on those who told ya this was the way to be.

It's causing some of you to have serious communication and even comprehension issues. Sorry you believed the whole "suck it up" or move along thing, and sorry others used it as an excuse to treat ya poorly or even use that to teach ya to be man or a provider. It doesn't make ya either of those. It makes you look like a follower who can't think for himself and wants to impress other non-feelers who love to have little sheep following around behind them. It also doesn't mean those who feel, are wrong about anything. Maybe it's why we have compassion when we see so many struggling with the whole "don't feel anything" issue. The one thing you folks can't surpress is your obvious anger about not feeling nothing. This...is as obvious as the nose on anyone's face. Because you choose not to see it, doesn't make it less than what it actually is.

I'd apologize for the length of my words, but I, and apparently some others, can't learn a thing using one liner hateful comments....I'm wordy, and do not judge those who are not. Not everyone enjoys learning as I do, but understand when I tell ya this is what I see in you, and maybe even why I see it as I do. I realize, I may be way off base, but ya give me no reason to believe otherwise, nor do I think ya even care how I view you or others who practice this one line attack stuff, as if texting like a teenager.
Who is going to read that? Get to the point please.
MaxiMilyen's Avatar
Who is going to read that? Get to the point please. Originally Posted by crazysauce
Not anyone who cares what others think or how they treat one another? I dunno, why don't you tell me.

Please stay on topic. Everyone knows I'm wordy and don't often do one liners. Shall I write about why that is? LOL

Guys, ya'll are seriously running off some pretty great ladies. Play nice, adhere to what the ladies need or desire in order to provide what it is you seek. Otherwise, find someone who doesn't care about herself so much.
Not anyone who cares what others think or how they treat one another? I dunno, why don't you tell me.

Please stay on topic. Everyone knows I'm wordy and don't often do one liners. Shall I write about why that is? LOL

Guys, ya'll are seriously running off some pretty great ladies. Play nice, adhere to what the ladies need or desire in order to provide what it is you seek. Otherwise, find someone who doesn't care about herself so much. Originally Posted by MaxiMilyen
If all your replies were as short or shorter than this one I might actually read them.
Who is going to read that? Get to the point please. Originally Posted by crazysauce
I thick she gets paid by the word, similar to the OP, us gents should just pay the fee, and enjoy the ride. even if what we are paying for isn't included....its all about her safety dammit....your needs or desires don't need to be inquired about, what the fuck are you? a cop? or vice?....these ladies that advertise here on ECCIE, are gracing us with there presence...we should look for details, on their reviews....you know, email a dude you don't know, about a hooker you never met......
hey man read your review about breezy...does she bbbj? im not a weirdo, she doesn't respond to inquires like this, she dumps inquiries like this.....
I think i'll pass and see the other 849 providers that don't have such a stupid, requirement.....but I respect your right to request what you need
i'll look for a young hooker that's not neurotic......just my opinion..........
MaxiMilyen's Avatar
If all your replies were as short or shorter than this one I might actually read them. Originally Posted by ithyphallicus
Ommmm... I wish you had said something earlier! I will keep that in mind, because you are the only person that matters on this board and all I wanna do is make sure that my every action is to please just YOU!

I thick she gets paid by the word, similar to the OP, us gents should just pay the fee, and enjoy the ride. even if what we are paying for isn't included....its all about her safety dammit....your needs or desires don't need to be inquired about, what the fuck are you? a cop? or vice?....these ladies that advertise here on ECCIE, are gracing us with there presence...we should look for details, on their reviews....you know, email a dude you don't know, about a hooker you never met......
hey man read your review about breezy...does she bbbj? im not a weirdo, she doesn't respond to inquires like this, she dumps inquiries like this.....
I think i'll pass and see the other 849 providers that don't have such a stupid, requirement.....but I respect your right to request what you need
i'll look for a young hooker that's not neurotic......just my opinion.......... Originally Posted by Tony Gambino
Actually, there are times I get paid by the page. It still doesn't pay as good as the sexy things I do, though.

If the experience a gent seeks doesn't include what the woman seeks as well, believe it or not, this is not a nuerosis. Just because you don't understand what a woman tells you, this does not make her a nutty banana, silly. Maybe why some of you might try something different when addressing a woman at times. It ain't rocket surgery, at all. You guys got sex sex sex on your mind darn near every minute of every day, so I don't understand how any of you get anything accomplished....oh wait, yes I do. You got women who take care of certain things for you and if ya don't, then you pay one to. I've been a ho in the corporate world too and some of you just want us to do it all for you.

Maybe we do in fact "grace" you with our presence, just as that might be how some of us feel about the clients that come to us. At least we are each willing to do so, and maybe it's not ALL about what you individually "want" 24/7, but of course, I could be wrong.

Look, I love men, and yes, men think and communicate differently than women. I understand the what and why of how most view us and wish to interact with us. Naked and mouth shut, unless it has a male organ in it, or she's telling a man what an honor it is to be graced with his phallus in the many ways we have learned to do for you, seems to be the preference for most and maybe that is why some women pick and choose? We know there is more to us than just that, even on a SWB. Maybe some of you fellas should consider that too, or not. LOL Either way, women have what men want and men have what we want. I laugh every time a man says he wishes he was a woman, so he could have sex as much as he wants to. I do this because I know better and he doesn't want that at all. Why would I know this, because I am a woman, hon.
TheEccie214's Avatar
At least when you read/see Maxi's posts you can be pretty sure she's independent. No kept girl would be allowed to go on and on and on like that.

Problem is most guys hobby to get away from a girl going on and on and on.
MaxiMilyen's Avatar
At least when you read/see Maxi's posts you can be pretty sure she's independent. No kept girl would be allowed to go on and on and on like that.

Problem is most guys hobby to get away from a girl going on and on and on. Originally Posted by TheEccie214

Read your post, hon. Maybe you should take a moment and listen to those girls and you wouldn't have to hobby, and maybe you'd even learn something. Nah...probably not, because you know better, right? After all, you are a man. Nothing wrong with that, but most women don't have to pay for intimacy either. Hmmm.......think about it, maybe you'll get it, and maybe you'll just continue to bash. LOL
Caitie Mae's Avatar
I did expect some resistance, but I didn't expect a fistful of guys to take my advice so personally when I said something along the lines of "Don't ask me if I do what someone already says I do. Go ask that other guy about what he said and when you decide to see me, get in touch with a non-graphic message or I'll just delete the message" shouldn't be taken as a direct, personal rejection as some have taken it.

I didn't see that my post had hit a nerve before my second post here, but it seems undeniable that my reiteration of my policy has certainly upset some people. I thought, going into my second post, that commenting members were open to trying to understand my position, which I doubt is unique to me. Coming into this post I have no such expectation and I won't make the mistake of attempting to nurture dialog on the subject. There's no point in such dialog. My policy is my policy and it isn't going to change.

Having any kind of conversation with hobbyists not interested in spending time with me does nothing to further the subject or promote understanding. Clearly, the men responding here (for the most part) have no reason to comment on MY policy because I'm not their "type." My policy doesn't affect them in any way whatsoever, so why allow myself to be sucked into that? The way I see it, the combative language of this thread is an indication that not only have I been given the opportunity to screen for chemistry, but all of the ladies now have a much clearer view of some hobbyists regard for provider comfort levels.

For the benefit of those who do have an interest in knowing why posting activities in an introduction is an auto rejection, here are the reasons:

First: I clearly publish my preferences on my website, in my showcase and within my screening form. Any hobbyist who has done his homework, knows what I am about, and is familiar with my services has been exposed to my strict rule against graphic content. If he hasn't done his homework for me, I doubt he's any more selective with the other ladies he sees, which indicates that I'm not likely to be his "type."

Delete.

Second: For a hobbyist to know my preference and to ignore it indicates that he has no respect for my boundaries. How can I possibly consider that he will respect other boundaries he may want to cross when I am with him BCD if he can't control his urge to tell me he wants me to suck his dick in an email?

Delete.

Third: If he reads my preference but doesn't understand what I mean by "Requests for illegal or unsafe activities will be rejected and posted to alert databases" he's likely to be the same kind of guy who will arrive at the hotel early and wait in his car suspiciously or wander around the lobby, looking at eccie or other hobby site on his phone until time to call for the room number then repeat that number loudly enough to be overheard by staff or other guests. The guy who arrives at the hotel without any kind of overnight luggage, toting a pink-on-pink, striped gift bag falls into this category as well. He poses a danger to the provider, the security of her room and the anonymity of each of her subsequent visitors.

Delete.

Fourth: Reduced risk of entrapment by LE. Whether real or perceived, my comfort level hinges upon this factor.

Delete.

That adds up to too much risk for my comfort. Further, responding to a graphic email message will in no way have an affect on the outcome of the contact. Screening will be denied, but the response to the email will require a personal rejection of the email's sender. How would that be worded?

"You obviously didn't read any of my information online or you would have known to NOT mention [graphic reference] when contacting me. That's too bad because I never see anyone who sends me graphic content, so I am deleting your message now. Enjoy your hobby!"

Is that about right? That sounds like personal rejection. Men don't handle personal rejection very well, especially not from a person of lower status. That's another position I'm not trying to put myself into... Personally rejecting every man who can't not include 3 Bs and a J in their first contact isn't my idea of a smart thing to do or a good time.

I think I'll stick to my current policy, thank you.
Luke Skywalker's Avatar
Catie, it can be more simply said this way:

Your body, your rules. End of the story.
FunInDFW's Avatar
So at what point can I ask if you're into all the kinky shit I'm into? When is that acceptable?
So at what point can I ask if you're into all the kinky shit I'm into? When is that acceptable? Originally Posted by FunInDFW
maybe on the second date