What are the rules in the hobby world for going out?

My experience is BCD time is BCD time. Some ladies do offer a social time rate for dinner dates, movies, and other such events, and that is clearly listed. Usually this is because it is not just a casual time. If you are asking her to be arm candy or a trophy date, they are working.

If they are free to be themselves and relax and this is just killing time mutually, that may be a different thing.

In my mind, if a provider and hobbyist decide to see a movie, or grab a drink or quick bite to eat that is their business. Doing most of my hobby play on the road or with visiting providers, I have noticed sometimes people get tired of hanging in their hotel rooms or eating alone. If you connect as casual friends and just want to kill time, no big deal. If it becomes more than that, for either party, your best protection is to go back to some sort of fee to give each other emotional buffer.

I would be wary of a situation were such extra social time was planned, but not paid for. Especially if this becomes a habit.

I offer a "dinner date" package that is just $ over my normal rate for two extra hours. I love these dates and find it to be my favorite way to spend hobby time. It allows us to get to know one another, have some dinner, shoot pool or whatever outside of BCD. I sincerely believe that for me and for my clients, it makes BCD even better!

I agree that if you are accepting a "dinner or lunch" invitation, you need to be very clear as to if it will be a fee or non-fee outing.

I treat my atf's to lunch quite often and they certainly do not charge me for the time.
We usually have had bcd time before and of course I expect to pay for that.If I or they ask to go to lunch it is with the understanding we are doing so as friends.No strings attached and no "love" strings.We enjoy sitting and talking about non-hobby related things and just being normal people.Some times we will go back for more bcd afterwards which counts as another session.
If you are hoping that something develops by you asking them out ,DON'T do it.
You are then risking that friendship and the chance of seeing an atf in the future.
Keep things light and don't let your emotions get involved.
I'm sure relationships have developed from meeting ladies in the hobby but it is a very rare thing so keep your head on straight .

I might suggest a non-bcd activity if a provider I'm seeing appears interested, but after the initial suggestion, I would leave it to the provider to make the call. Asking a provider to lunch, dinner or a movie after seeing her BCD could be misunderstood.

I would rather err on the side of caution than to have someone I like to see bcd thinking I have romantic feelings about them when they may just like me as a client.

Why have rules...they are meant to be broken right? I have had lunches, dinners, night clubs nights, overnighters, weekenders...all off the clock and many included BCD activities. No exchange of $$$ was clearly established prior to the festivities just friends having fun.