When did we throw DISCRETION out the window?!?!?

It is my understanding that a provider became jealous and wrote a letter to this gentleman's wife outing in detail all his "activites" in the hobby. This is completely uncalled for and wrong in this business.
There is an unwritten rule of behavior, If you OUT anyone you are immediately OUTED yourself, you can't be trusted. Zero tolerance with this. We all know what we are into and doing here. But this kind of behavior is too dangerous. It is very damaging and has life altering consequences. I don't care what your problems are, how old you are, how long you have been in the business 1 day or 20 years, any pro or hobbyist that is so immature or vindictive, or plain crazy to deliberately out another has absolutely no place in the hobby, should be considered dangerous and outed and removed. Other pros and hobbyist should put peer pressure on these people until they are run out of the business. There is no room for peoples lives being destroyed and ruined. And quite frankly the thought of psycho, fatal attraction, histrionic personality that would do such a thing should scare the hell out of every pro and hobbyist. This is pure sick and distrubed. It is passive aggressive behavior at its best. Here is a gal with deep deep anger issues and she did not deal with him one on one and handle the situation. She attempted to destroy his life, by going to his wife. I don't care how old, who she is or whatever her problems are. This is pure wrong.
Where is the Eccie board in this? If a hobbyist can show proof that the outing happened, then the outer should be permanently outed and removed from the board. People, this is our life line here. Ignoring this behavior or thinking "it won't happen to me" is naive at best. The only way to prevent this is to deal with it swiftly and remove people that believe they can pull this kind of damaging behavior from our ranks.
The boards and other pros and hobbyist should rally behind the person outed. This provider should not have another "date", period. The big O should be branded on her forehead. Danger Danger Danger signs up! That is what this is all about and for, is it not? I say keep it sane and safe, cull the rest. This is pure bullshit! My opinion only and yours may vary!

Victoria Westin Originally Posted by VictoriaWestin

I totally agree with you. And, I think there's precedent for this as isn't outing or threats of outing what got FWOG so deservedly banned? However, kinda tough to rally to the person's side or ostracize the provider in question when, to the best of my knowledge, there's been nothing about this posted on the board.

I never understood why people outed one another either. But to me, what's really retarded is seeing a provider get angry or treat someone rudely because they are seeing other providers. Dude...the entire reason that you exist as a provider is to provide a particular aspect of contact that one might receive in a relationship WITHOUT the damn relationship. So how, then, can you get upset when a client of yours sees another lady? He's not your man! Get it? The moment he left your bed the "relationship" ceased. I don't care what he does for you on the side...its still NSA man.

As to the providers outing hobbyists to their families and vice versa...that's just sad. What possess someone to want to do something like that? You're mad b/c he left you a bad review? You're pissed because she won't see only you and no one else? Yeah, out them...that'll fix things.

I once had a not-so-nice gentleman tell me that if I didn't see him for a lower rate, he would tell people what I do. He was a mess.

Ok, now I know that I don't start alot of threads but do read almost daily what I can on the boards. Now I have been around for a while now, and I have ALWAYS claimed that DISCRETION is something that I always practice. I mean not just for me but for those HOBBYIST that are either married or in a relationship of some sort.

I thought that this was the MAIN goal in the hobby world when I started many moons ago. What I don't understand is the number of hobbyist and providers, as well, who are continuously getting outed by either a provider or hobbyist. When did this become part of our practice as a hobbyist, or providers, especially?

I honestly feel that from a provider standpoint, outing a hobbyist because you are jealous (or just a plain F**KING vindictive bitch) because he is seeing other providers while still seeing you, or as a hobbyist, you are upset because your ATF isn't there just for you or isn't holding up her end of a bargain. I mean there really is NO need for jealousy and vindictiveness in this hobby because there are plenty of fish on both sides of the pond for every one to get along.

I am just saddened by the lack of adultness and maturity that we (hobbyist and providers) showcase in this industry. I am still in the biz, is my biz lacking from time to time, yes, as sure as many have those down days. I just feel that we all should act like adults, (which I know is hard for some) and just because some one pisses you off or fails to hold up their end of a deal doesn't give anyone, (provider or hobbyist) , the right to out anyone to their spouses, girlfriend/boyfriend, and/or family. This is just F**KING ridiculous and OMG dare i say CHILDISH. Just wish some of us would act our ages and not our shoe sizes. Maybe then, possibly, the hobby world will be a better one.

JUST MY .02.

Smooches

WTF Dont you Girls Get it, its all about DISCRETION For Providers and Hobbiest....
GET IT!!!!! Alot of us dont show our Face for a reason...
This really pisses me off we lose alot of good people this way...grow up If you can't Handle the Job Then Get the F out...
You dont have the right to F up someone elses Life...
And guys Stop telling these girls all your private info..
Just keep it down and Dirty....
If your having a fight with client or Provider take it to a MOD they can clear things up...I suggest PPE (snicker) he solves tons of problems..
But Really Snitching cause your feelings are hurt or whatever...Get real,Grow up,Or Get out of the Business...

You have one variable that no one has control over, "human emotions", be it love, hate, jealousy, whatever, but we are all subjected to it. We all have had it to some degree, but for the most part, the majority of us can cope with it until it has run its' course. I for one fall in love with (almost) every provider I see, until the next one comes along!

I'm glad to see that many of us feel the same on this subject. I feel that ANYONE (hobbyist or provider) that outs someone should be outed from every board (EVERY BOARD). If they did it once, they will do it again. More importantly, they don't understand the basic principle of this hobby....discretion.

Anastasia....you have been on my "To do" list, and you moved up on the list based on your comments.

Fellow hobbyist....(Providers, I apologize in advance)......Women...in general (not all ladies but most) DON'T HAVE A CODE!!!!

Most men have a code....there are some things that you don't do, regardless of the situation. This code is taught to men since we were young.

Women don't teach women a code....things are always dependent on the situation....except for the women in this thread.

I agree with Victoria......ZERO TOLERANCE......If someone wants to ruin a Hobbyist/Providers life....their life should be PERMANENTLY changed, like the permanent change they made in the life of the person they outed. NO QUESTIONS

My 2 cents..... THERE IS NEVER A REASON TO OUT SOMEONE.....NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!

You have one variable that no one has control over, "human emotions", be it love, hate, jealousy, whatever, but we are all subjected to it. We all have had it to some degree, but for the most part, the majority of us can cope with it until it has run its' course. I for one fall in love with (almost) every provider I see, until the next one comes along! Originally Posted by hd

Sir that is so true, and may I add that it takes two to make a successful outing. I can ask for, expect and even demand discretion, but its only my actions and behaviors that can insure it. If I am negligent I may become a victim of many crimes in this world filled.....with all you damn sinners.

I'm hearing more or more of this from hobbiest! It saddens me to know the some providers (even on p411) are playing with someone's personal life. If that hobbiest or provider let you into their personal world, don't turn on them!

I'm going through this right now with a regular of mine and he doesn't know what to do.....she played the church thing on him (acting like she was a church goer) in the beginning and (hasn't seen him in over 2 1/2 years but would call for $ for Xmas and her drama ...she is in VA and he is TX, btw) and now she needs $ for her bonds (bad girl) and is sending him texts saying if he don't send her a green dot card ...she will be sending out certified letters to his church and his wife.....WTF.....I told him to post about it but he doesn't post on the boards and thought p411 would be his "haven" (the only board he uses to select his companions) so I advised him to report her since it's really not my business but then it could be if he decides to stop hobbying all together because of the "trust" factor or should I say the lose of trust in companions!

I'm on the side to out them to admin or ban these ladies/hobbiest myself because in reality they are running our "fish" off....if you know what I mean.............. and bringing undo attention to hobby boards...as we sit and wonder where have the "good" guys gone...

Sincerely,
Wet

[quote=cpi3000;699846]Here, here! AMEN! Preach on sista!

I have been bitching about this for the last couple of years. Just becasue you know something about someone does not mean you have to post it or gossip about it.


DISCRETION IS THE CORNERSTONE OF THIS HOBBY.

OUTING SOMEONE IN THE HOBBY IS THE CARDINAL SIN.

If you are new in the last couple of years and you want respect, you better learn these two things.

CPI, I totally agree with you.....outing someone in the hobby
is a Cardinal Sin...


I guarantee some karma is going to be dished out for those who keep forgetting this. It is just the way the hobby works.[/qoute]

Remember you have to give respect to get respect....And respect will take
you a long ways in this business.....

I agree with Anastasia and CPI. But, the primary lesson I draw from this is not so much to try to convince the people who are indiscreet to become more discreet. That's definitely a good thing, but somewhat limited in effectiveness.

The lesson I draw and that I think every newbie should take to heart is to protect yourself because you cannot rely on anyone else to do it for you. Separate hobby phone, hobby email, and hobby name. Don't reveal your real name or any other info that could be used to identify you. Guard your license plate info.

You never know for sure who's going to gossip, have someone hack into their computer, try to blackmail you for sex or money, or just go psycho. Be discreet with your own info and who you give it to. With the internet, a little know how, and some effort, a single piece of identifying info can reveal more info about you than you could imagine. Guard your anonymity and you won't have to worry about someone else being indiscreet. This goes for hobbyists and providers equally. Originally Posted by Shackleton

protect yourself because you cannot rely on anyone else to do it for you...... "Words you should never forget"

Outing is Never acceptable... Tit for Tat or otherwise.

That being said, ECCIE is not and cannot be the Hobby Police. If you have information on this activity, you are welcome to send to the Mods and have them deal with it. You are not Welcome to post that info on ECCIE in an open forum.

PPE

Ok.. please someone explain to me how anyone on this forum ever gets enough info in their hands to out ANYONE!!

A provider should not be able to be outted to her family or anyone.. No one knows my real name, where I am really located, what car I drive, what my real phone number is anything.. Everything I ever "created" was controlled constantly..

so please someone tell me how a provider can be outted? how one ever gets that much info about a girl..i really just don't get it and if a girl is letting to much info out then thats on her.. if a girl is worried about her face pics or something leading to her being outted then perhaps one needs to rethink the line of work they are in.. considering that the shear volume or uncontrolled LURKERS and people that don't even have to be signed up to view this site..one should realize that they may be noticed..no one may out them..but themselves..

as far as the hobbyiest..i understand at times how this happens..its unfortunate that many girls make guys jump thru way to many hoops and guys are almost forced to reveal way more than they should just for a good time.. It puts control squarely in the girls hands and that unfortunately can be quite dangerous..as any guy knows..whether this world or civilian world..a pissed off girl can be a scary thing and the more weapons they have at their disposal can lead to very bad things..

I encourage guys to think more often with the big head and consider just how much getting that piece of ass is worth in regards to how much info is required to be given out.. ya guys should have a hobby phone.. but employment info is going a bit to far, addresses, full names, all open a guy up to a very bad situation and one has to decide how much that piece of ass is worth..

I still though..would love to hear how a provider is outted..AND NOT that they really outted themselves.. i.e posting pics of themselves etc.. i mean if your pic is on the internet..your free game.. your exposed..your open.. if someone you open up to a hobbyiest and reveal to much that leads to your demise..well..can't really blame the hobbyiest..you should safe guard your own info and never feel close enough to someone in this world as to expose or give to much info..

safety starts with yourself..no matter guy or girl..they can only hurt you with the info you give out

Ok, now I know that I don't start alot of threads but do read almost daily what I can on the boards. Now I have been around for a while now, and I have ALWAYS claimed that DISCRETION is something that I always practice. I mean not just for me but for those HOBBYIST that are either married or in a relationship of some sort.

I thought that this was the MAIN goal in the hobby world when I started many moons ago. What I don't understand is the number of hobbyist and providers, as well, who are continuously getting outed by either a provider or hobbyist. When did this become part of our practice as a hobbyist, or providers, especially?

I honestly feel that from a provider standpoint, outing a hobbyist because you are jealous (or just a plain F**KING vindictive bitch) because he is seeing other providers while still seeing you, or as a hobbyist, you are upset because your ATF isn't there just for you or isn't holding up her end of a bargain. I mean there really is NO need for jealousy and vindictiveness in this hobby because there are plenty of fish on both sides of the pond for every one to get along.

I am just saddened by the lack of adultness and maturity that we (hobbyist and providers) showcase in this industry. I am still in the biz, is my biz lacking from time to time, yes, as sure as many have those down days. I just feel that we all should act like adults, (which I know is hard for some) and just because some one pisses you off or fails to hold up their end of a deal doesn't give anyone, (provider or hobbyist) , the right to out anyone to their spouses, girlfriend/boyfriend, and/or family. This is just F**KING ridiculous and OMG dare i say CHILDISH. Just wish some of us would act our ages and not our shoe sizes. Maybe then, possibly, the hobby world will be a better one.

JUST MY .02.

Smooches Originally Posted by SexyAnastasia

I just got a "hard on" reading this...

this is commen sense for all...no benefit to anyone...

I was told this info in confidence hence the fact that i made this a GENERAL ?. I have seen many guys retire or go UTR because of a jealous or just plain vindictive lady. I have learned with time and age that there are just some things that are better left alone before alot of people get hurt.

I will be contacting the mods with the info that I have recieved, but overall, I truly just wanted to know if there were others that felt the same way about this topic. I don't speak on much but when i do it is a good topic. And with all my experience in the biz, there are those select gentlemen with whom I have grown fond of that might know a little more about me than most. Those guys that know that info, I feel are very trustworthy gentlemen and who I would consider a friend.

This is happening more and more and I ask, no BEG, you gentlemen to no longer be shy. Stand up and out those which have outed you. These ladies that continue to practice these tactics are only screwing things up for us ladies who actually respect the gents in more ways than one, and are ACTUAL LADIES.

You can not expect someone to do things for you when you use extortion or even blackmail. Please remember (to all of the new providers) that DISCRETION is what these gentlemen who compensate you for your time, expect!!! Using any info that you may learn about some one in CONFIDENCE, to hurt them is just not how this biz works. Please to all the new ladies if you have any ?'s about being a successful and loved provider you need to learn this cardinal rule and dont be afraid to ask for advice from a few of us Veteran Providers. I know I for one am always happy to guide any new provider in the right direction.

These Gents that choose to see any lady in the biz are not your Boyfriend by any means, just guys that enjoy the company that you provide. Be thankful that these guys give you the means to live the life that you live. Even if they become a regular of yours that means that they enjoy your company. THATS IT END OF STORY!!!! I have many guys that I enjoy and even get a little giddy when i do see them but at the end of the our time spent we both have to go back to the lives that we lead. JEALOUSY is CHILDISH!!!!

All i ask of this whole thread is that we all wake up and understand that we should cherish those GENTS that are actually GENTS!!! And the Gents should value those of us who actually practice this CARDINAL RULE. This shouldn't be an issue EVER!!! DISCRETION is the name of the game. LEARN IT AND LIVE BY IT!!!!!

Smooches

I would really hate to get in trouble because of second hand info.. (not me but saying if i was a girl that is being accused of outing a guy).. as was said eccie is not the hobby police and sharing info just puts one more person that was out of the equation suddenly into it.. further exposing everyone.. if guys are outed..they can come forward and share what they are comfy with.. girls or guys shouldn't WK for someone and pass info along to people that really can't control what others do and what happens to others off this board

Second.. guys are encouraged to stand up and not be shy and expose those that are doing the outing.. further digging the hole even deeper for themselves with a lady that has already shown a tendancy to get back at someone?

I mean the idea of discretion is pretty common sense.. however.. there are plenty of girls that claim to be discrete yet will black list a guy THUS GIVING ALL HIS INFO OUT in a heart beat at the moment they feel even a bit slighted..so the hole discretion thing is kinda pointless..

facts are.. if girls wanna truly claim to be worried about discretion..expect less info to be shared and don't bitch when guys wanna see you and not abide by your screening rules.. guys are trying to protect themselves and in the interest of safety girls should allow it right? or is a girls need to be safe and screen more important than a guys need to be discrete and not give out to much info to a potential dangerous girl

I totally agree Deanna. The info I will give to mods is so that they can offer suggestions to the gent who was outed. I don't believe in WK in any situation. My thoughts and reasoning for this thread was just to get a general idea of how people feel about this.

Screening is for our safety as well as the Gents. i agree that there are providers that ask for way to much when DISCRETION is the name of the game. Now, I for one, will always offer a gent with no references other options in order for me to see them, i.e refer them to P411, Date-check or any other screening service. If they can not do that then i venture in to other avenues yet ask the guy if this is ok and if he says no then I politely tell him that I can not see him with out having screened to make sure he is not LE. it is all about how you ask the gents during screening and out of respect if there are things they don't want to indulge we as providers shouldn't scold them. Just agree to disagree and move on in another direction.

We all value our level of safety and we should all respect that about one another. I just don't understand where the hobby took a wrong turn and why the things that are happening now are even being allowed by us all. Guys just be cautious when choosing a provider and don't be afraid to speak up when you have been wronged. It will not only help out your fellow hobbyist but give us ladies insight on what NOT to do.

Just protect yourself, that goes for gents and ladies. We all just need to learn that respect is not something that is given to a person it is something that is earned. That is something that we all should have learned early on in life. Please just be careful guys. Don't let someone take advantage of you. Cover your tracks and tread lightly where you might be concerned.

Smooches