Waitaminute! Hypocritical?

On June 15th my daughter turns 18. On June 28th my grand daughter turns 1. My daughter was a cheerleader and made really good grades and had a talent for art. She most likely would have gotten a scholorship for that. She lost it mentally and half way into her senior year quit. We did everything as parents could do to help her, we still are.

My kids knew I was a dancer for 13yrs and I suspect they suspect what I do now because they hear stuff about MP's all the time etc...

WoW, what would I do? First prolly comb the web for any info about her. Then confront her. I then would confess about me and why I do what I do. I would without a doubt jump through fire hoops to steer her in a different direction. On Monday I will take her to get her DL and I told her I will give her a lot of gas money to find a job. OKLA has really jacked up DL rules. Anyway, she is moving back in with her dad on Monday too. She does have a good support system so it is ultimately up to her to stick with it. She like every single one of us has to make her own choices and no matter what we can't change that. We can only try......

If I were to fail at convincing her to make a different choice if I found her in the hobby, there would only be one choice for me,,, educate her WELL. You can't go through a brick wall, but you sometimes climb it or find another way around.

Which reminds me,,, I need to pick up those forms from the college!

That is a great and heartfelt answer, Blaze. We have to love our kids no matter what. We may not agree with every choice they make, but we have to let THEM make their own choices in life and support them as best we can.

Blaze, why would you discourage them from this occupation? One lady told me it is because you take a lot of emotional strain from it. Do you think it is an occupation of last resort? Or does it just plain suck like most occupations? (Wait, that was a bad choice of words)

Blaze, it does my heart good to hear a parent say that they want everything for their children, but realize at somepoint they are going to do what they want. All we as parents can do is LOVE THEM and stand back and support them. I wish you the best of luck in your parenting.

Blaze, why would you discourage them from this occupation? One lady told me it is because you take a lot of emotional strain from it. Do you think it is an occupation of last resort? Or does it just plain suck like most occupations? (Wait, that was a bad choice of words) Originally Posted by FatManHobbyist

FMH, Have you ever thought about fucking a bunch of old fat women for a living?

Think about it.....

It is a profession of last resort for most women. Many (not all) women are here because other issues in their life have eliminated other possibilities for them. Studies also show that 75% of them have suffered some form of abuse when they were younger; psychologically they are predisposed to this lifestyle.

As to the original question, Fox summed it up nicely. " Do as I say, not as I do."

FMH, Have you ever thought about fucking a bunch of old fat women for a living?

Think about it.....

It is a profession of last resort for most women. Many (not all) women are here because other issues in their life have eliminated other possibilities for them. Studies also show that 75% of them have suffered some form of abuse when they were younger; psychologically they are predisposed to this lifestyle. Originally Posted by cpi3000

True, ladies?

I have two daughters ages 21 and 23, and no I would not want them in this profession---but not for the reasons you may think. This is one rough profession. I would not want them dealing with some of the ilk that providers have to deal with---and it's mostly not the guys on the boards. I would be worried about the extreme fringe element. Also, I have a soft spot in my heart for the truly pathetic---I am sorry but there is no other teerm. Once upon a lifetime ago I taught school and know first hand that not everybody is equipped well for taking on this life---so yeah I feel sorry for some folks. I could not imagine having to deal with that faction.

That is why I hold providers in such high regard. genrally they are beautiful, smart, compassionate, kind, and good business people. Plus your customer service has to be extraordinaary inorder to be successful. I think it is the overall makeup of the business that I would want to shelter them from rather than the sexual aspect. I think this is a really hard profession ---it's not all about getting laid for cash---much more goes into it. I personally could never be a provider so I guess I cannot imagine my kids being one either. It's hard to be soft one minute and a hard ass bitch the next---when one needs to be. Human nature is too unpredicatble.

Blaze, why would you discourage them from this occupation? One lady told me it is because you take a lot of emotional strain from it. Do you think it is an occupation of last resort? Or does it just plain suck like most occupations? (Wait, that was a bad choice of words) Originally Posted by FatManHobbyist

LMAO, sucking yes it does! I am damn good at it too! But there are so many scary things within. We all know how much time and effort it takes to really get all we need down to stay safe and even that sometimes isn't good enough. After all these years I am still learning and will till the day I stop.

I was a dancer for 13 yrs and never did anything under or over the table so to speak, I just danced. I left that for massage and quickly that all changed. I did it for the wrong reasons I confess, but over the years it has proved to be the right choice for me. I am single and well paid. I do not date and do not wish to. We all know the dynamics of single parents dating and all the BS that can arise when you introduce a new figure to the family, I just can't seem to fathom it. As to the emotional strain, OH DON"T GET ME STARTED! I do miss the snuggling part of a relationship when it's been a really rough day or week.

If I were to commit my lazy butt to going to school I could very easily. I guess I'm just not ready. But as for her she has nothing but metabolism and age working in her favor plus a mamma and daddy more than willing to go the extra mile for her. If she came to me or I found out that she in her lets say late 20's or 30's, I would already know where her mind was at. It's not like shes at an ivy league school and would be doing it for an investment, then I could rationally stand behind her. Shes not money minded and for her at this time would be a very bad choice.

Fact of the matter is this, we don't grow up thinking " YA! I wanna be a hooker!". My mother knows about me and this is what she has said, " Well its not what I had wanted, but you have your reasons". She stands behind me 100%.

I should write another book about the hobby, LOL, NOT!

The thing that bothers me in this whole discussion is the denial of parental responsibility. Here is what I hear people saying in some way or another.

1) If my kid decides to become a hooker then what can I do except support them?
2) I can’t criticize my kid for doing it since I do it.
3) Once they are an adult they will do what they want to do and it is not my fault.

I honestly believe that ALL kids are a direct result of the efforts of the parents. The way kids turn out is 99% a direct result of the efforts of the parents both directly and indirectly. Most kids would NEVER consider this hobby and one must ask why is that? I believe it is because THOSE kids were exposed to a balanced life style with roots in church, good societal environment, a clear understand of morals and principles that most live their life by, etc. As an example, why is it that we often confess that providers come from broken homes 90% of the time with dysfunctional families as the norm for guidance concerning right and wrong. Many kids drink because the parents saw drinking as an OK issue even though they may or may not actually drink. Kids smoke and is usually a result of members in their family smoking. Girls end up pregnant at 15 because their mother was pregnant at 15. Kids get divorced because their parents saw divorce as an option instead of working through the problems. All of these examples are failures of the parents in bringing up their kids. What I see in observing these parents, and to some extent the people discussing this here, is a belief that somehow it is all justified in their eyes by telling themselves it must be OK since the parent does it. To state that it is wrong would be to admit that what THEY are doing is wrong.

I look at areas like Oak Cliff that has a high rate of crime. Kids are not disciplined, single parent families, divorce, drugs, smoking, drinking, and in most cases, a terrible environment that produces a higher than normal crime rate.

I am not trying to step on anyone’s toes here, and in many regards I am the pot calling the kettle black, but should my kid attempt to enter into this hobby, I would NOT be so naïve to think that at 22 yrs old it is HIS or HER decision and I in someway did not have a hand in it as a parent. More realistically, it is MY failure to instill the proper values into their soul that has created a void in them that would even allow that to happen. I WOULD TAKE THE BLAME 100%.

I also would not support them in that endeavor, I would make it clear that it is NOT acceptable under any circumstance, and they could NOT rely on me for support in any way while involved in that activity. It is called TOUGH LOVE. Even though I might have failed as a parent, they still are adults with the free will to make decisions, and while knowing right from wrong, are fully capable to doing the right thing…..just as all of us are.

I simply cannot buy into this belief that just because I do it, that it is OK if they do it and I am suppose to support that in some guilt ridden way. I would like to think that I am adult enough to say they are the way they are because of MY efforts as a parent….good or bad. The bad and good choices they make in life are a result of the parents efforts......or lack thereof.

Wow..

Strip away all the Fluff.....and tell me how you Really feel about My profession.

Interesting.


MY KID = NO PROVIDER

My Parents would work 10 jobs so I wouldn't do this 1.
Because, they're My parents. I know how they think. I know how they would feel.

YOU BE YOU

EVERYONE BE A PARENT TO YOUR OWN KIDS!
HOW YOU DO IT IS YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

If your girl is going to do this for a living....and she is brave enough to "Let YOU" know about it......
I'd suggest you shut up and listen.

Then...Go, do your Parent thing.

Aaaand Smack her upside the head!
What is she Crazy?!! She's Grounded til she's 40! I know that much!

Damn, I need a raise.

Oh, wait....maybe I don't. I don't know...I'm feeling all dysfunctional n stuff.



~Kelly TNT

I never said I wouldn't criticize! I most likely would and whole lot more to discourage her. BUT, in the end she would do what she would do. I understand tough love. I told her NOT to get pregnant, not to send smoke signals to the Gods, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Did she listen, uhh huh, but did she obey, hell no!

I even kicked my oldest son out of my house because he told me he was grown. I said good get the hell out and get a damn job then! He did and is doing just fine. Each situation is different and each child of ours is different. Was I supposed to do the same to her when she became pregnant? DBL standard maybe, my kids my choice. I have made up my own handbook for raising kids and it is still under revisement. I have four kiddos 20 and 18 and soon to 17 and 12, I QUIT!

BTW, I had my first child at the ripe old age of 20 married and all. I had all those morals, rules, fear of GOD, and much more. But still yet here I am on my own choice. I have beat the living tar out of my kids at times and yes disciplined them too. I had a good southern upbringing and picked my OWN switches and I can say in a sweet mannerly way tell somebody to get $#%'d. I still say yes ma'am and yes sir to those I address not knowing their age, but out of respect and so do my children.

I think that type of mentality that says, if you say its ok to allow a girl to take birth control you are condoning sex, BFS! It is simply an extra step if you know they might. So BBFS or CFS? We know the answer.

Folks, interesting posts which are pretty much what I expected when I first saw this thread. I will point out that when I posted the cliché “Do as I say, not as I do” at the beginning of this thread, I was serious. Does that mean I think it is ok for me to be here? Hell no, I know I am not supposed to be here. Yet, I also know my kid would never cross into this world so for me that is not an issue I am concerned with. However, hypothetically, if my kiddo where to become a provider, I would view that as my failure as her Dad and Father. I would do whatever I could to get her out because I would not accept this world for her.

As for parental responsibility, each parent has the obligation and responsibility to not only provide for their child’s well being which includes making sure they know they are loved and wanted by Mom and Dad but it also includes Mom and Dad leading by example. That means showing the children right from wrong at a young age and reinforcing that throughout their lives even when they are grown, have a spouse and children of their own. In other words, setting their moral compass at a very young age and then showing them as long as you live what should and should not be done by your actions, i.e. allowing them to judge you by your fruits.

* Note – In case some folks don’t understand what I meant above, we are not to judge people by saying they are going to heaven or hell, since we don’t make that judgment. However, we are supposed to judge people by looking at the fruits of their actions to determine what kind of a person they are.

Of course, I expect some will not like what I just wrote but that is tough. That is how I think parents should be and that is how I am with my kiddo. That is why I know she will never get into this world, ever.

However, hypothetically, if my kiddo where to become a provider, I would view that as my failure as her Dad and Father. I would do whatever I could to get her out because I would not accept this world for her.

In other words, setting their moral compass at a very young age and then showing them as long as you live what should and should not be done by your actions, i.e. allowing them to judge you by your fruits. Originally Posted by LonesomeDove

THANK YOU as I now know I am not alone as a parent.

One of the more interesting threads of late.....BTW

Considering the responses of the ladies, I need to rethink my position and participation in prostitution.

Considering the responses of the ladies, I need to rethink my position and participation in prostitution. Originally Posted by FatManHobbyist

Just what I was thinking. Let me explain why.

The first thought that I had before reading some of the statement from some of the women here was that part of the typical "do as I say, not as I do" mentality we see directed at daughters is the different (and arguably biased) view society takes toward male and female participants in the hobby. It seems almost beyond dispute that there is a much greater social and legal stigma placed of providers than hobbyists. And I first thought that one of the best explanations of the so called hypocrisy was that disparity in stigmatization.

Query this: Would you feel substantially different if you learned that your young son was patronizing providers on a regular basis (let's say compared to learning that your daughter was not providing full time, but making extra money providing about once a week, while going to college -- to make the time comparisons roughly the same)? I suspect that most would fell differently. And if so, is that because there is really any more harm to providing on a part time basis? Or is it because of stigmatization issues?

However, reading some of the bitter views posted about the life of a provider causes me to rethink that a bit. Not that the stigtimization hypothis is inaccurate, but perhaps that's not the main reason for the hypocrisy. If the full time job of a provider is so misserable, dispiriting, and demoralizing as CPI suggests, perhaps prostitution is really not a victimless crime as I suspect most of us would otherwise contend. Thoughts?

(For those who thinks it matters, I have a 19 year old daughter who is doing very well as a Junior at a Ivy League university. Given her personality, I can't imagine her doing this. It's not confrontational enough for her. She wants to fight somebody and wants to beat the shit out of them in a battle of wits. A born lawyer or philsopher. But I'm sure I would be upset if she were to suddenly do this for a living. However, I think my prime motivation would be that she is capable of excelling in far more mentally challenging fields that I would be disapointed that she didn't fully use the talents that she had been given. I have a 17 year old who is less aggressive, but just as unlikely to do this for other reasons having to do with her personality. Driven, detail oriented, shyish, pre-med or astrophysics type, but doesn't like confilct. She'll start a near Ivy privite University in the NYC in August. I have no son.)