Telling someone you don't mesh and don't want to see them.

Honest, as long as it isn't based on just one comment or message. I've had a bad run lately of making an innocent comment (whether text, FB, or in person) that didn't come out sounding the way that I meant for it to. That's one reason I've learned to hate text messages, they're so short and cryptic that they often don't come across the way they were intended. It happens sometimes, but I felt horrible when I realized how the other person took it.

Please tell me if you don't think we'll mesh. I have no problem telling you, either.

I honestly hate text message too. But when a more than one red flag flies via text message, it is my hint to exit stage left.

If I've never met them then honesty. If we have met and didn't mesh then we should both know it so I'm not sure why an explanation would be necessary. If they want to see me again but I'd rather not then it's a bit of a juggling act depending on a lot of factors. If they are clingy or were too rough then it's better to remain unavailable. Both clingy and aggressive types have the potential to be vengeful if they feel rejected. So in those cases honesty is not the best policy and it's better just to slowly back away. Originally Posted by thathottnurse

What she said.

I require a brief conversation, over the phone, before meeting. One can glean a lot about a person by hearing their voice. And although it's rare, I've told the guy that I just didn't think that we would be a good match.

And a few times, when that's happened, the person has gotten very aggressive with me and that's before we've met.

I try to be a bit more politic these days, with those type of calls.

When the chemistry is lacking, well, most of my client base are fairly sophisticated men. We know what is what. And for the most part, if something wasn't great between us, he goes in a different direction.

If things were just BAD, and that just rarely happens, and he wanted to see me again? I might be more tempted to see him again to see if we could have a better time.

And it's been known to happen.

I just judge each situation on its' own merits. I don't see an issue with telling a man no. I've done it for a variety of reasons.

A man isn't going to DIE if he doesn't get laid.

Elisabeth

P.S. If a guy is rude during texting, I'm quick to let those men just GO. Life is too short to waste time with guys who are knowingly (or not) being clueless. And often, they're not worth the effort to school.

Well a man wont die if he doesn't get laid by me. LOL

Just be straight, but not mean. Leave out the you're an asshole and I shouldn't have a problem moving on when you say "I don't feel comfortable seeing you, I'm sorry".

I have a choice after reading a review whether or not I want to see someone and if I don't, she never knows of my decision anyway.

kayleehotchick................ .....I am dying

Well a man wont die if he doesn't get laid by me. LOL Originally Posted by Kayleehotchick

I am still alive so it must be true.

Honesty can be expensive. You have to admire a provider with the ethical fortitude to deny themselves the income out of concern for others. I'm sure it doesn't happen often enough. Then again, I doubt if many actually think that far ahead. Especially the new and/or younger providers that do not really know what to expect from their clients. Guys pick providers that they desire and feel compatible with. I have learned to go a step further and try to evaluate her compatibility with me. Otherwise, her lack of concern can result in just the type of session you mentioned.

Well a man wont die if he doesn't get laid by me. LOL Originally Posted by Kayleehotchick

^^^^^^^^^
This, the sooner hobbyists and providers alike realize this, the happier we'll all be!

I would prefer honesty. I actually would have more respect for someone if they were honest. That way, I can move on and try my luck with someone else.

Actually, Kaylee & THN, if you were to be honest with someone, they get butthurt and go batshit crazy with you, aren't they the ones who are digging themselves into a hole? Doesn't it confirm your reasons why not to see them?

Yes....it is.

In an adult world, one should be able to simply tell the other they are not interested and that should be the end of it. Of course, that's the rub, this is often far from adult. I would like to know sooner than later. Would even like to know why in case its something I may have done or said without realizing how it was being perceived. But, its seldom that easy. In many cases, the provider will come off as a bitch either way. Most people, especially women, prefer to take the least confrontational way out. I would think it would have to be a case by case basis. All one can do is what they think is best and let it go. Either way, you have to be willing to live with your choices knowing they will never make some people happy.

Just remember, if you tell a really big lie and you get caught, its far worse. I went to see a new gal. Had what I thought was great session, she asked me to come see her again soon. When I tried to reach her a few weeks later, I was told by her friend she had quit the business. Then a couple of weeks later, a review pops up on her. I inquired if she had decided to work again and when could I book with her but never heard back. Very irritating at the time. Now, if I were to be asked about her, I would not be nearly as positive about her as I would have been had I been treated more professionally.

Bottom line, honesty is the best policy but that has to be tempered with your perception of how the other person will handle it.

Well a man wont die if he doesn't get laid by me. LOL Originally Posted by Kayleehotchick

You got an actual audible laugh on that one.

Just be honest....but nice.

Honest and upfront.

I fuck personalities more than people.

There have been a handful of times when I told a fella we didn't make a good match.

Once, the guy started a campaign against me in retaliation.

Another time the guy respectfully understood, but came back weeks later bugging again. Even bugged friends of mine trying to "get the reason" out of them.

Once, with permission from others involved, I bluntly told the fucker that he couldn't get the gift of licking my feet because of all the alerts against him and to go suck rocks. That one never bugged me again.

My reasons are my reasons.

Most fellas understand and move along.

Once in a while, I reevaluate some of my decisions and reach out to a couple of the ones who I may have just taken a joke the wrong way, or was having an off day myself and judged too harshly.

I rely heavily on my gut feeling. It works out well for me. Also, y'all fuckers KNOW we chicks talk... a lot... right? Don't pull some shit with suzyq and think it hasn't gotten back to bananajane.

Telling a white lie usually backfires. Some idiots are too dense to see what is happening and it won't solve the issue.

Another tactic I've seen a lot of is simply deflecting. "I am busy"... "Family in town"... after a while of missed opportunities it seems people get the point or just get fed up. I am not a fan of this, but it works for some.