Asking about the Donation

Ok, ladies, how should I have handled this one?
Session is a week away. I asked for 90 min. I booked through ECCIE pm. On the ECCIE showcase, there is no 90 min. rate and multiple hours are not just a simple multiple of the hour rate. I check her website and p411 for a 90 min. rate and find two rate schedules which are different from the ECCIE rate schedule.

I sent a pm asking in as humorous and gentle way as I could, how many governmental engravings I should bring. I've met the lady socially and we converse comfortably on occasion, but this will be our first bcd session.

How should I have handled this situation?

As I kick Tntangie on the ankle and True whatever too lol. I never said i ask nor did I say I was going to ask but there are more providers offering specials and discounts outside of there posted rates. HOwever I am not sure if a lady should be offended if asked if they are offering specials or any promos via pm, p411 or whatever form during the initial contact. A provider can say yes or no. Once answered then that should be the end of convo as far as rates. Now if a guy asks for prices or specials upon arrival please send him on his merry way.

Don't forget that unless the client on ECCIE has Premium Access he can SEE your showcase but he can't see the portion that shows donation.


The OP said the question was asked AFTER he passed her screening. Ever think that maybe he doesn't have PA and wanted to find that out?

He didn't ask a single thing (as far as we know) prior to her checking him out.

If you (or any other providers) were afraid that a fully screened client was looking to trap you into saying something that might get you arrested then you really need to re-think your screening methods.....

Next you're gonna tell me that when a fully screened client lets you know that he is into Greek and that it has been mentioned in reviews and on your showcase but all they say is that a tip was involved and no "upcharge" for that is on your showcase, he is supposed to GUESS what it's gonna cost him to stick it in your ass?

As I kick Tntangie on the ankle and True whatever too lol. I never said i ask nor did I say I was going to ask ... Originally Posted by Thatdude

And I answered your question, from my point of view. My answer wasn't directed AT you, just answering the question Although your question does seem to be targeted towards the ladies or Safire specifically, so perhaps I shouldn't have even offered my opinion? Either way, no disrespect was intended toward you at all. It's all good dude!

If you (or any other providers) were afraid that a fully screened client was looking to trap you into saying something that might get you arrested then you really need to re-think your screening methods..... Originally Posted by LazurusLong

She said she was uncomfortable. This seems to imply a LE concern, but could also just have been a severe turn-off for her or something else, not LE related at all. There's tons of things a guy OR a lady can say post-screening that would utterly kill the mood and cause the other to want to immediately cancel/end the session - and many of them have nothing to do with LE.

I guess it boils down to this: is discussing donations in this manner considered rude, normal, dangerous, etc. I think the answers to that question would be largely subjective.

To each their own.

Well how did he find her.

She has a showcase. (Okay if he has PA)
She has a website.
She has P411.

Why didn't ask her before screening?

The first time I see a provider, I email something to the effect:"I would like a two hour date with you tomorrow night, I see your two hour rate on your website and notice you give a $25 discount to P411 members, which is appreciated".
I've never had a problem.

If you (or any other providers) were afraid that a fully screened client was looking to trap you into saying something that might get you arrested then you really need to re-think your screening methods..... Originally Posted by LazurusLong

I was, once, also told that if the food is in the refrigerator it won't go bad because we made sure it was at the right temperature...

All screening does is make sure things are at the right temperature. It does not mean that all will now be immune from going bad or that if it does it is somehow failure on our part. The person I spoke of I screened... I have his name, email, number, P411 w/16+ oks, his Eccie handle and anything else I may have needed before meeting anyone. All the same just because I have done all my work to be prepared does not mean that things will not go sour because the temperature was right. Being fully screened does not mean that it is ok to then throw discretion out the window because all should be ok. In theory it may seem so until you maybe get to be one of the lucky ones that finds out the hard way that theory doesn't always equal reality. Most of us have many concerns on either side, getting our wrists slapped is only one.

Discretion is in place to protect both sides not just us ladies. I see what you gents mean when you refer to the confusion, but if I am asked a question and I politely ask if you have looked at my website, then I would hope you would go take a look at my website. If a gent persists his questioning without taking a hint it then, for me at least, can become uncomfortable. If a lady has a special offer and an email and you are that unsure maybe you could copy and paste the ad you found then send it in an email request titled 'appointment request'. However, I have not ever been on the non-provider side so this may be an ignorant idea also for reasons I did not think of. What I was told by the few I know, with far more hobby experience than I, is that it is never a good idea to forgo discretion.

im not that bright and dont recall ever needing to discuss rates.

If someone discusses rates in person and is new, I politely reschedule since it completely spooks me. I don't mind questions before the session through p411.

well and this is just me i figure what ever the lowest posted rate is i pay. i figure its because i am a member of that site i get that rate. i usually contact through that site but will also after getting a response from that site send a message from p411 for screening. i have only had one issue and was asked to return and add to the donation. we talked and split the difference and she said she was not aware and would take care of the change. most ladies here are good people and will make it right. anyway just pick the website you contacted her through and go for it!

How about just asking,

"Where can I go look to make sure I have the most current information?"

or

"Can you send me a link of your current information so I will know before I come over?"

Hmmmm, I have P411 with some Provider OK's and, I think, no BCD or payment drama floating around and no history of, ahem, "negotiating." So, I can't ask a simple, direct question? Some of the fine ladies have been known to increase their rates and I really don't want to show up light in the financial loafers. Probably just me thinking that there's some overthinking going on.

damn him to hell for asking!