Loving More Than One

Charles, I am a widower of almost 14 years, my marriage, and my Wife, were phenominol.

I have chose to never marry again because I have had the one love of my life.

I have affection for others, especially the Lady I see exclusivly. But that is not Love, or at least by my definition of what constitutes real love. Originally Posted by Jackie S

I highly respect this point you are making. And I think you are unique among men. And I think a lot of ladies would think so, too.

I don't fall in LOVE any more! I fall in LUST! It makes things a lot easier! Originally Posted by Still Looking

That's why I'm here, to fall in LUST for only an hour or two at a time.

Sure it is. The concept of love in our society is a restricted one due to social ethics morals , etc. There is a concept called "Polyamory" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory where people openly admit to loving more than one person, and have multiple parallel relationships with different levels (primary, secondary...) or non hierarchical approaches.
Plus, open relationships and non-monogamous arrrangements have been around since centuries.
There are many different love styles , too. John Alan Lee has found about 6 different ways of lovestyles, and I assume you can love different people in different ways. Problem is the ability to be legit about these things, since we live in a society that enforces "heteronormativity"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heteronormativity by moral and legal codes and sanctionizes aberrative behaviour as "sick". In specific terms relating to loving more than one person this means "mono heteronormativity" http://books.google.ch/books?id=8Y49...tivity&f=false

There are many different love styles , too. Originally Posted by ninasastri

I think the Greeks coined three different words for "love," maybe more. Filios, eros, and I forget the other one. And I'm too lazy to go to Wiki.

Sure it is. The concept of love in our society is a restricted one due to social ethics morals , etc. There is a concept called "Polyamory" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory where people openly admit to loving more than one person, and have multiple parallel relationships with different levels (primary, secondary...) or non hierarchical approaches.
Plus, open relationships and non-monogamous arrrangements have been around since centuries.
There are many different love styles , too. John Alan Lee has found about 6 different ways of lovestyles, and I assume you can love different people in different ways. Problem is the ability to be legit about these things, since we live in a society that enforces "heteronormativity"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heteronormativity by moral and legal codes and sanctionizes aberrative behaviour as "sick". In specific terms relating to loving more than one person this means "mono heteronormativity" http://books.google.ch/books?id=8Y49...tivity&f=false Originally Posted by ninasastri

I knew you were going to write this.

Certainly you can love more than one person.

Your mother, father, grandparents, siblings, best friend or anyone that can be considered a 'loved one.'

...but is it possible to be in love with more than one person? Many relationships have ended where one or the other has fallen out of love with their partner and in love with someone else. You may still love that person but are you still in love with them?

To me, there's a big difference between loving someone and being in love with them.

I think it's definitely possible to love more than one person. However, I prefer monogomy. There's something a little more special when you're only "sharing" yourself with one person. That being said, I don't believe humans (espcially men) are monogomous creatures.
If anyone's watched "sister wives" I actually give them a lot of credit. Originally Posted by Shayla

I am completely monogamous when I'm in a committed
relationship with someone.

Hey Shayla I see that you Canadians sometimes have a
little trouble with your spelling too.

I am completely monogamous when I'm in a committed
relationship with someone.

Hey Shayla I see that you Canadians sometimes have a
little trouble with your spelling too. Originally Posted by bojulay

Yeah, I know... I even have auto-correct but just ignored it lol

Certainly you can love more than one person.

Your mother, father, grandparents, siblings, best friend or anyone that can be considered a 'loved one.'

...but is it possible to be in love with more than one person? Many relationships have ended where one or the other has fallen out of love with their partner and in love with someone else. You may still love that person but are you still in love with them?

To me, there's a big difference between loving someone and being in love with them. Originally Posted by john353

A VERY big difference. You can love a person with all of your being to extreme depths. But, nothing can match the spiritual connection you feel when actually IN LOVE with someone.

I am completely monogamous when I'm in a committed relationship with someone. Originally Posted by bojulay

Yeah, I'm in a committed relationship one hour at a time. But not necessarily monogamous. 3-some is on the bucket list.

Well I see love as a choice not something that just happens. People tend to use it as something they just can't help when doing something they shouldn't be doing and I don't mean what society says is wrong, I mean when you make a commitment to someone then turn around and break that commitment they you are doing something wrong. Not to society but to the person you made the commitment to.

Considering I believe we are the ones in control of choosing who we love and don't then I'd say yes you can love 1,2,3 or more at one time if you so choose.

I don't really consider it wrong if all involved agree to it but if they aren't or you are lying to get what you want then that is where it is wrong.

Also while it is still a choice there are differences in the type of commitment you will have from one person to the next. I don't consider love an emotion because if it was then it would change and be up and down. It isn't supposed to be that way. It's supposed to be steady and consistent.

now SL we all know who your true soul mate is...the one you bricker with the most is the one you secretly love....just sayin....

I don't fall in LOVE any more! I fall in LUST! It makes things a lot easier! Originally Posted by Still Looking

I have no answer to this question except to say you can love many people in many different ways...but being "in love" I can honestly say I have never let myself fall in love with anyone ever.... Originally Posted by Irish Vixen

IV, you surprised me with this answer. ijs

why would that surprise you?? just speaking the truth....

IV, you surprised me with this answer. ijs Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

@IV

You are such a loving person on these boards. Just my POV.