Providers and Hobbyists: A Question

[@AA--been wondering where you disappeared to. I know it's trite, but I'll say it anyway, "Sorry for your loss."] Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

+1

Yes, AA, I too am sorry for your loss. Feel bad for missing that the first time.

No, they don't know. No, I'd never tell them. Yes, they would most definitely judge.

Sometimes it sucks living such a secret life. Luckily, I have 1 very good provider friend I can trust who I know is sane & 'normal'. I confide in her for most things & she is my "safecall" when I need one.

I keep this aspect of my life private.There are a few friends that are not in this business know what I do and they are cool.The only person in my family that knows is a cousin who I am kind of wishing I did not tell because every time we have a disagreement somehow what I do gets thrown into the middle of the argument.

I have read in the past about providers who have told their family so they do not worry about being outted or a family member stumbling across their ad or website.They said it is more free and do not have to worry that is great to be able to share if possible.
My parents are from the old school and that would not go over so well.
I do not tell people or family because quite frankly I do not want to hear their mouths.When people start paying my bills they can have some input but since I pay my own bills it is no one's business what I do unless I am comfortable with sharing.

The only family member that knows is also a hobbiest. No one else. There is absolutely nothing to be gained by "spilling the beans."

I'm curious what the cover story is for the provider's income? Not going to a job everyday and always having cash has got to raise eyebrows. Originally Posted by tonytiger4u

First of all any SMART provider is going to have to declare an income. And if she was smarter still she'd declare a good portion of that income, especially if you want to have a retirement fund. An IRA and Roth IRA allow 10-13% of income to be put away yearly. As you know you can't touch that retirement without paying a penalty. When I read or hear about providers or ANY sex worker who works for cash who flaunts about not paying the government, it pisses me off. If you want good credit, if you want to get a loan, if you want to have a nice house and be able to live a normal life and HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW for your years of working and living well as a provider YOU SHOULD DECLARE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN ALLOW. A 1099 form I always had handy, and paid quarterly taxes.

Secondly, what I put on my income tax form was consultant and professional blogger. They never questioned that, and I suppose in some ways it's true, I am a consultant. AN erotic one.

I keep this aspect of my life private.There are a few friends that are not in this business know what I do and they are cool.The only person in my family that knows is a cousin who I am kind of wishing I did not tell because every time we have a disagreement somehow what I do gets thrown into the middle of the argument.

I have read in the past about providers who have told their family so they do not worry about being outted or a family member stumbling across their ad or website.They said it is more free and do not have to worry that is great to be able to share if possible.
My parents are from the old school and that would not go over so well.
I do not tell people or family because quite frankly I do not want to hear their mouths.When people start paying my bills they can have some input but since I pay my own bills it is no one's business what I do unless I am comfortable with sharing. Originally Posted by jaydalee

My parents are old world too, but I could never lie to them. Yes, I don't feel they have to know everything, but to me, if something ever did happen in my line of work they would be even more heartbroken to know I NEVER told them. And my mother knows me well enough where she knew something was up. My father, as fathers are, was never and isn't happy with what I do, but at least I also have an income as a personal trainer. I don't talk about 'work' with my dad, what daughter would? However, he helped me with investing my money, helped me make more money from what money I earned through those investments, co-signed loans with me and so forth. I am incredibly lucky that my relationship with my parents is and has ALWAYS been very close, and while they might not always agree with my choices, they have always respected me. Asian people have this thing called honor, duty, and filial piety.

Filial piety is respect for your parents and for your ancestors. While being a provider might seem sinful and disrespectful in some ways, it isn't seen as such a stigma in the Orient, no matter how many generations removed my parents and I are from those respective countries and values. I know my grandfathers and greatgrandfathers had concubines, who are so to speak, maybe not outright prostitutes, but they were an accepted part of the Japanese society they were part of. So to me, telling them the truth ( but not my other relatives...one other cousin knows, and he's like my brother. My other relatives would blame my parents for raising me to 'be a whore' and I could never tell them something that would put my parents in the blame limelight.)

That being said, I learned to keep my provider aspect of my life secret from others who are not in the biz. I have two very good provider friends, but all other people just...you know, I got into a disagreement with a girl that I thought understood and accepted my profession. And you know what she said to me when we got into a disagreement over something? She said " At least I don't spread my legs for money." So you see, after that, I just said, fuck it, this is my secret life, and it isn't anyone's business what I do. I don't give a shit what people really think of ME, but it's always about " Well how could your parents raise you to be a ______" if you know what I mean. I have a sneaking suspicion though some people at my gym may very well know. But who are they going to tell? Is a guy going to say " I think Ava is a hooker and not just a trainer." They would ask him " How would you know? Did you pay her?"


In some ways I think, being a provider CAN be lonely. So in some ways it could be said I was suited for this. I live a very private life and don't have a lot of friends ( guy buddies more than girl buddies really) and this suits me. I don't party a lot. I don't socialize a lot. I write far better than I speak and so the internet really is a lot of my social interaction.

I am a consultant. AN erotic one. Originally Posted by alluringava

Now, there's an understatement. We have never met, but I daresay you are more than just erotic. I know that when I read your writing and see your pictures, my reaction is visceral.

In some ways I think, being a provider CAN be lonely. So in some ways it could be said I was suited for this. I live a very private life and don't have a lot of friends ( guy buddies more than girl buddies really) and this suits me. I don't party a lot. I don't socialize a lot. I write far better than I speak and so the internet really is a lot of my social interaction. Originally Posted by alluringava

The world of a hobbyist can be lonely also. I don't have any friends. There is no one I would voluntarily talk to on a daily or weekly basis. I'm an extremely awkward socializer, and I'm easily tongue-tied. I am not a glib extrovert. Being in the company of others is hard for me. I don't like crowds and try to stay away from them. One of the reasons I hobby is because I know that the intimacy is limited to one hour (sometimes less). When she leaves, part of me breathes a sigh of relief.

Now, there's an understatement. We have never met, but I daresay you are more than just erotic. I know that when I read your writing and see your pictures, my reaction is visceral.



The world of a hobbyist can be lonely also. I don't have any friends. There is no one I would voluntarily talk to on a daily or weekly basis. I'm an extremely awkward socializer, and I'm easily tongue-tied. I am not a glib extrovert. Being in the company of others is hard for me. I don't like crowds and try to stay away from them. One of the reasons I hobby is because I know that the intimacy is limited to one hour (sometimes less). When she leaves, part of me breathes a sigh of relief. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

People never believe me, but I am actually a very shy nerd. This is me: I interact because I HAVE to at the gym for work, and being a provider actually HELPED me to come out of my shell and make customers feel at ease. But I get nervous all the time before an appointment too...what will I say/do/will he think I'm boring, etc.

I have my glasses on right now and am on the computer, and this is really where I like to be, truth be told.

I'm sure you're just as stunning with your glasses on!! Especially if that is ALL you have on.

None of my family knows. A few friends from school know but that's about it.

First of all any SMART provider is going to have to declare an income. And if she was smarter still she'd declare a good portion of that income, especially if you want to have a retirement fund. An IRA and Roth IRA allow 10-13% of income to be put away yearly. As you know you can't touch that retirement without paying a penalty. When I read or hear about providers or ANY sex worker who works for cash who flaunts about not paying the government, it pisses me off. If you want good credit, if you want to get a loan, if you want to have a nice house and be able to live a normal life and HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW for your years of working and living well as a provider YOU SHOULD DECLARE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN ALLOW. A 1099 form I always had handy, and paid quarterly taxes.

Secondly, what I put on my income tax form was consultant and professional blogger. They never questioned that, and I suppose in some ways it's true, I am a consultant. AN erotic one. Originally Posted by alluringava

I wasn't really referring to Uncle Scam (my term of endearment for the IRS). More toward friends and family and their questions about income. It has to come up at some point.

I have 2 civi friends that know, a guy I used to date and the one I currently date, we met at M&G party so.. well he knows. lol never intended on going there as I try to avoid dating like a virus because of this job, its a hard thing to swallow in the dating pool.. but sometimes you just cant help how you feel and have great chemistry with someone.

I told a very good female friend of mine that i was a hobbyist, and she went off talking about how I didn't need to be doing that and I should have women paying me, youre a good looking dude, what's wrong with you ! I was hurt by her judging me for being a hobbyist because in all honesty she is a total slut, she'll meet a guy or girl for that fact and f(ck them just to piss off the girlfriend or boyfriend. After that incident I made sure I kept my mouth shut !

my SO is fine with me doing "whatever I need to do".... and the same goes for her also... this started with my 40th BD - she took me to Vegas - got a suite at the Four Season... the 2nd days she announced i was getting my BD gift starting @ 10am.... full couples spa treatment...at 2pm, after lunch, she announced she was going shopping for a few hours and that my gift would be at the room by 3... Suffice it to say my gift was "gifted" in many ways... Lucky lady my SO is cause not only did she buy a boatload at the the Forum Shops in CP, but she also earned her own "treat" the next day.... finding an acceptable male provider, one that is not bi/gay was harder (no pun intended) than you'd think it would be in LV

I know what I do, and my driver knows.. I have friends who are also providers who know.. But I also have friends who are providers who dont know.. But thats about it..

People never believe me, but I am actually a very shy nerd. This is me: I interact because I HAVE to at the gym for work, and being a provider actually HELPED me to come out of my shell and make customers feel at ease. But I get nervous all the time before an appointment too...what will I say/do/will he think I'm boring, etc.

I have my glasses on right now and am on the computer, and this is really where I like to be, truth be told. Originally Posted by alluringava

Correction a sexy shy Nerd sorry for your loss

for the most part my hobby life is a secret except my family and friends know i go to SC from time to time