Knowing what you know now ... how would you do things differently?

  • Caleb
  • 10-06-2015, 05:33 PM
A beautiful lady escorted me into the hobby and provided a lot of sage advice as I started. For some bizarre and totally out of character reason, I actually followed most of her advice. As a result, there is very little I would do over. I have had mostly great experiences on our playground. From the perspective of posting, her advice was to avoid drama threads at all costs. "There is no way to jump in a sewer, swim around with all the turds in there, and not come out smelling like shit". Wisdom.



If the ladies don't participate in the coed forums, it becomes nothing but male posters which leads to stagnant topics.

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Originally Posted by Shea Veile
When I first found these boards, I learned a lot by lurking and reading as much as I could. The insight provided by the ladies was incredibly valuable. I have long been attracted to intelligent ladies who are able to formulate and communicate their opinions. And I found many whose thoughtfulness, insight and experience were well articulated without being bitchy. Shea and Elisabeth and Reese Foster are a few that seem to consistently be helpful while maintaining a graceful, respectful dialog.

I have also greatly admired posts from some very opionated ladies who were firm in their convictions, polarizing in their arguments, and generally well informed and well spoken. Perhaps it is that I usually agreed with what they were saying. ~Ze~, TNTAngie, TheOriginalDannie and a few others fit this mold.

Seems the Coed board is more combative and less informative than it was a few years ago, and that is unfortunate. Without the insight I gained here, I am sure my early hobby experiences would have been much more chaotic.
doug_dfw's Avatar
Caleb: excellent thoughts.
doug_dfw's Avatar
Knowing what you know now, about the demimonde, and you were able to do things ALL over again and start fresh (key word) ... what would you do differently?

This question is for both sexes and both sides of our equation.

Thanks,
Elisabeth Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers
In my first thought to stray from my vows, seek a sexual psychiatrist, and demolish the urge; not working, seek surgery; not working, wear a chastity belt and only my SO has the key. Today I would be a multi millionaire instead of working my ass off to support my addiction. You asked.

PS I know this is as all theoretical fantasy; 10/31 is tickling by bones.
hedster's Avatar
Financial security is easy to ignore and hard to stick with... this is good advice indeed !

To answer this question properly would require me to do the very thing I have learned not to do. So I'm going to learn and keep my damn mouth shut.


To answer so that I contribute something.... PAY YOURSELF FIRST. For God sake, take out that 28% you would have paid in Taxes and put it away. Not that I'm implying for a second you don't pay your taxes. Just pay yourself first. If you get to 10 years in and you've saved nothing, you will look back and see the money that just fell through your hands and REGRET not being smarter. Regret is your worst enemy here and you have all the power. You will never miss 30 bucks a session. That money does not exist. The rest is up to you. Originally Posted by LovingKayla
hedster's Avatar
Good comments Laura..

Maybe be more specific about a dominant theme for the session content
up-front.

There isn't too much I'd do differently. I was given great advice when I started to not be too social, not be too active on the boards, and not trust too many. Originally Posted by Laura Lynn
I would have kept my circle smaller. Drama and I do not get along. Lesson learned.
My FIRST and Primary regret is not starting earlier in life.

My SECOND regret is not leaning more towards FBSM from the beginning. I enjoy it so much.
  • Gbfsl
  • 10-07-2015, 06:40 AM
I started in this hobby world very late in life. In the three years I have been at it I have met some incredible ladies. I have loved, laughed, lost, and cried. But I would not change a thing. I have enjoyed more fun, had more sex, and enjoyed more passion than I ever imagined. so much pleasure...so many memories...nope, would not change a thing.
bored@home's Avatar
Mentally; read less... Ignorance is bliss
Physically; shower shoes
Excellent topic Elizabeth, thank you!

I regret completely obsessing over what I could not control when I first started on here. I spent months dangerously dieting to become a "spinner" making numerous consultations for breast implants, trying to learn how to "twerk" (yes I took pole dancing classes and was an epic fail), writing out gimmicky and cheesy ads to post (which never made it, thank God!) getting caught up in the stupid "No AA" threads, almost compromising my privacy with peer pressure to show my face and as you mentioned, trusting a certain individual with my personal life. Live & Learn

I finally stopped and realized I didn't have to change anything but my clothes everyday and redirect that energy on accepting myself as is. I wasted alot of time. I'm so grateful I didn't start doing this at a young age. I'd be a complete hot mess Lol
TinMan's Avatar
Actually, I'm more surprised at the mistakes I didn't make.

I always worked hard at protecting my RL information. Maybe I learned my lessons before the advent of Google and social media.

I never fell in love with a provider.

I always viewed this as a "hobby", and not something essential to my life. Family and work have always come first.

Most of my mistakes came early, before the online world became a dangerous place. Otherwise, I'd probably have some regrets.
Excellent topic Elizabeth, thank you!

I regret completely obsessing over what I could not control when I first started on here. I spent months dangerously dieting to become a "spinner" making numerous consultations for breast implants, trying to learn how to "twerk" (yes I took pole dancing classes and was an epic fail), writing out gimmicky and cheesy ads to post (which never made it, thank God!) getting caught up in the stupid "No AA" threads, almost compromising my privacy with peer pressure to show my face and as you mentioned, trusting a certain individual with my personal life. Live & Learn

I finally stopped and realized I didn't have to change anything but my clothes everyday and redirect that energy on accepting myself as is. I wasted alot of time. I'm so grateful I didn't start doing this at a young age. I'd be a complete hot mess Lol Originally Posted by Bliss of DFW
I love this post. So true.
I mean zero disrespect, I really do. You are an awesome visit. Top notch IOP, beautiful, smart, and a fun personality. That said this is a competetive business and a young girl's game. In order to succeed, there needs to be an edge, especially if you're a MILF type. Whether, that is responding to every ISO, providing services others don't, touring, trolling the chat room, attending Meet and Greets, whatever. People need a niche. I kind of feel that the personality on the board gives you that; I'm not sure you'd be as successful without it. Whether people agree with you or not (I'm about 50/50), you really show your personality here, and you come across as someone with intelligence and an opinion. Again, you provide an awesome service, but there are other MILF types who are as good that are more UTR and not as popular. So in my opinion, this board and the personality you display here gives you an advantage and additional clientele. So to say you wouldn't post here suggests that this has hurt you, when it seems to me (and I fully acknowledge you would know better) this has allowed you to brand yourself.

Wow that's a great great question, EW.

I would have never started posting on this board outside of ads. Its garnered me more enemies that I've never met and likely will never meet nor have they met me. That bothers me a little for some reason. It's weird.

Posting successfully here is an acquired skill and one I could have easily lived without. Considering the kind of negative attention I brought on myself for expressing my opinion poorly in the beginning (and still do on occasion) I would have rather just not posted at all had I to do it over again.

And even though in reality I'm very pragmatic and low key, I've managed to create a "drama queen" label for myself within this two-dimensional platform. That really used to bug me too since I felt misunderstood. I've gotten over it but again, much ado about nothing and a lot of wasted time and concern I could have focused elsewhere.

Reading the board and posting is rather habitual now though. I do it sporadically but I still do it because I enjoy discussing things or because I feel I want to say something. I'm human. Originally Posted by thathottnurse
For me, I would have put a condom on and not married her. Divorcing is going to cost me hundreds of thousands . . .
ElisabethWhispers's Avatar
Demimode definition:
1. A) A class of women supported by wealthy lovers and considered to be promiscuous or otherwise unrespectable.
B) Women prostitutes considered as a group.

2. A group whose respectability is consdered dubious by the status quo.

Sorry, I had to look it up.

To answer the OPs question. I would have saved more money and become wealthier. Originally Posted by Invisible1
Yeah. If you think of the word as meaning "half world" then that really covers the definition.

I have never heard the word used in regular company until a few weeks ago. I was watching an old episode of "Frasier" and the brothers were trying to find some black market caviar, or the such. Just something silly to advance the theme of the episode.

And Frasier said something along the lines of, "We're dealing with the demimonde," and I had to smile.

Just rarely hear that word used unless it's around sex workers.

EW