Why some married men cheat?

albundy's Avatar
In my situation if I didn't "cheat" I wouldn't have sex at all. Absolutely gorgeous wife, for all the good that does me. We're together because of our really young kids, finances, and, well, we're used to being together at this point. We're in our early 40's and we've been together since 9th grade in high school. It has now been over 2 years since the last time we had sex, August 24, 2013. "Regular" girls on the side tend to develop attachments so I've tried to stay away from that. I hate using hookers. I like genuine passion. But, like I said, it's either providers or just jerking off for me.
Bobave's Avatar
The answer to the original question is the old joke -

Q. Why does a dog lick his balls?
A. BECAUSE HE CAN!
butt_her's Avatar
I bet the wives' answer to this question would be interesting!.............LMAO
ICU 812's Avatar
I am legally blind. This means that I cannot drive. Whenever there is something I want to do, someone else is involved in helping me get there . . .so I have no independent life.

for instance; if I decide that I need to browse for nuts and bolts at the hardware store, someone will ask, " Can't it wait, do you need it now?" , and of course most of these types of errands are not that important, so it gets put off. Even if its not inconvenient, someone for my Wife or other family member, there is an implied approval and consent to my activity.

So among other reasons, my activity in The Hobby is an act of affirmation of my independence. As I am a bit older than some of the young bulls here, The Hobby gives me access to women that I could not even think about even when I was younger. Unlike an affare, there is no mess later. The expense is known and the date is a sure thing.

love my wife but she doesn't ever want sex and there's no romance. Originally Posted by bizzly1001
Wedding cake kills the sex drive



"Wife is no longer interested in sex".
Originally Posted by cabletex7
Wedding cake kills the sex drive
Not married, but when I was and I did cheat, it was because I felt completely unappreciated. I was there to provide a great lifestyle for my wife and her pets, but that was it. We were roommates with rings; she essentially fell in love with what I had and tolerated me.

Once her tolerance turned to disdain, I decided I'd had enough and initiated divorce. She actually offered to live in the other end of the house and let me do as I pleased, if we could stay married. I helped her find a moving company. Best money I ever spent.

Now, I do as I please and there are no strangers in my house.
Wakeup's Avatar
Mine: love my wife but she doesn't ever want sex and there's no romance. It's more a warm comfortable friendship with two opposing schedules. Originally Posted by bizzly1001
Then divorce her and move on...or tell her you cheat and she is welcome to as well...
Wakeup's Avatar
We're together because of our really young kids, finances, and, well, we're used to being together at this point. Originally Posted by albundy
None of those are acceptable reasons to stay in a marriage while you're cheating...then again, none of the reasons I've seen posted are acceptable either...
ck1942's Avatar
Everybody has reasons, rationales and opportunities.

In some countries (and religions) plural marriage is not only permitted but encouraged.

No one on this board needs an excuse nor does he or she need to explain why they are here.
thebuffmantraples's Avatar
Because Variety is the spice of Life!
Just for you Wakeup!
Wakeup's Avatar
I love variety! Just not when I've made a public declaration of the binding contract I made with a woman to not cheat on her...just sayin'...
ICU 812's Avatar
[QUOTE=ck1942;1057371380]

In some countries (and religions) plural marriage is not only permitted but encouraged.

QUOTE]

People I know who have been to countries where plural marrages are common paint a less than wonderful picture to me.

Imagine "The Man of the House" in his den sitting in his big chair, sullenly watching a wide screen TV. There is tobacco and whatever else for his bubble pipe at his elbow.

Every 30 min or so some woman brings in fresh coffee or tea and maybe something to nibble. He sits there because the rest of the house (his house) is dominated by various combinations and factions of wives, their mothers and daughters—non of whom like each other—all arguing about whose turn it is to bring him the next round!

Not the place I want my life to be in. So what if the newest wife is 14?
Solitaire's Avatar
1. Human beings are NOT a monogamous species, and society is in severe denial about this, so normal behavior gets stigmatized

2. What is "cheating" anyways? Would sex outside of an open marriage or relationship be considered cheating? No, it's generally not, and why? Every couple in every relationship determines their own unique set of rules to adhere to. Isn't "cheating" when you break the agree-upon rules of the game?

Many insist on and agree to monogamy because they do not understand #1. We force people to contractually agree to do something that is not even part of the human makeup. We do no one any favors by insisting that monogamy is some sort of virtue. Its like an entire room full of people who know Santa doesn't exist, but still pretends that he does. It's insane.

And on the flip side... so she promises to "have and to hold", and she stops "having and holding"... isn't that breaking the agreement? Isn't that also cheating? Again, we force women to contractually agree to something that we know is going to be hormonally turned off at certain junctions of her life, and then blame her for not "taking care of business." Insane.

3. Expansiveness. They say it is important in relationships, but it is important for individuals too. Everyone wants to grow in various areas of their lives, in knowledge, physical capabilities, experiences, and also sexually. No one wants to stay stagnant. When we are growing in one area of our lives, another area may take a back burner.

For women, sometimes as we grow in our role as mother, our sexual selves take a back burner. For some it could be due to energy and focus, or lack thereof. For others it could be that society continually feeds us women that constant subtle stream of slut-shaming. And yet others have reached the limit of their interest - either because that is all they were ever interested in to begin with, or the dude was a jerk one to many times, and ruined it for her, at least where he's concerned.

I don;t think this ever is a thing for guys. If anything, guys just want to keep growing and experiencing new things sexually, and maturing sexually without ever a blip in the timeline.

so that's my nerdy 2 cents worth
albundy's Avatar
I love variety! Just not when I've made a public declaration of the binding contract I made with a woman to not cheat on her...just sayin'... Originally Posted by Wakeup
Um,,,,,,You do realize this is a site for renting pussy, right? Seems like you made a wrong turn at facebook or something.
Wakeup's Avatar
We force people to contractually agree to do something that is not even part of the human makeup. Originally Posted by Solitaire
No one forces anyone into the contract...they both do it willingly...because they're both fucking stupid...

Being fucking stupid, however, is completely irrelevant when it comes to abiding by the rules of the contract itself...