Have you ever...

Try having someone leave you a little present in your shower. And you don't see it until after they leave because that is when you went to clean up the bathroom.

I was so horrified/disgusted and simultaneously pissed off that I ran out of my in-call, down the street looking for him. He saw me coming and took off running. I screamed after him to never bother coming back, because he is a disgusting excuse of a human being.

It was very dramatic, I'm sure I looked like a crazy woman, (people were staring, lol) but it still gave me some satisfaction....however, it did not save me from having to clean that shit up (literally). Worst provider moment of my life.

Try having someone leave you a little present in your shower. And you don't see it until after they leave because that is when you went to clean up the bathroom.

I was so horrified/disgusted and simultaneously pissed off that I ran out of my in-call, down the street looking for him. He saw me coming and took off running. I screamed after him to never bother coming back, because he is a disgusting excuse of a human being.

It was very dramatic, I'm sure I looked like a crazy woman, (people were staring, lol) but it still gave me some satisfaction....however, it did not save me from having to clean that shit up (literally). Worst provider moment of my life. Originally Posted by Victoria of Houston

that is so awful

I was so horrified/disgusted and simultaneously pissed off ...

... Worst provider moment of my life. Originally Posted by Victoria of Houston

Sounds like it had Victoria down in the dumps.

Sounds like it had Victoria down in the dumps. Originally Posted by chicagoboy

The toilet surely would have.... Where as steam of water will kill a turd....

But this is too fucking funny not to picture... A chunky chick racing through the hotel... To catch a turd burgler , in her house coat....

Sounds like it had Victoria down in the dumps. Originally Posted by chicagoboy

The toilet surely would have.... Where as steam of water will kill a turd....

But this is too fucking funny not to picture... A chunky chick racing through the hotel... To catch a turd burgler , in her house coat.... Originally Posted by lookn4boobies

Why is it always the Sophmores?

R Duke

Lmao!!

The toilet surely would have.... Where as steam of water will kill a turd....

But this is too fucking funny not to picture... A chunky chick racing through the hotel... To catch a turd burgler , in her house coat.... Originally Posted by lookn4boobies

The OP's friend should've asked for a prostate massage. Originally Posted by chicagoboy

This is fucking hilarious 😂

Dorfy, takes it up a notch

2 the night before any session

trust me

only had it happen once, wiped with a hand towel and folded it back into towel rack.....lol!!

But this is too fucking funny not to picture... A chunky chick racing through the hotel... To catch a turd burgler , in her house coat.... Originally Posted by lookn4boobies

Who said anything about a hotel or a house coat? You guys really do concoct little fantasies for yourselves.

A fart is just a turd honking to pass. Heed your body's signs and take a crap before you show up. Make sure your asshole is spotlessly clean before the session. This applies to both Dudes and Providers. Nothing puts the brakes on faster than the wrong odor below.

Try having someone leave you a little present in your shower. And you don't see it until after they leave because that is when you went to clean up the bathroom.

I was so horrified/disgusted and simultaneously pissed off that I ran out of my in-call, down the street looking for him. He saw me coming and took off running. I screamed after him to never bother coming back, because he is a disgusting excuse of a human being.

It was very dramatic, I'm sure I looked like a crazy woman, (people were staring, lol) but it still gave me some satisfaction....however, it did not save me from having to clean that shit up (literally). Worst provider moment of my life. Originally Posted by Victoria of Houston

Dude walked to the appointment?

Yes sir. This was when I was living and working in London. My in-call was about a 3 minute walk from a tube station. Everyone walks everywhere in London. I never drove once while I lived there for 3 1/2 years.

been in mid session, getting a massage when all of a sudden you feel it - you gotta take a shit. Like, there's no way around it. You absolutely have to birth that Burritto out your butt you ate a few hours from before. So then you have to ask the sweet Asian gal who pretends to like you if you may use the restroom and it's awkward as hell.

Just asking for a friend Originally Posted by Built To Spill

I've never had to take a poop but I've had to fart lol

Its part of life I wouldn't care just make sure you don't have any dingle berries or petter cotton tail trails