Popular Misconceptions About Providers

My (previous) major misconception - Providers are providers first, then whatever. In reality, I suspect that when it comes to provider's priorities hobbying is fairly low on the list compared to family, children, RL jobs, school, etc. For most men our work defines us, and unfortunately gets way too much importance when it comes to time management decisions. We see others as we see ourselves. (Oh, and thank you for that last bit - I always look so much better, when I'm looking at you)

My chihuahuas are the top of my list, but that probably explains why I like you horndogs so much, too.

How sad. I don't know how much of that is true, but I suspect quite a bit.

Being an older lady when I started (age 47) might have been a good thing socially; I had an active life with lots of people in it before, and still do. A few of them know my current profession, and shock long ago gave way to fascination since I am so far from the stereotype. Probably helps that I have liberal arts and theatrical connections, as those minds are more open to alternate lifestyles. I do occasionally get the incredulous, "I can't believe you actually make enough money to live on from this full time!" I invest the best of myself in everything I do, so why wouldn't I expect a decent return? Those who can't handle the truth just get a different version of my reality.

I don't think I'm much competition to most ladies on here, and that statement has nothing to do with my self esteem. I just chose from the beginning to attract a different clientele for the most part, and not everything I do is confined to a few short hours in the bedroom. Some gentlemen desire physical (and not even necessarily sexual) AND emotional connections, so contact doesn't end when they leave my presence, and many times I spend most of a date fully clothed, just enjoying mutual companionship. I don't get weirded out if gentlemen treat me nicely; I kind of expect it because most people will reciprocate in kind with the way they are treated. Of course I like to be spoiled (perfect choice of career for that), but I'm always very appreciative. I don't take advantage of kind gentlemen; there are fellows on here who have offered much when they knew things were a bit difficult for me, but I never accepted. My Irish pride would slap me sideways. It would never occur to me to treat gentlemen as doormats, or gossip and say unkind or untrue things about other providers. I have too much respect for others, and having been treated badly (as everyone has at some point), I remember how that stung, so why would I want to hurt another person similarly? Spite? What a waste of time and energy. I'm obviously intelligent enough to get a "real job," as are most of the ladies on ECCIE, I think, if they wanted to put forth that effort. But most of us like being fully in charge of our jobs and schedules, not because of laziness, but because we work better without Big Brother Bosses looking over our shoulders.

I see good in everyone (which can be a flaw, I realize, if not balanced with caution), and the physical traits of attractiveness never much mattered in the first place to me, so the only things that really "gross me out" and turn me off now are bad hygiene, disrespect, and lack of dependability, aka NSNC.

Perhaps it has something to do with my being a Libra and a lucky Irish lassie; things in my life are pretty balanced. However, wouldn't bother me to have trouble balancing my checkbook because I was dealing with lots of large numbers. Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

You always write such wonderful things! Oh, and I'm a Libra, too!

With the idea of being no competition to others, I've always considered that as being the truth with regard to me. But there will be others that will always consider you competition. I was actually shocked when I learned that so long ago.

It's strange, isn't it?

Very good post Outdoorsman. I've been curious about this myself. I'm sure most providers live a very secluded life. Most of there real friends probably are in the hobby in one form or another. Too many judgemental people out there to share and open book life. I'm sure it has to eat at the soul of a person to hide the fact of what they do from their family.

Very good post Outdoorsman. I've been curious about this myself. I'm sure most providers live a very secluded life. Most of there real friends probably are in the hobby in one form or another. Too many judgemental people out there to share and open book life. I'm sure it has to eat at the soul of a person to hide the fact of what they do from their family. Originally Posted by rrabbit6926

It's the other way around for me. I have one real friend in the hobby and the rest are in my personal life. It's very hard to trust people in the hobby --- and for good reason.

I agree Zarah but in my experieince once I find a TRUE friend in the hobby, there is not a friend I can trust more, albeit difficult to find, just knida happened to me. The friend knows I hobby, knows I pay for sex, knows I see multiple women and does not judge me for it. I have plenty of friends outside the Hobby, do they know I hobby, nope.

Every provider I have known that explains why she provides, tells that "She enjoys it" Yes, the ladies enjoy some limited sessions but really it is work for them. I have learned that the providers I have befriended cosely do not enjoy seeing 10 different men in a given week. They enjoy the cash! There is a level of shame when we engage in this Hobby, both for men and women, that simple. We make up BS excuses to help console ourselves, but it is all lies to ourself. "MY SO does not do CIM, so I hobby." or "How else do I pay my bills?" or "I like beautiful women, so why not?" or "God would not have given me this body if I were not to make money with it."

All BS we tell ourselves, me included. But this is a selfish hobby, I want great sex, that civilian ladies just will not do consistently. She wants a BMW and not a Tercel. Very selfish.

Providers are human, but must act when with us, she has no idea which one of us will write a review. I am not special to her at all.

Most providers I know have children, do the school thing, but have very few real friends. Even amongst the ladies they must always be on guard. Ladies will sabotage each other for my money. Men lie to them about everything!!! So, a provider in my expereince with some time in the job is very cautious when I just do something nice, wondering what I want out of her? Nothing, I do nice things for others with no expectations, that simple. Then providers tend to think they can take advantage of me, lol. Always trying to get more for less, just like any other salesman. No balance IMHO.

My experience tells me Providing is a very lonely business, and when a guy helps she tends to think he is doornmat or sucker. Which to me indicates low self esteem on the providers part (why does this guy want to help me? He only likes my looks, not my brain or soul. I am not smart enough to get a good paying job, etc). Makes sense to me, she has a job she cannot talk about openly, usually hides from her mother and kids, and she meets with some really gross men that turn her off completely.

Me I do not know if I could have sex with 65 year old 250 pound women on a consistent basis and make it fun for her. It is a real job, my hats off to you ladies. Originally Posted by Outdoorsman

This is one of the most outstanding posts I have ever read.

I have no friends, either in or outside the hobby.

That we are seedy, drug addicts, and idiots..

Seems many think this way of a hooker when I know of more good ladies than seedy.. Talking from a society stand point..




I am not ashamed or need to console my self with reasons to make me "ok" with it.. I know exactly what it is, no delusions.



Thanks for this post- as much as its "sex and pleasurable" it is real work..

Me I do not know if I could have sex with 65 year old 250 pound women on a consistent basis and make it fun for her. It is a real job, my hats off to you ladies.

I always wanted a guy who claims this isnt a job/real work.. I wonder how much pleasure he would get out of it seeing/sexing someone that turns you off in your real life.. After many 250lb musty sweaty smelling.. even with a shower.. being overweight..well it comes with the territory. how much fun do you think it is? Or being on top of you dripping sweat drops all over your face and neck, can barley breath.. this happens with overweight people.. Not trying to offend here..It is work when you give something to someone that does not turn you on, may even grosses you out.. but you own it, act like hes the only one, and give stellar service..

This is one of the most outstanding posts I have ever read.

I have no friends, either in or outside the hobby. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

I do have to admit that the only person that truelly knows me is my ATF. I have nothing to hide from her and she the same. Not true with other people close in my life. I usually have this guard up but for the 1st time I found someone that I can totally be honest with.

I just thought of another popular misconception. There are guys that think just because the click their fingers that a lady should dig money out of her own pocket and tour their city.

There are a lot of ladies that travel and my hat goes out to them but not all ladies travel or have any interest in making an expensive trip in hopes that she will make a profit.

Touring or traveling is not for everyone.

It irritates the hell out of me when I answer the phone or email just to hear, " When are you traveling over to me?" Throw me about $4000 and I will travel where ever you want. LOL!

This is an awesome thread..and i agree with much that was said. Especially that were not robots and we do have normal lives..So true..So true..

In addition many hobbiest believe that a provider will do naything for the right amount. Some of us are really in this because we enjoy it. Surprise surprise

Other misconceptions about providers are there drug addicts, have a pimp, so they use tricking to support there habit or pimp.

It is now 5:30 AM. I just got back from being outside and freezing my ass off. Why was I outside? My 3 dogs needed to go the restroom. LOL!

Nope, I am not just getting in from a party. LOL! Originally Posted by mikkifine

Did all three have to go at the same time? what if you somehow found out that they don't like you watching them, lol. Ya know one night you get pretty drunk and the oldest dog comes up to ya and Says " Ah Miki look, the next time were out pinching a loaf how about just looking the other way alright. There is some modesty here ya know, lol.

But in a way it is good that some believe that providers are drug addicts are party animals. That way someone like myself that leads a boring life can live in peace.

Other misconceptions about providers are there drug addicts, have a pimp, so they use tricking to support there habit or pimp. Originally Posted by shorty

Did all three have to go at the same time? what if you somehow found out that they don't like you watching them, lol. Ya know one night you get pretty drunk and the oldest dog comes up to ya and Says " Ah Miki look, the next time were out pinching a loaf how about just looking the other way alright. There is some modesty here ya know, lol. Originally Posted by acp5762