so how would one handle a no connnection apt?

thebuffmantraples's Avatar
God! Talk about stepping in front of it!

My 2cts measly too!

I am a big proponent of giving the customer the benefit of the doubt period( in my line of business). Does that sometimes leave you out there for the smart asses to try and abuse it? Maybe in RL business, YES. In the Hobby, NO.
I think that would be best policy here! If the personal safety/security parts had long ago been over come.
So, full refund I would have and sure enough then thread it around to drum up that part of my skills department too.

Lots of luck.
It depends. There are varying layers of the complication. For instance if it is simply a personality conflict verses a physical connection. Or vice versa.

If I find the gentleman domineering, demanding or makes me feel uncomfortable on a personality level I tend to refund the full donation the moment I realize this. (usually this happens long before we slip between the sheets.) I politely state "I appreciate the invitation to meet you, However I do not feel we will enjoy our time as much as, I am sure, we both hoped." Based on his personality conflicts with mine I may make a few recommendations of other ladies he might like to see instead. I try to convey honestly, openly express my discomforts and try to avoid hurting his feelings. Just because he makes me uncomfortable does not mean he is a bad person.

If the conflicts extend to a more intimate level I try to guide or help him in that department. If he is resistant to learning my body and/or resistant to expressing what he would like, then I wait until after our date and should he attempt to reschedule a new date later, I politely decline again I will offer up some recommendations.

Neither of these happen often. More often I discover the lack of connection before we set the date. During our pre-communications and emails. I have had at most four dates last year that fell into the above two categories. I have had at least 15 that I caught before we set the date to meet.

I have never had a gentleman sever the appointment in person. hypothetically if this was to happen due to lack of connection I would react differently depending on how far into our date we had gotten and how he handled the situation. Best case scenario, I would return his full donation and offer my regrets. I may inquire about details, such as if it was something I had done or said. Worse case scenario is the client is simply attempting to "scam" me. Which does occur sadly. I would still likely return the full donation however I would also put something about him in the infoshare section.
  • cog
  • 01-25-2015, 10:26 AM
Well I like your honesty!
skbinks's Avatar
Hypothetical question. I'm using BDSM as an example. Some providers list BDSM along with other things. Maybe there is one that I really would like to meet but I am not into BDSM. Some of her reviews don't mention anything about it. I can't ask her in an email, phone or text if she can also be (not sure if this is the right wording) the girl next door type too.

Since I am also a newbie, my understanding is that if I asked a question like that in a PM, I would probably get ignored. Since I can't ask her ahead of time and we meet and I find that her place is filled with BDSM stuff, that might be a turn off to me and I might not want to stay. I agree that I should pay her for her time whether it be a partial or full payment. Basically how can someone avoid that situation and loss of money without scaring off the provider all together by asking her outright? Personally, I wouldn't blame her in this situation. You never know, there might be a time in the future that I DO want to experiment with it.
Mr skbinks,

This thread was started because OLindsay wanted input on a decision and a policy.

If you have a suggestion for her, post it. If not, take your question to the Coed Discussion forum.

Once again, you are getting very close to hijacking another thread.
I think the reason girls are not likely to have the stoppage from a guy is because if there is not a connection found by the guy it typically becomes a get off and get out situation. There have been a few situations where there has not been a connection with me. I have ended each of those sessions early in one way or another. I have never asked for a refund and have declined the offer for a partial refund.
I won't waste anybody's time, if I am having an off day, I will not work. I generally know if I connect with a guy before our session, not 30 minutes into the session. Truthfully, I look to see that we are a match during my screening process. And I am definitely NOT giving back portions of my honorarium for any reason. In fact, I won't even offer that. Lol. That totally contradicts the whole our time is money saying...
KCQuestor's Avatar
I won't waste anybody's time, if I am having an off day, I will not work. I generally know if I connect with a guy before our session, not 30 minutes into the session. Truthfully, I look to see that we are a match during my screening process. And I am definitely NOT giving back portions of my honorarium for any reason. In fact, I won't even offer that. Lol. That totally contradicts the whole our time is money saying... Originally Posted by Gemma34
I respect your decision to run your business your way, and I appreciate your skill in being able to recognize when the match won't occur. However I am confused by your last statement.

If something should happen that caused YOU to want to cancel the session halfway through, doesn't that suggest that the guy should only pay for the TIME he received? I would think that keeping it all would be an indication that payment is for services and not time. If payment were for time, he'd just pay for the time. (Note: this is only for some rare, mythical session where YOU chose to cancel halfway through).
I knew someone was going to ask that. lol! The beginning of my post somewhat answers your question kc questor. I have never EVER canceled a session after it's began. Even those that probably weren't as enjoyable as I had hoped them to be. And the client schedules the amount of time he desires. I will not return money because a guy changes his mind or wants to leave after only 30 minutes. I'm a professional and I have everything in order before I meet anybody. No bait n switch, I'm not uaf, kids are taken care of and no accidental periods at weird time excuses or anything stupid like that. There is one definitive method for me ever shutting down a session early and that is for my health and safety. And, I don't think I would give 2shits about the donation at that time, honestly. I won't cx even if a gentleman just smells like he got off of work, that's why I offer amenities.

I think walk-outs during dates happen for other reasons, not because of a lack of connection.. But, that's just me!
I have never EVER canceled a session after it's began. Even those that probably weren't as enjoyable as I had hoped them to be. Originally Posted by Gemma34
There's hope for me with Gemma yet...!!!!!!
As long as the guy is clean and relatively sober I don't see why a girl would shoe a guy away because of no connection. At least give the guy a BJ or HJ in that 30 minutes and call it good.
JRLawrence's Avatar
Stupid question from a newbie. Do you mean where one is a no show or where they just don't feel it and go their own ways?

I have had a few no shows but I am new so something might have spooked them about me and I understand that in this business. ........ Originally Posted by skbinks
Guy at the bar:
Bartender, what's with that guy sitting in the corner with those five ladies. What makes him so popular with the woman.
Bartender:
Do you mean the guy licking his eyelids with his tongue?

Do you think a long tongue is attractive to women?

JR
skbinks's Avatar
Do you think a long tongue is attractive to women? Originally Posted by JRLawrence
No. Sorry if it offended you. I have removed it. I've been told and seen that this isn't a newbie friendly board and is mainly used to argue and fight with no humor. Not talking about you JR, just in general , unless I was on here from closer to the beginning of this board. I will stop posting as much or at all. I probably won't have to worry about that since this comment is off topic so I will probably get banned.

To everybody, I'm sorry if I have offended anybody. And for anyone who thinks I am someone else, ask the people I have reviewed.
so heres a question for everyone.. if you were givin a bj for 30 minutes and there is no kind of reaction from jr and he doesnt make a sound nor seem a bit interested should that 30 minutes of time been compensated for what was done.. it could have been an off day for one of them or maybe he has something wrong with him and he chose not to tell you because really its not your business unless he wanted to share it with you, how would you handle that? lay there and be mechanical even with him showing 0 interest?

im curious to see more feedback because this has been pretty interesting with all different kinds of anwsers.
so heres a question for everyone.. if you were givin a bj for 30 minutes and there is no kind of reaction from jr and he doesnt make a sound nor seem a bit interested should that 30 minutes of time been compensated for what was done.. it could have been an off day for one of them or maybe he has something wrong with him and he chose not to tell you because really its not your business unless he wanted to share it with you, how would you handle that? lay there and be mechanical even with him showing 0 interest?

im curious to see more feedback because this has been pretty interesting with all different kinds of anwsers. Originally Posted by OLindsay
Reminds me of a joke... A seaman visits a brothel while at port. After a while he asks "how am I doing?" The provider replies "3 knots...you're knot hard, knot in, and knot getting your money back."

I think "no connection" is a bad description. I'm not necessarily paying for a "connection"; other than I hope it's a fun time. Now if there are health issues at play to where "it" isn't working, I see know reason to cut it short and just charge a 30 minute rate.