Tell me something about yourself.

if i may do a quick dd impression:
one of them thar doodads is your winky dink Originally Posted by endurance

"thats why we are here... to spit our drinks all over our monitors!!!!!



great job!!!!

I'm an original member of the Blue Man Group. That's me in the middle.

It's true, just like black people, they say we all look the same.

I grew up on a farm with seven brothers & sisters in small town Texas.....I luv rodeos........I know how to milk a cow...I HATE frogs more than anything in this world......I luv Blue Bell rocky road.......I am double jointed in both thumbs and cannot snap my fingers due to this.......I used to be a ministers wife........I love "fat" men.......I luv ACDC {duhhhhhh}.........I luv skulls.......and I really love shopping {a gal can never have too many heels or purses} Originally Posted by DallasRain

I used to be a minister. We should get together and compare notes while fornicating.

I used to be a minister. We should get together and compare notes while fornicating. Originally Posted by Risn2TheOccasion

lol yep that might be a helluva wild time!!

I also can talk dirty in Pig Latin!

lol yep that might be a helluva wild time!!

I also can talk dirty in Pig Latin! Originally Posted by DallasRain

I may have to come see you just for the pig latin dirty talk, sounds like a riot

(staff edit; image violation; ztonk)

[Verse 1]
We can talk for hours
And the line is still engaged
We're not getting any closer
You're too many miles away

[Chorus]
And I might as well be talking backwards
Am I making any sense to you
And the only thing that really matters
Is the one thing I can't seem to do

[Verse 2]
When the night was over
And the field was lit up bright
And I walked home with you
Nothing I said came out right

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
And I might as well be talking backwards
Am I making any sense to you
And the only thing that really matters
Is the one thing I can't seem to
Make sense of this dream
It's the one thing I can't seem to do

I'm made of stars. Originally Posted by BiancaBonVivant

Every time I see her showcase.....I fall in lust!!!!!! Then I kick myself for not contacting her.

Sifu

I'm an original member of the Blue Man Group. That's me in the middle.

It's true, just like black people, they say we all look the same.

Originally Posted by RandB fan

We've Met!!

I know this is going to sound like the most random thing ever, and that's ok...

About 10 years ago or so I was in Vegas on a vacation. I had the opportunity to mingle with 2 members of the 3 man BMG troupe at that time-still in character...the dude in the middle "autographed" my program for me & they gave me some BMG drumsticks...{{{we have a connection through percussion interests}}}.

I don't recall his name, it was maybe a 2 minute meeting...but I framed the ticket/"signed" program/and the drumsticks. It hangs in my living room today. Check out the autograph (see below).

Blue sticks, I will triad them for the ones I got on Saturn in 5021! Solid criptonite!

IB

It's certainly is an honor to have them displayed in such a grand fashion.

I am sorry I do not remember you as, I normally would not say this, but I give away a set or more realistic: 20 or more, as do all the Blue guys do, after every show in 4 cities and around the globe. We have given away thousands! I am glad that such a simple thing has brought you such great pleasure. I hope you did not spend more than $37,50 on the framing as if (why bother?) you were to ever try to sell the set, you would probably lose money. Hey What do I know? I'm just a guy who dips himself in Plasti Dip and plays air drums to a light show from a college town in Bumfuck Kansas.



You see we give the sticks away sometimes I give away away up to 20 sets a night just in the hope that someone, not one of those cheap bastards like you,will go to the gift shop and buy one of these that we are able to sell for 5X what they cost:



or at least one of these




We sell these for $35.00 but for you, we will raise the price to $37.50

Now that I know you hang around at our show in hope of getting a piece or two of swag, I'd like to offer you an opportunity to become part of our team.
The position I have in mind for you is as follows:

SEASONAL/PART TIME CLEANING CREW

The Part-Time Cleaning Crew sub’s primary responsibilities will be: Shifts at the new Austin heater will include general maintenance responsibilities such as rubbish removal, vacuuming, sweeping, cleaning fixtures and other ad hoc duties as necessary.

Show Run Duties include performing preset, turnover & post show duties in a safe, professional & timely manner.

Applicants should have a fairly flexible schedule and be willing to communicate with the Cleaning Crew Supervisor about weekly and monthly scheduling of the shows.


Hopefully a career change will allow you to have the expendable income to invest in some of our retail merchandise. Yes you receive a sizable discount on BMG goods.

Good luck

I guess it would be a great pick up line with the civies. "Do you want to go to my place for a drink, I'll show you my Blue Man sticks?"

When it comes to getting laid,you wouldn't want to be me. I have a lot of explaining to do as when I pull my Blue Man dick out the girls just blush and giggle. I tell em it's nothing to worry about as it won't come (off) in their mouths. I am constantly being asked if I shoot multi- colored cum or if a light show starts when I am about to blow my wad. Oh yeah, Plasti Dip doubles as a condom~~ Try it sometime you won't feel a thing.







As long as it makes you happy, that's what really counts, It doesn't make any difference if I get a rash after each show and that I am just one set of cymbals away from getting my Cessna Citation like the other guys ... Have you ever spent any money of our shit or do you only show off the free shit we give away? You can buy it online you know, here's the link
http://www.bluemangoods.com

Have a merry Christmas and I hope that hoggar brought milk cause I am sure your too cheap too provide it.

P.S. Matt, Phil, and I have not preformed in Vegas during the last 13 years so you must have the autograph of one of the over 40 Blue Men. So much for that framing investment!!! I hope the pick up line works now that you know you were bamboozled like thousands of others, let me know how that works for you in the future?

We've Met!!

I know this is going to sound like the most random thing ever, and that's ok...

About 10 years ago or so I was in Vegas on a vacation. I had the opportunity to mingle with 2 members of the 3 man BMG troupe at that time-still in character...the dude in the middle "autographed" my program for me & they gave me some BMG drumsticks...{{{we have a connection through percussion interests}}}.

I don't recall his name, it was maybe a 2 minute meeting...but I framed the ticket/"signed" program/and the drumsticks. It hangs in my living room today. Check out the autograph (see below).

Originally Posted by Toyz

It would seem to me the bigger problem would be cleaning all that blue shit off your tiny dick every night! It smelled like teen spirit, honestly!

The framing was not done as an investment, more as a memory of a fun time...I've got some wine I collect the same way...worth much more than when I bought it, but have no intention of selling it 'cause I just like owning it. But I must say, You blue greasy fuckers do some funny shit! I thoroughly enjoyed the entertainment and the free goodies! Why should I pay for anything if its given to me? I never understood that concept...its like paying too much for a hoogar...why?

And are there benefits with the part time job? I need some back stage passes for a few Vegas shows, so if you can toss those in as a part of the job tender offer I'll consider it. But hurry up and decide cause I have a pending offer from Merry Maids that's soon to be off the table. And lord knows I need a third income. Shaylas way behind on her pimp payments & WhixxZy can't seem to shake her down and get my fuckin' money.

Every time I see her showcase.....I fall in lust!!!!!! Then I kick myself for not contacting her.

Sifu Originally Posted by sifupsi

The button is right there, big guy!

Since this is all fiction , why not have fun with it? No, you just look twice your age and I doubt your "friends" refer to you as "friend" Originally Posted by RandB fan

you seem like the boy who is mean to the girl he secretly likes...

It would seem to me the bigger problem would be cleaning all that blue shit off your tiny dick every night! It smelled like teen spirit, honestly!
[COLOR="Purple"]ToyZ, for once you really made me scratch my head No, not that head, and try to reach for the hidden meaning in this last comment, I got the little dick part, as you say that or something worse about Whispies on a daily basis. You have never made a comment on the mass of my manhood but here you are stating that it "smelled like teen spirit" and that threw me a curve and frankly kinda creped me out.

I would remember you if you had your nose close enough to smell my manhood, tiny or not, Back in the day when female fan's got that close I gave them a lot more swag than a pair of drumsticks. I assure you, if it had a tint dick, it must have been one of our early clones, We had this one Blue Man, who was a chick, who had a clit that the guys were envious of.

Around that time frame the Blue Man Groupies were constantly complaining that the new guys were pencil dicks and even file a grievance requesting bigger dicks for performers. They made their case and the new hires are hung like horses, still gender challenged but hung.

It's tough job and there is a lot of preparation that occurs before taking a dive into the "dip". Why do you think we started cloning ourselves? We were whores who wanted to be pimps. WE started hiring the unemployable actors and musicians and started training them to look and preform like Popa Smurf on __________. In the process we would get rich making people pay outrageous amounts to watch some losers act like us while we sit back and count the cash. It was like prostitution only better.
It is a cruel world as a Blue Man realizing they have no real identity, they can't make demands for a safer work place or better pay becsause the Daddy Blue Man can just replace them with someone else who, is younger, better looking, and cheaper. Ones that are eager to drink the cool aid and are eager to jump into the blue goo and put on the same popa smurf act as you did.
They have no choice but to rethink their place in life, Many Blue Men will return to Backpage looking for the low hanging fruit, others will get assistance and move on with their lives as productive members of society, while others will go to Blue Man websites, post constantly that they are a celebrity but when you search the web you get a housewife in NJ's Facebook page as the #1 hit on GOOGLE. They will post disgusting pictures of the things they will do for money and coin phrases that make sure you know how desperate they are.
It's a hard life as a Blue Man. Just knowing going in they are so expendable that even Bob Barker suggests, Blue Men be neutered to control the population. The rationality of knowing you have hundreds of thousands of fan's all over the world who have seen you preform, giving it your best performance, sometimes multiple times a day. Coming to grips that nobody knows your name except for the clerk in the payroll dept. must be devastating. The mental health issues, the physical wear and tear wears a person down, but we, the people who buy the seats , keep going back to see the new, fresh shows and talents without ever thinking about the cast off and where they are and the shortcomings they are trying to overcome, nor do we care.

I went back and looked at Nirvana's lyrics, maybe the second verse, but no. I don't think that is what you are referencing.

With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us.

I watched the movie Pan and rewound the scene where they preform the song from the 90's and still nothing. I was starting to think you were just fucking with me, taking advantage of my mild OCD tendencies, as I was on the memorabilia. I labored on searching for an answer... Some say the song has dark undertones but since it was written in 5 minutes, I just kind of find it a little bit hard to believe that the song has a lot to say about something. You need syllables to fill up this space or you need something that rhymes. More to come on this later.




Now, back to what you meant by "Smelled like fresh spirit" I found a movie that stared Cassie Scerbo (Sharknado 3) called "Teen Spirit" but after watching an hour I gave up on it having any relevance other than that she is fucking hot!!!!


Then I found some interesting facts that gave me a clue. Kathleen Hanna of "The Julia Ruin" was a close friend of Colbain's and was responsible for the naming of the song. She painted "Kurt Smells Like Teen Spirit" on the wall of his house and needing a name for this song that took 5 minutes to write and the rest was history.

Now here is where I must admit that ToyZ had one up on me as i was Ignorant to the fact that this is the real reason for the name of the song.

Wait for it.....



You see, Kurt Corbain's Girlfriend, Tobi Vail (above), and Kathleen Hanna were close friends and fellow band members in "Bikini Kill" and Tobi wore a deodorant ... not so quick,,, that boasted: "All day extra effective protection" and a "long lasting fragrance" I guess the stuff was so strong it was like standing downwind of a perfume tester display at Wal-mart. It could knock a bloodhound off a scent from 50 feet away! The product was the reason P+G bought Mennen as more teen age girls wore this product than any other. As the songs popularity faded so did sales and even though it is still sold today it has gone from 10 scents to only two.






So ToyZ, I still have no way of understanding what the phrase "smells like teen fresh" is supposed to mean when referring to my Blue Man Group prick.

Could it be that you found something in the lyrics to refer to my dick. Was it the rebellious nature that some say KC was referring to in his alternative metal pop song?

Was it a forgotten movie about going to heaven?

You can tell me, did you have some weird feeling at some time in your life and start dressing up in your sisters clothes when she went off to college?

What was your favorite scent and why does my groin remind you of a contained of deodorant?

Hopefully we had some fun here and no body gets their panties in a wad. There are a few here that have such thin skin they think that every comment is made about them.

P.S. Toy's I RTM'ed you because it was rude to say my dick smelled when you have presented no evidence to support your claim. LOL

P.S. You know I collect wine as you do and there were some serious conversations between me and the ex's lawyers (yes, LawyerS) when it came down to retaining things that bring me joy in life. Next time I'm at the theater, I'll grab you a cymbal and have it signed by all 40 of the Blue guys and the gal, I'd like to see what expanding that frame would cost ya!!!

I have a green ham on the smoker, the neighbors have been over asking what smells so good, so expect pictures sometime late today. It should come off about the time it gets dark. After that lunch yesterday I hope this comes out to be as stellar of a gastronomical experience. What wine would you suggest with the green ham (injected and hand rubbed, smoked runny black beens w/ sweet onions and pepper bacon, and tossed fresh picked greens with a white balsamic vinaigrette?










[/COLOR]

The framing was not done as an investment, more as a memory of a fun time...I've got some wine I collect the same way...worth much more than when I bought it, but have no intention of selling it 'cause I just like owning it. But I must say, You blue greasy fuckers do some funny shit! I thoroughly enjoyed the entertainment and the free goodies! Why should I pay for anything if its given to me? I never understood that concept...its like paying too much for a hoogar...why? I was just being a good capitalist, put down your weapons (I am the crab LOL)

And are there benefits with the part time job? I need some back stage passes for a few Vegas shows, so if you can toss those in as a part of the job tender offer I'll consider it. But hurry up and decide cause I have a pending offer from Merry Maids that's soon to be off the table. (At merry maids you probably have a better chance of getting some benefits and the only thing we have to offer you here doesn't swing both ways.) And lord knows I need a third income. Shaylas way behind on her pimp payments & WhixxZy can't seem to shake her down and get my fuckin' money How is a monger supposed to pay for carbon fiber overlays, drilled and slotted color coordinated rotors and ceramic pads when these bitches take care of business like they do. I here there are a couple of agent's out there taking advantage of recent activities, maybe you can get one of them to help the cash flow problems. Originally Posted by Toyz

kitydda

Sorry Mods, it was a think back, like a backwards movie. It's good though that the spice mod has nothing else going on.

No PG13 shit from here out,

Phil Mccrotch