Best/worst ideas for improvement of hobbying

Here's an example of a review you would get if you allowed providers to give them. After a couple of these I guarantee they would stop allowing them. Date: sometime last month I think, doing my best to forget
Hobbiest: Jakov (Russian dude)
Email Address: russianthrustmaster@yahoo.com
City: Baldknob
State: Arkansas
Address: - somewhere between pergatory Rd and Haties Ave.
Appointment Type: Outcall
Did the Appointment take place at the agreed-upon time?: again trying to forget
Activities: fthj(finger and thumb), bbbj, rcg, doggie.
Session Length: 1 hr
Fee: $$$
Appointment Type: Outcall
Smoking Status: Smoker
Ethnic Background: White/Caucasian Hair Color: Unknown, (bald) geeussing used to be black because the rest of his body was covered in a thick coat of black hair. Looked like a 70's shag carpet
Age: 50ish
Smoking Status: Smoker
Ethnic Background: White/Caucasian
Physical Description: About 5' 6" tall, about "c" cup man boobs, bald, bbm with a daddies belly. Bad breathe would be a conservative description of what he exhaled.
ROS: I went against my better judgement and set up a date with Jakov without references (never, ever again, ever). So i show up at his private residence at the scheduled time and get invited in. Right from the start he seems to be breathing heavy and has a little dried spittle in the corner of his mouth. This should have sent up warning signals for me to fake the emergency phone call and get the hell out but rents due and it's been a slow month so I decided to try and make the best of it. After some light convo it was time to get down to business so I ask him what he likes to do. He responded with "first thing is I want you to disrobe me". Yes, I shit you not, he said "disrobe me". So, the professional i am, i got busy " disrobing" him. Good god, i still wake up in cold sweats reliving this horrific expierience. As I begin unbuttoning his size 4xl button down white shirt he leans in and gives me a kiss on the lips. He slips his tounge in for a lfk and that's when I get a good nose and mouth full of his breathe. The only thing I can compare it to is a cross between a cess pool and the dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant. Again, im a professional so i swallowed the little bit of throw up I had in my mouth, smiled and finished unbuttoning his shirt, dropping it to the floor. Underneath his shirt was a wife beater t shirt with hair poking out everywhere. This is when I suddenly zoned out and visualized firing up a weed whacker and going to town and then just as suddenly snapped back into reality, telling myself in my head over and over again "you're a professional girl, you can do this". Next I peel off his t shirt, and when I say peel, I mean like peeling an onion because it almost brought tears to my eyes. On down to the pants I go and unbuckle his belt. I almost had to put a foot up to his waist for leverage to release the tension but I finally managed because by God, IM A PROFESSIONAL. Unbuttoned the pants, unzipped the fly and to the floor they went. Grabbing ahold of his underwear on each side of the elastic band I yank them down too, they fall to the floor and I follow them down to my knees. This moment reminds me of an old joke I heard; A man is walking a tightrope between two 90 story buildings on one side of the world and another man is getting a bbbj from a toothless 90 year woman on the other side of the world. They're both repeating the same thing over and over again in their heads,.....DON'T LOOK DOWN. Well you guessed it, I looked down. This wooly mammoth of a dude is standing there with this ginormous pair of grandpa's tighty whiteys at his ankles and right down the middle is a skid mark as big as Dallas. The only thing that saved me at this point was an old technic I learned where you visualize happy thoughts like rainbows and unicorns and Bradd Pitts ass. This scraped away the picture of what I just saw temporally from mind allowing me to carry on. I reach over, combing through a forest of pubic hair and grab ahold of his cock. It wasn't a micro penis but what ever the next level above that is was the size of this thing. I start working it pretty good with one finger and my thumb and he starts grunting and honking like a duck in heat and I'm praying this won't take long. At this point he grabs me by the back of the head and pushes his cock in my mouth. So I start deep mouthing it because it ain't reaching anywhere near my throat. He really starts grunting, honking and yelling "I'm almost there". He thinks I'm groaning like a porn star but I'm actually mumbling to myself, please let this be over, repeatedly. Unfortunately, the next thing he says is I'm ready for the cover. So on goes the cover and I bend over the couch for some doggie because I didn't think I would survive another full frontal dose of that breathe. He pounded away for awhile, pausing every minute or so to catch his breathe and then requested some mish. At that point I drew on every hooker acting ability I possessed and told him " oh baby, I love me some rcg, it really gets me wet" and thank you little baby Jesus he bought it. I hopped on and rode it like I never rode it before and very shortly later he grunted and honked one last time and filled the cover. I got up, told him times up, slapped him on his fat ass and out the door I went vowing never to show my face in Baldknob, AR ever again. Recommend: not no, but HELL NO. If you see this dude coming ,run like the dogs of hell are chasing you, because he may not be one of the dogs of hell, but he's most definitely related to one.

Here's an example of a review you would get if you allowed providers to give them. After a couple of these I guarantee they would stop allowing them. Date: sometime last month I think, doing my best to forget
Hobbiest: Jakov (Russian dude)
Email Address: russianthrustmaster@yahoo.com
City: Baldknob
State: Arkansas
Address: - somewhere between pergatory Rd and Haties Ave.
Appointment Type: Outcall
Did the Appointment take place at the agreed-upon time?: again trying to forget
Activities: fthj(finger and thumb), bbbj, rcg, doggie.
Session Length: 1 hr
Fee: $$$
Appointment Type: Outcall
Smoking Status: Smoker
Ethnic Background: White/Caucasian Hair Color: Unknown, (bald) geeussing used to be black because the rest of his body was covered in a thick coat of black hair. Looked like a 70's shag carpet
Age: 50ish
Smoking Status: Smoker
Ethnic Background: White/Caucasian
Physical Description: About 5' 6" tall, about "c" cup man boobs, bald, bbm with a daddies belly. Bad breathe would be a conservative description of what he exhaled.
ROS: I went against my better judgement and set up a date with Jakov without references (never, ever again, ever). So i show up at his private residence at the scheduled time and get invited in. Right from the start he seems to be breathing heavy and has a little dried spittle in the corner of his mouth. This should have sent up warning signals for me to fake the emergency phone call and get the hell out but rents due and it's been a slow month so I decided to try and make the best of it. After some light convo it was time to get down to business so I ask him what he likes to do. He responded with "first thing is I want you to disrobe me". Yes, I shit you not, he said "disrobe me". So, the professional i am, i got busy " disrobing" him. Good god, i still wake up in cold sweats reliving this horrific expierience. As I begin unbuttoning his size 4xl button down white shirt he leans in and gives me a kiss on the lips. He slips his tounge in for a lfk and that's when I get a good nose and mouth full of his breathe. The only thing I can compare it to is a cross between a cess pool and the dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant. Again, im a professional so i swallowed the little bit of throw up I had in my mouth, smiled and finished unbuttoning his shirt, dropping it to the floor. Underneath his shirt was a wife beater t shirt with hair poking out everywhere. This is when I suddenly zoned out and visualized firing up a weed whacker and going to town and then just as suddenly snapped back into reality, telling myself in my head over and over again "you're a professional girl, you can do this". Next I peel off his t shirt, and when I say peel, I mean like peeling an onion because it almost brought tears to my eyes. On down to the pants I go and unbuckle his belt. I almost had to put a foot up to his waist for leverage to release the tension but I finally managed because by God, IM A PROFESSIONAL. Unbuttoned the pants, unzipped the fly and to the floor they went. Grabbing ahold of his underwear on each side of the elastic band I yank them down too, they fall to the floor and I follow them down to my knees. This moment reminds me of an old joke I heard; A man is walking a tightrope between two 90 story buildings on one side of the world and another man is getting a bbbj from a toothless 90 year woman on the other side of the world. They're both repeating the same thing over and over again in their heads,.....DON'T LOOK DOWN. Well you guessed it, I looked down. This wooly mammoth of a dude is standing there with this ginormous pair of grandpa's tighty whiteys at his ankles and right down the middle is a skid mark as big as Dallas. The only thing that saved me at this point was an old technic I learned where you visualize happy thoughts like rainbows and unicorns and Bradd Pitts ass. This scraped away the picture of what I just saw temporally from mind allowing me to carry on. I reach over, combing through a forest of pubic hair and grab ahold of his cock. It wasn't a micro penis but what ever the next level above that is was the size of this thing. I start working it pretty good with one finger and my thumb and he starts grunting and honking like a duck in heat and I'm praying this won't take long. At this point he grabs me by the back of the head and pushes his cock in my mouth. So I start deep mouthing it because it ain't reaching anywhere near my throat. He really starts grunting, honking and yelling "I'm almost there". He thinks I'm groaning like a porn star but I'm actually mumbling to myself, please let this be over, repeatedly. Unfortunately, the next thing he says is I'm ready for the cover. So on goes the cover and I bend over the couch for some doggie because I didn't think I would survive another full frontal dose of that breathe. He pounded away for awhile, pausing every minute or so to catch his breathe and then requested some mish. At that point I drew on every hooker acting ability I possessed and told him " oh baby, I love me some rcg, it really gets me wet" and thank you little baby Jesus he bought it. I hopped on and rode it like I never rode it before and very shortly later he grunted and honked one last time and filled the cover. I got up, told him times up, slapped him on his fat ass and out the door I went vowing never to show my face in Baldknob, AR ever again. Recommend: not no, but HELL NO. If you see this dude coming ,run like the dogs of hell are chasing you, because he may not be one of the dogs of hell, but he's most definitely related to one. Originally Posted by Steely

LMFAO........Now THAT's fuuuunnnnnyyyyyyyyyy !!!!

I am going to share some random ideas most are probably bad
Please feel free to share your own ideas in this thread
Also can we get a yes no kind of vote
Please label each idea as 1,2,3 ect. I will start with the first 14

1. Providers are paid like strippers. (I give you 1$ to start and you earn the rest a dollars by doing things I like. Really good things get a fiver. Awesome things get a Jackson. And the most amazing thing gets Benjamin's). This would give providers a huge incentive for your pleasure. However it would give hobbyists a huge incentive to downplay acts also (strippers won't accept that pay for extras either so it's a no win situation.

2. Providers review the gents. almost the same way we do except. There would be a few changes. Hobbyists name Date. Did session happen on time. In/out. Activities. Fee. Tip. Would you recommend this hobbyists to other providers and so forth. However. Only verified providers would be able to read the rest of the story.

3. Arkansas page split into. LR/ surrounding. And nwa

4. Discount cards. Like do me 10x get 1 free. Or frequent flyer miles at least

5. If it's your time of the month. And activists down south are a no go. And you decide to seek business You must post as with all red letters

6. If either party hasn't showered within the last 2 hours. The party whom did not shower recieves a golden shower from the fresh one. And then if it's the provider they must provide bbbj for free If it's the hobbyists then they pay and leave.

7. All ads including bp must contain a code for bbbj or cbj. This way I don't have to waste a ton of time only to realize last minute or during session cbj is only option. So the code could be. Bbbj - I am an angel sent to pleasure you. Non bbbj should read - you will hate at least one part of this session
Also if it's an up charge. It should read. -I can be an angel sent to pleasure your body not your wallet

8. Hobbyists and providers must maintain their respected JUNK I'm not saying go bald eagle but just take some time and groom yourself. Penalties should be involved. We will call it the gorilla/forest penalty. Guys aka gorrilas must pay in full and only receive grooming. Ladies must give free bbbj and then get to grooming right after

9. If you upsell. It must be stated on ad. Hi it's only 150$ for the hour but I promise you it will be 400$ because whatever you like cost more. (I just said I wanted to take off my shoes for the session----sorry going shoeless cost more

10. If you see a provider and there are no reviews on the provider you must post your review. No more hiding them for yourself. Or not telling the horrific story of it actually being a dude ... That's just uncool

11. If you offer out all and you have a driver/pimp/boyfriend/ you must state that. -yes I do offer outcall but there will be a driver who happens to be better looking than you with a larger cock. And he probably my has a gun just in case you get out of hand. Or if you have a nice place he will probably rob you at gun point sometime. -hey look I said probably odds are that your place and your stuff suck so you shouldn't have anything to worry about

12. No redicously long post about anything this stupid

13. If you are Staff edit Your ad must read. Yeah I have to be in staff edit to do your ugly ass. For the gents when you contact you must include - staff edit

14. Bp needs to change their name. No longer backpage. It will now be referred to as Bitches Please







St. Searcher Originally Posted by rawlins

Hilarious yet interesting thread! I myself like 2 and considering 4 lol