Busted By Wife

grayturner's Avatar
Better to stick with the wife.
Do you think some hooker is going to change your diaper when you get old and feeble?
continue on, but learn to be like a Cat, and cover up your shit after you take one. Originally Posted by Chung Tran
Problem is once caught she will be on the lookout even closer for any signs. Even something simple as him not wanting sex (because just had some with a hooker) would be a sign.
starway's Avatar
I got busted cheating about 10 years ago. In my case my wife had just decided she didn’t want sex anymore and we were in a three year drought at that point. So an opportunity arose and I was like why not. Afterwards I tried to be open and honest with her about my feelings. Boy was that a mistake. All sharing feelings did for me was to provide her with more ammo to be used every chance she got. I realized it was because she was hurt but she used it to keep looking for things that weren’t there. Then I got to the point again after years of no more sex and began to hobby.
WORK IT OUT AND SAVE IT. That many years of marriage and you're not getting younger, your older self will thank you. Besides, in 10 years or less mother nature is going to play her dirty, DIRTY trick on you. You didn't mention kids.....believe me....getting busted this late in life, IT'S GONNA COST YOU, not only in dollars but in very damaged relationships with your children, that you may never, ever recover from!
WORK IT OUT AND SAVE IT. That many years of marriage and you're not getting younger, your older self will thank you. Besides, in 10 years or less mother nature is going to play her dirty, DIRTY trick on you. You didn't mention kids.....believe me....getting busted this late in life, IT'S GONNA COST YOU, not only in dollars but in very damaged relationships with your children, that you may never, ever recover from! Originally Posted by Kernelingus
Prob cheaper to keep her!
GypsyHeart's Avatar
let her roam also. maybe roam together some also. Originally Posted by offshoredrilling
I don't have any professional training on the subject at hand. You and your wife need to have a discussion about her feelings and what is missing from your relationship that led you to seek it outside of the relationship.

If you cannot reach an agreement on what is needed by BOTH or what is acceptable in the relationship...time to move on. Originally Posted by Fizley
Fixed it for you, Fizley.

You stated she is great in bed, so we know you aren't cheating from lacka. You said she is wonderful, so we know you aren't cheating because she is a bitch. I get the variety is the spice of the life, which is why anyone in a relationship with me must be open to swinging and accepting of my fun here. I do not require monogamy, just honesty.

Drilling hit it on the head, maybe do something WITH her. Swing, discuss some fantasies, maybe even pick her up in bar like she is a pro. A lot of options to make both happy, if she is open to exploration.

If she is rigid on monogamy, then you have a choice. End it to play out your game without guilt. Continue to cheat but understand that she will be up your ass and will take jabs at you. Stop cheating altogether.
JRLawrence's Avatar
I got busted cheating about 10 years ago. In my case my wife had just decided she didn’t want sex anymore and we were in a three year drought at that point. So an opportunity arose and I was like why not. Afterwards I tried to be open and honest with her about my feelings. Boy was that a mistake. All sharing feelings did for me was to provide her with more ammo to be used every chance she got. I realized it was because she was hurt but she used it to keep looking for things that weren’t there. Then I got to the point again after years of no more sex and began to hobby. Originally Posted by starway
Does everyone understand?
JRLawrence's Avatar
WORK IT OUT AND SAVE IT. That many years of marriage and you're not getting younger, your older self will thank you. Besides, in 10 years or less mother nature is going to play her dirty, DIRTY trick on you. You didn't mention kids.....believe me....getting busted this late in life, IT'S GONNA COST YOU, not only in dollars but in very damaged relationships with your children, that you may never, ever recover from! Originally Posted by Kernelingus
Well said. My wife is the key to my relationship to a huge extended family. Everyone loves granny. I take care of her, and I love her: it has been many years since we had sex. I still bring her flowers, do all the shopping, do all of the cooking or have and take her to her doctor's appointments. I try to make love to her in anyway I can, except sex.

The hobby is different. I can be kind and considerate to every woman I meet, but I understand that what they are able to contribute is important but limited.
When married, never bring a hook home.
Gotyour6's Avatar
Do you love your wife or no?

Only question you need to answer.

With you saying what you are saying, you dont.
Oh give me a break!!
TideLWave's Avatar
There are a lot of things to consider that only you can know.

How did she catch you? In the act or evidence?

Do you have grown children who will hate you?

Do you give a shit that all your friends and her friends are going to know? If you stay, some will know. If you leave all will know.

Does your wife know the person you were with is a provider? If so, factor that into the first two questions. If you leave your kid's mom because you have to have hooker poon get ready for some real hostility.

If she knows, then you better be prepared for all the questions that are going to come about other providers and how long. Fucking lie. If you tell her you've been fucking hookers for 10 years you will be divorced. You would probably prefer to be divorced without her or her lawyer knowing that.

If you don't use a hobby phone, then call your phone service provider now and get a passcode put on your account. Otherwise by about Wednesday of this week after she talks to her friends or her lawyer she is going to be ordering the last couple of years of phone records. They will arrive at your house in two large cardboard boxes.

Does your wife want to stay with you? Maybe she has a great attitude now because she doesn't like the prospect of being on her own. She might have even fucked your brains out since she caught you and you told her how much you still love her. That shit will change in a couple of years. She will resent you later for it and that great sex you have with her now will come to a halt. That's likely to happen soon enough anyway if she's your age. That's ok though because then she really wont give a shit what youre doing and you will be back to banging hobby girls like there's no tomorrow.

If you have a stable home life with a wife you like her or even love her, then do you really want to rock the boat? Can you minimize what you admit to and move on with your wife?

If you think you're going to give up the hobby, chances are you won't. Most guys can't or don't. But don't think you have to choose between the two. You don't. You can try to choose, but you don't have to.

If you decide to stay and keep fucking around, can you be careful? Can you play out of town and now shit in your own backyard?

One last suggestion to go along with lying and putting a passcode on your cell phone account, don't ever bring a provider, stripper, hooker, massage girl, or anyone else to your house if you're married or have a family. I can't believe people do that shit. I would tell you now to do that even if you're single but I don't want to hear all the single guys tell me how honest and trustworthy the girls are that go to their houses.

Good luck and keep us posted on how its going. This is the first interesting topic I've found in a while.
Wow all this sage advice on a hooker review board......who'd have thought????
I think it's best to stay with the wife. Once you've managed to get used to living with someone for that long, the root system gets too strong and deep to be worth digging up. Fucks up everything else around it in the foundations when you do. Much better to keep pressing onward if possible.

That said, do take a serious look at the men's advocacy literature out there. Don't accept a life sentence of guilt for falling victim to relationship dynamics that women have created at a cultural level, or for being affected by your own hardwired biology. I'm not justifying anything, other than manhood itself. Don't let the status quo onslaught of misandry drown out rational thinking. Anyone who demonizes a man for thinking like a man is an enemy of both men and women.
Just cheat man. Stay married. Law low for a while. Then get back out there. Originally Posted by 1blackman1
I agree.
Also, if you get married again marry a girl who likes girls on the side for a little fun every now and then.